I lost myself in the game.
I immersed myself in the game to forget reality.
In the game, I was happy.
I met many people, grew, laughed, and cried.
In the end, I saved the world.
No matter how I created my character,
No matter what weapon I used,
No matter which route I took,
No matter what kind of life I lived,
No matter what trials I faced,
Even if my body had disabilities,
I saved the world without breaking.
I reached the ending where all the NPCs survived.
But there was one person.
The priestess wasn't in that world.
The priestess who could only save the world by sacrificing herself.
She said she was happy, that sacrificing her life to save the world made her happy.
And then she threw herself away.
But.
When she died.
What about the people left behind?
What about those who remembered every moment spent together?
What about the ones who were there in those moments of happiness?
What about those who promised a future together?
What about the people who, unable to forget,
Unable to let go,
Spend their days in a living hell?
How are they supposed to go on living?
I wanted to know the answer.
I chased after an answer I knew I would never get.
But I couldn't understand.
Because the priestess was just a character in a game.
A character following a set path.
There was no one who could give me that answer.
After that,
I stopped playing the story.
I couldn't look at them anymore.
I didn't want to see anyone else sacrifice themselves.
I didn't want to be reminded of the past.
Of my parents,
Who saved me,
And died.
So.
I have to save Rubia.
No matter what it takes.
No matter the process.
As long as she stays alive,
That's all that matters.
Before 'I' get consumed.
Before 'I' disappear.
Before 'I' become a character in a game.
I have to raise her affection.
* * * *
"...Noah."
Rubia's trembling voice reached my ears.
I relaxed and spoke.
"Yes?"
"S-So... What did you say about me?"
"About what?"
"You know... You said something about my face earlier..."
"Oh, that you're pretty?"
Rubia swallowed hard, tapping the bed lightly.
"Hmph... I mean... Can you really tell what someone looks like just by touching them?"
"Hmm... I can get a rough idea..."
"Then... can I ask... what do I look like?"
Suddenly, Rubia's voice was filled with embarrassment.
Well, if someone told me I was pretty without even seeing my face, I'd be embarrassed too.
I might've exploded from the embarrassment...
"Alright. Hmm..."
I reached out towards Rubia, recalling the face I'd seen on the monitor in the game.
The first thing I touched was her collarbone.
"Eek... That tickles, Noah..."
Slowly, I moved my hand upwards, making sure not to poke her eyes, tracing the line of her shoulder, up to her neck, and then to her face.
"To start, Rubia... You have really smooth skin. It's soft... And your forehead is round. A cute forehead..."
I lightly traced around her eyes.
"Your eyelashes are really long... And your eyes, they're a little sharp, but kind. They're also pretty big."
My fingers moved down along her nose.
"Your nose is thin... and pretty tall. And your ears..."
My hand moved sideways, touching the curve of her earlobe.
"Your earlobes are really soft... They're cute. I don't know how to explain it. And your ears... Huh? Rubia, are you feeling feverish? Your ears are really warm..."
"Noah..."
As I was about to move down towards her lips, Rubia stopped my hand.
"Yes?"
"I... I need to use the bathroom."
With a flustered voice, Rubia dashed towards the bathroom, practically running into it.
Was she really in that much of a hurry...?
Well, after my body changed, it has become harder to hold it in, so I can understand...
Sympathizing with her situation, I nodded and waited patiently.
Now that Rubia and my greatsword were both gone, I felt an emptiness.
No greatsword, no Rubia, and... no pants either.
I felt incredibly empty in many ways...
"R-Rubia... When are you coming back?"
Feeling more anxious by the second, I called out to Rubia, my voice a bit louder than usual.
"A-Ahem, I'm coming out now."
I heard the bathroom door open and Rubia's footsteps coming closer.
"Noah."
"Yes?"
I turned towards the sound of her voice.
"Yap"
"Ah! What, what is this?!"
Cold droplets of water splashed onto my face.
"Pffft- It's water. Cold, right?"
"Wh-Why are you doing this all of a sudden...! Go dry off!"
I wiped my face quickly and complained.
"Hmm, I just suddenly felt like teasing you. Hehe..."
Letting out a strange laugh, Rubia lunged at me again.
"Ugh! W-Wait...!"
She started rubbing her still-wet hands all over my face.
"I'm not letting go until your face is completely dry."
As Rubia kept rubbing my face, she leaned in even closer.
"R-Rubia! Did you even wash your face?! It's freezing!"
My face was soaked...
Ugh...!!
I... I can't hold back anymore!!
I'm going to rub my wet face all over her clothes!
"C-Come here!"
I reached out to grab Rubia, but...
What I felt was something soft and squishy...
"W-Why is it so soft...? Rubia... Are you not wearing... underw—"
"Oh my, oh my?"
"H-Huh...? I-I'm sorry...!"
I quickly pulled my hand back and lowered my head.
This is so unfair...
Rubia was the one who started teasing me!
And... why is she so...!
It's so unfair!!
"Noah, you can't just go grabbing a girl's chest without permission. You need to ask first, you know."
"I-I didn't grab it on purpose...! And what do you mean, permission...? I-I'm really sorry."
Rubia's breathing grew louder as she leaned closer.
"So, how was it?"
"H-How was what...?"
Her voice, which had been in front of me, suddenly whispered in my ear.
"Like when you described my face earlier, can you describe... what you just felt?"
"W-W-W-What...? Why would you want to hear that...?!"
I tried to pull away, but Rubia just followed me.
"Why? I'm just curious. No one's ever described how it feels to touch me there. No one's ever touched me there before."
She's gone mad.
She's definitely lost it...
Rubia, were you always like this?!
"You're teasing me. Stop it...!"
"I'm not teasing you... Hold still, Noah."
"No! I don't want to!"
"If you keep moving, you'll fall—"
As I kept retreating, I felt around the bed, searching for the edge.
And then, I went a little too far.
"Huh...?"
My hand found nothing, and my body started tipping over.
The sensation of falling seemed to stretch out in slow motion.
Oh no... I was right at the edge of the bed.
This is going to hurt... It's definitely going to hurt.
I just hope the floor is okay.
Maybe it'd be better if my head took the hit...
At least healing my head wouldn't cost money like fixing the floor would...
As these thoughts flashed through my mind, my hair grazed the floor.
"Ugh... I told you, you were going to fall. Why don't you ever listen?"
Rubia's hand caught my back, preventing the fall.
"O-Oh... Nice catch, Rubia...!"
But then, I noticed Rubia's arm trembling.
"Hurry up and get back up... My arm's hurting."
"O-Okay!"
Using all my strength, I quickly pulled myself back up.
"Phew... That was close... Be careful, Noah. Even if I can heal you, pain is still pain."
"Y-Yeah..."
"Hm... This won't do."
The bed creaked as Rubia moved closer again.
"Stay still. I'm not going to do anything weird."
Realizing I was about to try and escape again, Rubia quickly reassured me, telling me not to move.
Step by step, Rubia crawled towards me until she sat behind me, wrapping her arms around my body.
"R-Rubia...?"
"This way, you won't run away or fall."
Being this close, I couldn't help but remember that earlier sensation, and my body stiffened again.
"Well, I guess this is better... Uh, Rubia...! I suddenly want some jelly! Could you get me some jelly, please?"
"No."
Her refusal was firm and immediate.
"Uh, then... I need to go to the bathroom...!"
"I'll go with you."
"W-Wait... What?!"
She's gone mad... Rubia's lost it!
Why is she acting like this?!
"You don't have your greatsword with you, so it'd be hard to go alone, right?"
"N-No, I'm fine on my own..."
"No, you're not. What if you trip? You could get hurt."
Rubia started to lift me up.
"N-No... Wait, just hold on a second."
"Why? Were you lying about needing to go?"
Rubia's voice, now cold, jabbed at my conscience.
W-What should I do...?
Should I just admit I was lying and take the scolding?
But there's no way I'm going to the bathroom with her! I can't!
"Uh, well... Y-Yeah... I was lying..."
"Noah. Are you playing hard to get with me?"
"H-Huh...? No! I-I wasn't..."
"You clung to me before, and now you're saying no? Is being in my arms that unbearable?"
"I-It's not unbearable... It's just... embarrassing..."
"We're both women, so why are you embarrassed? Besides, this is what friends do. And we're more than just friends, right? We're 'really close friends' who share secrets, aren't we?"
Friends...
Really close friends who share secrets...!
But... guys don't do this kind of stuff...
"W-Wait... Do girls normally... do this? I've never had friends, so..."
After a brief pause, Rubia calmly responded.
"Of course."
"R-Really?"
"Yes. It's completely normal. It's fine to just relax and stay in my arms. All close friends do this."
"I've never seen anyone do this outside..."
"Well, you've never seen people inside their homes, have you?"
"Well, no..."
"Exactly. You don't lie down outside like on a bed, do you? No, you do that in your home."
"Yeah, that's true..."
"Right. So it's the same thing. At home, in a comfortable space, this is what everyone does."
Is that really true...?
Do girls do this...?
Or is this just part of the culture in this world...?
She's saying it so confidently... Maybe she's right...?
Am I the weird one?
"W-Well... I guess I'll stay like this, then..."
Rubia stroked my head gently.
"Yes. Good thinking. From now on, I'll teach you how to be close with your friends. Little by little."
Rubia's voice sounded soothing, like someone comforting prey just before devouring it.
"I'll even feed you some jelly."
"Huh...? Jelly? I thought it was on the table?"
"I put some in my pocket earlier."
"Wow... But why didn't you mention that before...?"
"I forgot."
"O-Oh, I see..."
This wasn't all part of some bigger plan, was it...?
"Alright, open your mouth."
"Ahhh—"
Like a baby bird being fed, I opened my mouth, but instead of jelly, Rubia's fingers slid into my mouth.
A little too deep.
"Oh dear, I went a bit too far, didn't I?"
Her fingers, touching my tongue, tasted just like the peach-flavored jelly.
"Sluuurp... Ah, it's peach-flavored."
It tasted...
Like peaches.