The Pain of the Past
Ash smiled faintly, his gaze meeting Liana's piercing gray eyes. He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes as if summoning the courage to dive into the depths of a memory long buried.
"When I was seven," he began, his voice quiet but heavy with emotion, "I was sitting alone in the garden, under the shade of a tree. For reasons I couldn't fully understand back then, I was deeply sad. It wasn't just sadness—it was this suffocating emptiness, a weight that a child shouldn't even have to bear."
The table fell silent, the girls' teasing and laughter from earlier now replaced with rapt attention. Kiara leaned forward slightly, her lips pressed together in concern. Liana's expression softened, her usual cool demeanor giving way to genuine curiosity.
"I had my eyes closed," Ash continued, his voice steady despite the bittersweet nostalgia threatening to choke him. "Lost in my thoughts, thinking about things that didn't even matter at the time but felt so significant. Suddenly, I felt the sunlight disappear as though something—or someone—was blocking it. When I opened my eyes, I saw her."
His lips curled into a wistful smile, and he paused as if the memory had taken him back to that very moment.
"She had the most angelic face I had ever seen, framed by soft, golden curls. Her smile was innocent and pure, yet it carried a spark of mischief. She was looking at me curiously, her head tilted slightly to the side like I was some sort of puzzle to figure out.
"I was startled—she was a stranger in my own garden, in my own space. Before I could even react, she asked, 'Who are you?'"
The girls around the table exchanged glances, their expressions varying from curiosity to amusement. One girl, with her chin resting in her hands, murmured softly, "That's so adorable..."
Ash chuckled dryly. "At the time, I thought to myself, Who is this girl, asking me such a thing in my own home? I didn't want to talk to anyone, let alone this intruder, so I ignored her. But she wasn't the type to give up easily."
He opened his eyes briefly, meeting the girls' gazes before continuing.
"She kept pestering me. 'Hey, hey! I'm talking to you!' she said, her small hands on her hips like a little queen. I finally snapped back, 'Then don't talk to me.'
"But she was relentless. 'Why? Let's play! I'm bored.'"
The girls giggled softly, imagining the stubborn child version of Celeste. Kiara rolled her eyes but couldn't help a faint smile.
Ash's expression turned more somber. "The word play... It was something I couldn't afford. To me, it felt like a luxury meant for someone else. So I told her, 'Play by yourself. I'm not interested in something as silly as that.'"
"She didn't back down," he added with a chuckle that didn't quite reach his eyes. "'Why not? And how can I play alone?' she said, plopping down beside me like she had every right to be there. Then she added, 'My father's talking to Uncle Rowen, and I was bored, so I snuck out.'"
He paused, his tone growing softer. "That caught my attention. Uncle Rowen... She was talking about my father. So I asked, 'Who are you?' She puffed out her chest proudly and said, 'I'm Celeste. Angel Celeste.'"
Hearing this, the girls exchanged surprised glances. A few murmured, "That's so like her," while another sighed dreamily, "Of course she'd call herself an angel."
Ash laughed quietly, a hint of sadness in his voice. "I couldn't help but laugh. 'Who calls themselves an angel?' I said. She huffed and replied, 'My mother and father say I'm an angel!'"
He looked down, his fingers absently tracing the edge of the table. "At that moment, I thought to myself, Mother and father, huh... The words stung more than I wanted to admit. I couldn't help but swipe at my eyes, trying to hide the tears that had started to form."
The girls' smiles faltered, their expressions turning somber. Kiara clenched her fists under the table, her usual teasing demeanor replaced with concern.
"I'm sorry," Ash said suddenly, shaking his head. "I got sidetracked." He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before continuing.
"So, as I was saying, we became friends that day. She was relentless in her efforts, and over time, I started to care for her deeply. She cared for me too. We'd spend hours in the garden, playing games, weaving bracelets from flowers... It was a time of peace, one I hadn't known before."
He smiled faintly, his voice softening. "But then, one day, she looked at me with that angelic smile of hers and said, 'Let's get married.'"
The girls gasped, their eyes widening in surprise. "She said what?!" one of them blurted, unable to hold back her astonishment.
Ash nodded, his smile growing bitter. "I was startled, of course. I asked her, 'Do you even know what marriage is?' She just smiled sweetly and said, 'It's when two people promise to be together forever.'"
The girls exchanged amused glances, some giggling at the innocence of it all.
"I didn't know how to respond," Ash admitted. "So I brushed it off and told her, 'We'll decide in the future.' But she wouldn't let it go. Every day, she'd bring it up, pestering me until I finally said, 'Alright, fine.' At the time, I thought... it made me happy. She made me happy."
His voice broke slightly, and he paused to compose himself. "But as time went on, things changed. My dependence on her grew, but hers on me began to wane, little by little. I didn't think much of it at first... until we entered the Academy."
Ash's smile disappeared, replaced by a pained expression. "Seeing her with Austin... the way she behaved around him, the way she ignored me... It felt like a dagger to the heart. She gave him more importance than she ever gave me. I've seen her painting his portrait, smiling as if he was her entire world."
The girls were silent, their expressions a mix of shock and pity.
"It hurts," Ash said, his voice cracking. "Every time I saw her smile at him, it felt like a bug biting my heart, tearing it apart bit by bit. Every time she ignored me, it felt like a snake coiling around my neck, choking me until I couldn't breathe."
His hands clenched into fists on the table. "I tried. Again and again, I tried to show her how much I cared, how much I loved her. But then one day, I saw her..."
His voice trailed off, and his eyes opened slowly. The raw pain in them made the girls recoil slightly, their hearts aching for him.
"After that day," he continued, his tone hollow, "I wasn't in my right mind. I left everything behind and ran away. I just wanted to escape—to be free of the pain. And... I'm glad I did."
He took a deep breath, his voice regaining some steadiness. "Because on that journey, I realized something. I discovered that..."
He stopped, his words hanging in the air like a heavy cloud. The girls waited, holding their breath for what he would say next.