"You've checked the details of the request, right?" Aileen said, tapping the desk as she slurped down her bitter coffee.
"Confidentiality… Fine, I'll trust you for now."
Aileen's gaze shifted towards the blacksmith.
Hey, there's no way he's the type to talk!
After pulling her eyes away from him, she looked back at me, speaking quietly.
"But if a word of this leaks…"
The grinding of her teeth was loud enough to send shivers down my spine.
"If that happens, I won't be able to take responsibility."
"N-No…"
Cold sweat ran down my back.
At least I knew Aileen wasn't a criminal. Earlier, while I was in the kitchen making coffee, I asked the blacksmith.
He'd simply said, "She's not a criminal."
Not a criminal, huh? So then what is she?
A noble? Or could she be… royalty?
Is that why she's offering so much gold?
All kinds of thoughts swirled in my head, making it spin.
I may be an experienced player of Black Sun, but I certainly didn't know every character by heart.
And I definitely didn't know the story. Honestly, I'd forgotten it.
I only skimmed the plot when I first started the game, after that, it was all about hunting and PvP.
How could I possibly remember a story I read 8 years ago?
If I had known everything about the story, I probably wouldn't have stayed in this small village.
"Ugh…"
Just as I was lost in thought, a massive pouch landed with a thud on the table in front of me.
"It's 15 gold. This is your advance payment. Once we reach Cartia Village, you'll receive the remaining 15."
But... that pouch looks way too big for 15 gold coins.
As I poked at the bag curiously, Aileen mumbled nervously.
"Ah, well... I couldn't prepare it in gold coins, so I brought silver instead. But the amount is correct, so don't worry."
"Hah… It's like you raided a piggy bank…"
At my words, Aileen leapt from her seat, flustered.
"A-a piggy bank?! I'm not a child! Hah! For your information, I'm older than I look, okay?! Not some little kid with a piggy bank!"
Hey, I didn't mean it literally… What's with that reaction?
I said it because I've been through something like this before!
I remember once when I was in middle school, I raided my own piggy bank after saving for three years and ran away from home. That's what made me think of it!
"I-I'm sorry…"
"Ah, no, I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to yell. Let's get back to the matter at hand."
Taking a deep breath, Aileen sat back down and spread out a large sheet of paper.
"Now, this is the map of our current village, right?"
All I could feel were her fingers tracing the paper. I couldn't see any drawings or markings.
From what she was saying, it seemed like a map, but... I can't see it at all.
But if I interrupt her now, she might get mad again.
I have to protect my 30 gold…!
Better to just agree for now and bring it up carefully later.
"Yes."
"So, once we leave here, we'll go this way…"
Her slender fingers slid across the paper swiftly.
"We'll be passing through this area. Will that be okay?"
"Y-yes."
"You seem confident. Well, normally people go this way, but we'll be taking a more direct route."
"...Y-yes…"
"It's a bit riskier, but this route is faster. Then we'll…"
Her voice trailed off, and I sensed her head slowly rising.
"…Wait a moment…"
She suddenly hunched over, fidgeting.
"Oh no, I didn't mean to... I wasn't trying to tease you... I mean…"
Ah. She must've forgotten I'm blind for a moment.
I mean, it's understandable. I've been walking around on my own, even making her coffee, so it's easy to forget.
It's fine. I'm a big enough person to let this slide!
"It's okay. I'm used to it."
I patted Aileen's hand gently and flashed her a smile.
Truthfully, I'm not used to it. It's only been two months since I lost my sight, so I haven't fully adapted.
But saying this might make her feel less guilty, right?
Besides, it's not really her fault, is it? We just met today, and I didn't tell her upfront that I couldn't see maps.
Wait… Did I just set her up for failure?
"This was my fault, not yours. Aileen, there's no need to apologize. I should be the one to say sorry…"
I tried to comfort her, but I stammered awkwardly, and to top it off, my voice cracked at the end…
Aileen looked up at me.
Did it work? I hope she's not laughing at my voice crack… Ugh, this is embarrassing.
"Ahem."
Feeling awkward, I brought my cup to my lips—only for Aileen to place her hand over it, stopping me.
"Noah… You already finished your milk."
"Oh…"
She was right. I'd just picked up the cup out of nervous habit.
"Noah, you don't have to force yourself to laugh…"
"N-no, really…!"
My face grew hot with embarrassment.
Not wanting her to see how red I was turning, I quickly lowered my head.
Instead of comforting her, I'd just made a fool of myself by stuttering and cracking my voice like an idiot…!
Ahhhh!!
Panicking, I jumped out of my seat.
I couldn't even bring myself to face her. Not that I ever could, but still!
"I-I'll just go get more drinks…!"
Oh no.
I stuttered again.
My pitiful body was really testing me today.
I grabbed the cup with both hands and rushed toward the kitchen—
"Watch out!"
Crash—
"Ack…!"
I tripped.
I forgot to grab my greatsword!
Dammit, Shin Noah! What the hell are you doing?! Aghhh!!
I had to find my sword first. I started crawling, feeling around the floor.
"Noah…?"
Aileen's voice sounded closer, as if she'd moved toward me. She sounded confused.
Okay, my sword should be around here…
That's the table leg… this is a chair… so…
"Ah…!"
Found it!
I sprang to my feet and gripped the hilt.
Looking around, I sensed Aileen staring at me, and my cup… had shattered into pieces. Great.
Blood dripped from my palms and knees where I'd cut myself.
I've gotten used to injuries like these.
But today…
It stung a little more than usual.
* * * *
"Watch out!"
Crash—
Noah tripped over a hammer lying on the floor, spilling the cup she had been carrying.
There was no way she hadn't seen it.
When we walked to the blacksmith earlier, she avoided puddles and animal droppings effortlessly. She even cleared obstacles from my path without missing a beat.
And yet, she didn't notice this one hammer.
As I tried to make sense of the situation, Noah began crawling across the floor.
Something was wrong.
That nagging suspicion I'd pushed aside surfaced again.
"Noah…?"
At the sound of my voice, Noah froze.
She couldn't pinpoint my location.
She only vaguely knew where I was.
She didn't… couldn't look at me.
"..."
I...
I must have reopened her wound, that deep trauma.
I thought about how I'd hastily unfolded that map, pretending I hadn't emptied out my own savings.
Even though Hermila, the receptionist, had briefed me on Noah's condition.
She could feel her surroundings, but she couldn't see them.
Of course, she wouldn't be able to see a map.
It was something I'd been mindful of from the start.
But I let my fragile pride get in the way and lost my composure.
I failed to consider Noah's feelings.
She smiled softly, blaming herself, but her smile was heartbreaking.
I couldn't even offer a proper apology.
The adventurers I'd seen in the guild were all rough and harsh.
Yet she'd survived among them.
She couldn't read.
She couldn't see maps.
Couldn't see clocks.
Couldn't even recognize people's faces.
That blind, young girl.
That small girl had endured all of it, despite the mockery and scorn, and kept moving forward.
Alone.
In that frail body.
No family to rely on.
She hadn't given up.
She was brilliant, shining despite everything.
In this cruel world…
Someone like her existed.
Among all the selfish, self-centered people in this world…
There was someone as radiant as her.
And so, I have to apologize.
To Noah, and to all the people like her.
No matter how brightly you shine,
No matter how beautiful you are,
The darkness in this world is too deep,
The filth of humanity is too disgusting.
I don't want to save this world.
Even if it all crumbles, I'll keep running until the end.
* * * *
"So, that's why it hurts more than usual… There's glass stuck in the wound…"
I focused my senses on the sting in my palm and realized tiny shards of glass were embedded in my skin.
I thought about how ridiculous I must have looked back there.
God, this is so embarrassing…!
"I should just die…"
And what was that? "It hurts more than usual"…?
What am I, a lovesick middle schooler?!
Aghhh!!
I thought the pain was emotional because of my situation, but it's just physical pain from the glass!
"Ahh… This is so embarrassing…"
As I pulled the shards out, I thought of Aileen, probably sitting awkwardly outside.
She seemed strong, yet fragile at the same time.
Tough but with hints of clumsiness, and a soft heart beneath it all…
She reminded me of my old self.
Maybe she's someone with a painful past, unable to share it with others.
But honestly…
That doesn't matter to me.
I set my sword down and let out a deep breath.
I opened my eyes.
Closed my ears.
Held my breath.
'My' thoughts drifted.
Even if Aileen had a painful past.
Whether she was a criminal or a saint.
It doesn't matter.
As long as she's human.
Even if it's not Aileen, as long as the person is human.
'I'...
If someone reaches out their hand, I'll take it.
If they ask for help, I'll give it.
If they beg me to save them, I'll do everything in my power.
Because I have to.
Because I always have.
In the past.
In the present.
And maybe in the future.
'I' have no choice but to help.
"Right?"
"Ngh-!"
After pulling out all the glass, I grabbed my greatsword and stood up.
"I wonder if Aileen wants another cup of coffee…?"
I poured Aileen's coffee and my milk into fresh cups and left the kitchen.
"Do I have everything?"
I glanced back at my seat.
Nothing was left behind.
Not a single shard of glass.
"This time, let's handle things with a bit more confidence!"
I walked out with my head held high.