Isaakios leaned back in his chair, his mischievous grin spreading across his face as he addressed the room full of gossip-hungry ladies. "Oh ladies, let me tell you something. You think you've heard it all? Well, listen to this one. It involves Uluç and that nightmare of a woman, Aslı. You know how she is, right? Always strutting around like she's the empress of the world just because she married the heir. So cocky, so arrogant. She tried to assert dominance everywhere she went, and I mean everywhere. It was like watching a rooster parade around thinking it's an eagle, but it's really just making a lot of noise."
The ladies giggled as Isaakios continued, clearly enjoying the attention. "So, picture this. We're all in this big tent, and guess what? Uluç—yes, the legendary Uluç, the Shield of Bukhara—walks in looking like he'd just risen from the dead. I kid you not, this man had been so sick that we thought he was done for. But here he was, standing tall, strong as ever. And who's there with us? Kara. You know how Kara can be, all gruff on the outside but fond of his stories."
Isakios leans in, dropping his voice to a dramatic whisper, "So Kara starts introducing us to Wolfram, the new kid in the crew. And Kara—oh, Kara's practically fawning over Uluç. 'Do you know this man?' he says. 'This man is a living legend. He's Uluç, the one who wiped Baghdad off the map. The man who single-handedly destroyed the Caliphate.' You could tell Kara was showing off. He even pulls out this massive axe and says, 'This was Uluç's axe. He gave it to me. If you ever see someone carrying Uluç's gear, it means they're part of Uluç's army, part of Timurtas's soldiers.' Kara loved every second of it."
The room was completely absorbed in the story now, hanging on every word. Isaakios waved his hand as if brushing off the memory. "And then, ladies, the best part. Uluç—I swear, this man never cared for any of Aslı's nonsense—just stands up and says, 'Before you go questioning anyone in this room, you should be the one getting questioned first!' I swear, I thought Asla was going to explode! Uluç wasn't playing around. He looked her dead in the eye and said, 'I don't do politics, and I don't play games. Speak plainly, or don't speak at all. Now, what are you doing here?'"
Asli, trying her best to keep her cool, snaps back, 'I've got 12,000 men escorting me to Turk-il. I'm going to be beside my husband.'"
Isakios raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "Ladies, that was the biggest bluff of the century. Uluç saw right through her. He starts laughing—oh, it was a good laugh too—and says, 'Only 12,000 men? I've seen that many fall in a matter of hours on the battlefield under my command.' Can you imagine the shade? The man just shrugged her off like it was nothing. He goes, 'Thanks for the contribution to my army.'"
The ladies burst into laughter, shaking their heads at Aslı's attempt to intimidate Uluç.
"But Aslı, being Aslı, wasn't about to let that slide. She snapped back, 'I'm not here to join forces with you.'" Isakios made a face, imitating Aslı's defiance.
"And then, oh, ladies, Uluch hit her with the best line. He just leaned forward, looked at her, and said, 'Do you really think, when we leave this tent, that your soldiers will fight against me? The Shield of Bukhara? The man who wiped out the Caliphate and erased entire armies from history? Or do you think they'll fight with me? When we walk out of here, your soldiers will be mine.'"
The room was in hysterics now, the thought of Uluç taking down Aslı with just words causing an uproar of laughter.
"And guess what, ladies? He did it! We left the tent, and Uluch walks up to her soldiers and asks, 'Who's your commander?' They all panicked, thinking it was some kind of test. And guess what they said? They all shouted, 'You are, Uluç!' I'm telling you, the look on Asla's face was priceless! She was fuming. Then Uluç just said, 'Good. Now take down those banners and replace them with mine. From now on, you answer to my son, Togay.' And just like that, Uluç took control of Aslı's army. Just like that!"
The ladies were roaring with laughter at this point, slapping the table and wiping tears from their eyes.
"Can you believe it? Aslı, trying so hard to play the tough warrior's wife, got her entire army taken away by a man who hadn't even swung a sword! Uluç didn't need to fight her; he just outwitted her right in front of everyone."
The story wrapped up, the room abuzz with amusement, admiration for Uluç, and a newfound understanding of just how formidable the old warrior still was. Isaakios, clearly proud of his storytelling, leaned back and took a satisfied sip of his drink as the women continued to gossip about the spectacle. Aslı had been put in her place, and they all had Uluç to thank for it.