"Your… mum?" The words left my lips in a voice that was barely above a whisper as I muttered more to myself. I brought my knees together, buttoning my shirt absentmindedly as my mind buzzed with thoughts and questions were swirling inside my head like a damn hurricane.
I looked over at him with wide eyes and a slight frown etched onto my face, resting between my brows.
He was still staring at the piece of paper with this look etched onto his face, a look that I simply couldn't describe with words. I think it was a mixture of betrayal and hurt, but why? I didn't understand it yet. One thing I knew for certain was that I haven't seen him look this way for a very long time now.
"What? What are you…" my voice trailed off. I started to feel the panic settling in and I found myself extending my arm to grab the paper from his hands. My eyes scanned it in a hurry and almost immediately, recognition flashed past my eyes when realisation dawned upon me.
A surprised gasp left my parted lips this time as my mind tried to make sense of the situation.
It was no ordinary paper, it was in fact the same piece of cheque that Paula had given to me earlier as she tried to convince me to leave her son. How did she… How did it appear in my purse?
Then it clicked inside my head and as if on cue, the image popped into my mind. It must have been during the moment she grabbed me as I tried to leave and somehow she managed to slip it into the purse without me noticing.
I finally tore my gaze away from the cheque and closed my parted lips. I looked up at him to see that emotions were running wild in his dark eyes, a look of disbelief masked his features, a storm of emotions whirling inside of him.
I reached out to grab his arm, "Xavier, it's not like that," I quickly explained but he only pulled away, hurt evident in his eyes. "Please, let me explain," I pleaded, desperation seeping through my words yet he wouldn't listen to anything that I was saying.
"You were going to leave me…" he muttered under his breath in realisation as he stared ahead with a blank look etched onto his face. His eyes appeared empty and he didn't look like himself at all, he looked like a whole different person.
It was at this moment when the feeling of deja vu washed over me, engulfing me whole, swallowing me entirely. I felt as though I had seen this scene before.
The memories from over 3 years ago came rushing back into my mind all at once. I was transported back in time, brought back to the day when Xavier was hiding behind the wall watching me wrap my arms around another man and we locked lips.
I remember that look on his face very clearly. He had that same look plastered across his face, and that look was permanently imprinted on my mind. It was there to haunt me every single day as the guilt weighed me down despite knowing that I had to do it. I needed him to leave me so that my mother couldn't touch him or threaten him anymore.
He looked up to meet my eyes this time. "My mum told me you took her money but I didn't believe her," he started, his hoarse voice snapping me back to reality. "I told her that you wouldn't do that to me. But now, I guess she was –"
I wrapped my fingers tightly around his arm, clinging onto whatever last bit of hope I had left in me, cutting him off before he could finish the sentence.
"No," I began, my voice remained steady as my heart was thumping loudly against my chest. "Don't say it, don't say that. She isn't right about this at all. You don't understand, Xavier. I was —"
"I don't understand? What exactly do I not understand?" He snapped in frustration, his sadness quickly turned into rage. Anger was rising inside of him as his voice shook with rage and was laced with a tinge of sadness.
He stepped towards me, closing the gap between us. "I understand it all too well, Aurelia. You were going to leave me just like how you left me 3 years ago!" His voice cracked towards the end of the sentence, his tone carried a sharp edge to it, piercing through the tension that was brewing in the air between us, his words stabbing at my chest.
I let out a breath, and my gaze softened.
"Xavier…" his name left my lips. "You know I didn't leave you, it was my mother… she lied to you. We talked about this, remember? I told you I loved you… and I still do."
I knew his heart wavered slightly when he saw the look on my face but he was still hurt and betrayed by the past, he couldn't let it go, and I couldn't blame him for it. Maybe 3 years was still not enough for him and I only had myself to blame.
After all, it was my fault, I chose to be a coward and took the easy way out, pretending to cheat on him so that he would leave me. Regret started to wash over me within the next second, I should have just stuck by him no matter what mother was going to do or say.
There was a moment of silence that lapsed between us and the air continued to crackle with unspoken tension. He opened his mouth to speak again, asking me the question that was probably running inside his mind for quite some time now.
His voice dropped to a hush whisper as a look of hurt and betrayal crossed his eyes in an instant. We locked eyes this time as his dark eyes captured mine, holding me captive.
"Then why did you cheat on me with another man?"