"If you miss them, you can go in and visit."
Arlecchino had been intently watching the orphanage from afar when a voice sounded behind her.
She immediately recognized the voice as belonging to her close friend Clervie, but she turned around anyway.
Upon turning, however, she froze momentarily.
Standing behind her was no longer the Oceanid or the innocent young girl she remembered.
The Clervie before her now was a tall, elegant woman, standing nearly as tall as Arlecchino herself, with flowing long hair.
She wore her hair loose and was dressed in a white gown, exuding the grace of a refined lady.
Seeing how much her friend had changed, Arlecchino couldn't help but chuckle wryly. "I never thought I'd live to see the day you'd grow into an adult."
"Well, how do I look?"
Clervie stood beside Arlecchino, smiling softly as she gently played with her hair.
"Hmm, very beautiful. It suits you."
Arlecchino rarely smiled, but now she did. "I'm happy for you."
"Thank you."
Clervie brought the conversation back to its original topic. "If you miss them, there's no harm in going to see them."
But Arlecchino shook her head. "They don't remember me anymore, so there's no point in going."
"Besides, I don't want my presence to cause unnecessary suspicion or trouble for them."
As her friend, Clervie naturally understood Arlecchino's reasoning.
Arlecchino was a Fatui Harbinger, and those children were formerly from the House of the Hearth.
Even though their memories had been burned away by the Flame of the Phial, the fire itself was provided by Arlecchino.
The children had once belonged to her, and even the means of erasing their memories came from her.
If Arlecchino were to approach Lyney and the others now, it would undoubtedly raise suspicions among those in Fontaine's court, questioning whether she had left behind some secret contingency with the children.
"Lady Furina is a benevolent archon. I don't think she would mind."
"Perhaps."
That was all Arlecchino said.
Did she miss the children? Of course, she did. Otherwise, she wouldn't have come to watch from afar.
But the children had finally escaped the shadow of the Fatui. There was no need for her to bring unnecessary doubts or trouble into their lives again.
To love them as their "father" meant to miss them but not disturb them.
"Are you leaving?"
Clervie looked at her.
Arlecchino nodded. "Yes, knowing you and the children are doing well is enough for me."
"Alright. Farewell."
Clervie nodded and smiled.
Even though they were close friends, due to differences in identity and position, every meeting between Arlecchino and Clervie always ended in a swift farewell. Clervie had long grown accustomed to this.
Arlecchino said nothing, turned, and began to walk away.
But she had barely taken twenty steps when Clervie called out to her.
"Peruere!"
The name halted her steps.
Clervie spoke, "Do you still remember our old dream?"
"We always dreamed of building a home free from oppression, a place where everyone could find freedom and happiness."
"Now, that dream has so easily become reality."
"In this home, I and the children are no longer confined, no longer fighting, no longer living in shadows. Everyone has the right to pursue their own path and happiness."
"We're all very happy."
Clervie's face carried a look of hope as she gazed at Arlecchino and continued, "But amid this happiness, I often think—how wonderful it would be if you were here too, if you could experience this happiness with us."
After Clervie finished speaking, Arlecchino stood still, silent for more than twenty seconds before finally responding, "Did Furina teach you to say all that?"
"Of course not," Clervie replied with a shake of her head.
"Is that so."
Arlecchino neither confirmed nor denied the statement. She didn't turn back and simply continued walking away.
As she watched Arlecchino leave, Clervie let out a helpless sigh.
She knew Arlecchino wouldn't respond to her words.
But she had said them anyway because whether Arlecchino chose to stay or not was her decision, but expressing her feelings was Clervie's.
Arlecchino might never stay, but Clervie had conveyed her thoughts—that was her intent.
After leaving, Arlecchino returned to the embassy.
Usually, she gave off the impression of a still, lifeless pool of water, with no discernible emotional ripples for anyone to perceive.
But even the strongest of people, when alone, occasionally let down their guard. Constant vigilance was exhausting.
Now, lying on her bed and staring blankly at the ceiling, Arlecchino reflected on Clervie's words.
"A dream, huh?"
Her eyes were vacant as she let out a long sigh.
For so long, she had never truly known what her dream was. She didn't even know what she truly wanted.
As a child, the former Harbinger of her position placed high expectations on her, hoping she would become the strongest of all the children—so she did it.
Clervie said she wanted to rebel against the former Harbinger, so Arlecchino followed her and did it.
She committed a grave crime, but the Tsaritsa pardoned her, granting her the title of Harbinger. To repay the Tsaritsa's mercy, she became a Fatui Harbinger.
After becoming the Harbinger known as the Knave, she took over the House of the Hearth and chose a management style completely opposite to that of her predecessor. While adhering to the rules, she tried her best to provide the children with as much love as possible.
She told herself that the reason for doing this was to fulfill Clervie's dream.
Yes, from a young age, her personality had always been cold and indifferent. She had almost no desires for things like dreams or aspirations.
She didn't have anything she truly wanted. She drifted along the currents of fate, passively letting it dictate the course of her life.
Because she lacked any strong desires, she accepted everything—whatever fate brought her way, she embraced it.
However, this person, who had floated aimlessly in the river of fate for so long, had now reached a point where she had to make a choice.
At this moment, she couldn't deny that Clervie's words had touched her.
For so long, she had believed that her care for the children, her efforts to ensure their well-being at the House of the Hearth, were purely about fulfilling Clervie's dream of creating a home where everyone could live happily. Clervie was gone, and she saw herself as merely carrying out her late friend's wish.
But if it was solely about fulfilling Clervie's dream, the children had already escaped the darkness and were now leading truly free lives.
Moreover, these children no longer remembered her.
Clervie's dream had already been realized, and the children no longer recognized her. If she truly had no emotional connection to them, then why did she return to visit them?
Why did she feel such comfort and joy at seeing the children living happily?
Even though her ties to these children had been severed and she no longer bore the "fatherly" responsibility for them, why did she continue to worry about them so much?
Faced with these facts, she had no choice but to admit that her attention to the children wasn't just about fulfilling Clervie's dream or opposing the methods of her predecessor as the Knave.
She deeply loved those children.
Clervie's words had touched something deep in her heart, forcing her to confront what it was she truly wanted.
She was the surviving bloodline of the long-destroyed Crimson Moon Dynasty.
Her homeland no longer existed in the world.
She was also an orphan, with no family in this world.
In other words, from as far back as she could remember, she had been a person without any place to call home.
As an accomplished diplomat, she excelled at analyzing others' psychology and was equally skilled at dissecting her own.
It only took a brief moment of reflection for her to understand: because of her upbringing, she had always longed for the concept of "home."
And precisely because of this longing, when she learned that Clervie's dream was to create a home where everyone could find happiness, she had agreed to help, driven by her own yearning for a "home."
Otherwise, given that she was already the strongest child at the time, and with her indifferent personality, it's hard to imagine why she would repeatedly risk angering the previous Knave to help Clervie.
Just as Felina saw a reflection of her younger self in Furina and wanted to help her, this is a psychological projection. When you encounter someone with a past strikingly similar to your own, you instinctively treat them with kindness.
Because subconsciously, you see them as a version of your former self. Deep down, you believe that by saving them, you're also redeeming the person you once were.
This was also true for Arlecchino. Under the management of the previous Knave, the children of the House of the Hearth constantly fought and killed each other. She grew up in a chaotic and combative environment.
Though she never expressed it aloud, her longing for a "home" made her despise such an environment. She yearned for a peaceful and happy home.
So, when she became the Knave and took over the House of the Hearth, she overthrew the previous Knave's methods of management, choosing instead to give the children as much love and care as possible.
Because, in her subconscious, she saw those children as reflections of her younger self and Clervie. She believed that by loving those children, she was also soothing the child she once was.
Yes, this decisive, coldly efficient Harbinger of the Fatui, deep down, only ever wanted a home—or rather, a place she could truly call her own.
She cherished watching the children grow and change, and she loved their playful, innocent antics.
She loved the moments when she returned from missions, and the children of the House of the Hearth would gather around her, their awe mixed with admiration and concern, joyfully calling her "Father."
In those moments, she felt love, and the drifter within her found a place to belong.
That sense of belonging, the knowledge that no matter how busy she was, a group of people far away awaited her return, brought stability to her chaotic soul. She loved that feeling.
Though she always tried to maintain her cold demeanor, she couldn't deny that she loved those children deeply and couldn't bear to part with that home.
Thus, when Clervie spoke those words, she stopped in her tracks.
Whether or not Lynette and the others still remembered her, she had always loved the children of the House of the Hearth and never let go.
If the children could live freely, then even if she was no longer part of that home, she could endure the loneliness of drifting along with the tide.
But now, Snezhnaya was about to wage war against Fontaine.
The fires of war were about to engulf the entire nation.
Once war broke out, the children's warm and loving home would be reduced to ashes. The children, who had finally found happiness, would inevitably be caught in the crossfire.
Would she resolutely stand with the Fatui, destroying the home of those she loved and becoming the enemy of the children? Or...
Lying in bed, Arlecchino fell into a long silence.
The tides of the world were forcing this habitual drifter to make a choice and confront her true stance.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
30 Advanced Chapters Available on Patreon:
Patreon.com/DaoOfHeaven