It's probably going to be my first time out of my hostel for a whole day. Unc had me enrol a course at Strathmore University, these guys have been spamming my mail with e-newsletters every other day. My dream as I was growing up has always been to not be a victim of this system, I'm telling you, the system is rigged. You start kindergarten, go to primary, then secondary, then university, then expect to get a job.When you do get a job you're probably thinking about getting married next. You probably make babies and grow old and die, the babies then follow your footsteps. One thing I've always known, if men lived in this world alone, everything would have been completely different in a better perspective. It's because men love women for real, but women only love us for what we have. Think about if their body count would have been written on their foreheads, most of thieves, robbers, drug dealers and all sorts of criminals out in the streets trying to get a life for their women would quit. Think about accidents, they would decrease by over 50%. The system would be completely overturned. However, now that I'm part of this same system, I got to get the odds to go my way. I'm a man, I got to make money or else my crush too will slip away from me. I'm thinking about all this, I'm sure my grandpa would have been proud of me. It's a shame the old man succumbed to cancer, I've been trying to make a prayer for him to come home miraculously. He used to be my favourite person, well not anymore. I have no favourite person now, it's just me and my scooter. I hope after today, though, I'll have someone else to talk to, during the registration at the university.
"Hey Linda, where exactly do you come from?"
"I'm from Kisii, but if I were to describe the exact location, I'm sure it would go right over your head." She replies.
Meet my new friend here, her name's Linda, we met just two hours ago but she's already really comfortable with me. We had lunch together at one of the school canteens. I really don't believe in love at first sight but I think Linda's gorgeous, not like my crush though, but it would be a pleasure to keep her around as one of my options. I know she's probably thinking the same, keeping me around as a body.
"Asshole, why are you staring me so dead in the eye?"
"Sorry, I'm trying to see something, why'd your lashes just move?"
"Because I blinked, idiot, your lashes move whenever you blink."
"I've never seen eyes like yours before, you know."
"Don't even think about it, we're friends."
There I go, I'm already a reject from the first day and it's from the first friend I've made here. Honestly, she might be joking but it doesn't sound like it though. I don't feel bad about it though, I think she will easen up with time till she's too close to stop. Now it's my turn at the biometrics desk, there's a slender woman who I've probably met more times today than I've had erections. She will be taking my fingerprints.
"Middle finger please."
You mean 'fuck you finger'?
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
"That's what I thought." She belts at me while sizing me.
"These kids of this generation have no respect at all," she complains.
"Gen Z's, that's what they're called," goes a male colleague of hers that probably has a crush on her but has nothing to say to her, just like me, throwing in cheap words and fillers at the interval of 10 minutes, followed by an awkward silence which probably turns his girl off. It won't be long till she storms out of the hall to her office to clear her mind off of all this madness.
Talking about madness, I still feel mad at Linda for that, although I see her smiling at the other desk, the medical desk. I kind of question her smile because I see the nurse taking out a needle and a syringe. Maybe Linda's just not like me. I'm a December baby, and a last born at home. I fear needles much more than I hate them, they feel to me like when you're having sex and the penis just won't penetrate her vagina, then you got to play it around till she gets wet then it'll slip in on its own. It's kind of almost the same thing they're doing here, mounting a needle on a syringe, then cleaning my arm and inserting that needle into a vein forcefully, then releasing the vaccine. Which I compare to ejaculation. They say it's Hepatitis B vaccine. They say that because they're the ones giving it. I mean it could be an injection of 'venom' from the movie venom to make us turn into a monster, who knows?
Now the registration process at the school is finished, I see a text from unc telling me to meet up at Stage 1 outside the school. I walk fast and make my way out of the hallway then through the tiled pavement and finally check out at the gate. I walk down to Stage 1 for 10 minutes and I can see his saloon car, it's a Mercedes CLE 350 class, probably faster than mum's Toyota, I open the passenger door and sit myself.
"Siku yako imekuwaje," he sayss in swahili to ask how my day has been.
"Imekuwa top, top, top." (Meaning it has been top top top)
"Mi pia nimekuwa shwari, kazi nyingi tu hapa na pale lakini overall day imekuwa best."( I have also been good, a lot of work to do but my day has been the best so far)
We take a 40 minute drive and weave our way to my uncles home. I will leave for the hostel tomorrow, I'm burning to see Lily again, I wonder if she's burning for me too, honestly, she doesn't have to. They say one thing will kill a man, I'm sure mine has a lot to do with girls. I'm just so in love. I want to make love to a thousand girls and sleep with Lily the last and make her pregnant. Then she probably won't know how many girls I've slept with. I'll handle her so well with all the experience I've gathered from the other thousand. And I think she won't leave for another man, but before I do all that, I got to approach her first!