Chapter 20 - Can't hate

Several hours have passed since Kazuma was taken to the infirmary.

The school's medical staff have been working tirelessly, trying to stop the bleeding and stabilize his condition.

Kazuma's body is now covered in bandages - wrapped around the deep wounds in his stomach, arms, and legs.

His bruised face looks more peaceful now, though still marred by bruises and cuts.

His right arm, which was broken, has been bandaged and casted, hanging by his side.

The atmosphere in the infirmary is quiet. The evening sunlight streaming through the window adds a cold and gloomy ambiance.

Only the faint sound of the heart monitor can be heard, indicating that Kazuma's life is still hanging on, though his breathing is slow and labored.

The girl who had earlier rushed in a panic to the infirmary is still there, sitting in the corner of the room with a vacant stare.

Her eyes are red, a sign that she has been silently crying for the past few hours.

Although Kazuma is known as the school's notorious delinquent, to this girl, he is more than just a criminal - he is the father of the child growing within her.

She looks at Kazuma's bandaged body.

Each cut and bruise on his skin seems to voice the suffering that words cannot express.

Yet, there is a small sense of relief in her heart to see that Kazuma's bleeding has finally stopped. The man, though physically shattered, is still clinging to life.

Unconsciously, the girl places her hand on her abdomen. She tries to calm herself, but the uncertainty of the future continues to haunt her thoughts.

What will happen after this? Will Kazuma wake up? And if he does, how will he face the reality that he is going to become a father?

The infirmary door suddenly opens, and a medical staff member enters to check on Kazuma's condition.

The girl quickly wipes the tears from her cheeks and averts her gaze, not wanting to show her weakness in front of others.

The staff member carefully examines Kazuma's bandages, then looks at the heart monitor.

"His condition is stable for now, but he's still too weak. He needs to recover," the staff member murmurs, more to themselves.

The girl nods slowly, though she knows Kazuma won't recover quickly. His injuries are too severe. But one thing she knows for certain: Kazuma is still alive. And as long as he lives...

Shina gradually approaches Kazuma's bedside. Her steps feel heavy, not from fatigue, but from the emotional burden she has been carrying.

Shina sits next to the helpless Kazuma lying on the hospital bed. Her gaze is fixed on Kazuma's bruised face, his closed eyes, and his slow yet steady breathing.

In her heart, Shina feels a deep unease.

She takes a deep breath, calming herself before she begins to speak. Her voice trembles, almost choked by the emotions welling up in her chest.

"Kazuma..." she says softly, though she knows Kazuma may not hear her.

Tears start to flow down her cheeks, no longer able to be contained. "My life... my life was a living hell before you came," her voice almost breaks.

She tries to hold back, but she can no longer contain the weight that has been pressing on her today.

"Every night, I would hear the disgusting sounds from my mother's room... she would serve countless strange men, sometimes five at a time. Sometimes... sometimes I almost became one of their victims too." Shina winces, her body shivering as she recalls the unlocked doors and the lustful gazes of those men.

"And then there was my father," she continues, her voice full of pain.

"A drunken addict, who didn't hesitate to beat us. Even..." she pauses, the tears streaming down her face more heavily.

"Even he tried to... force himself on me, Kazuma. The man who should have protected me..." her voice is hoarse, restrained by sobs.

"But even though my life was a living hell, Yamashita and Rin... they were the reason I could still endure. I... I dreamed of having a happy family one day." Shina smiles bitterly, her tears unrelenting.

But the smile fades, replaced by the grim shadows that haunt her.

"And then you came... you barged into my life, taking everything away. The purity I should have saved for Yamashita, you took that away," she says, her voice trembling.

"All the firsts... you took them from me." Shina sobs, covering her face with her hands.

"I hate you, Kazuma... I hate that you had to come into my life, ruining everything I had. But what hurts more is... I can't truly hate you. Why? Why can't I hate you?"

She pauses for a moment, trying to take a deep breath to calm herself. Then, her hand reflexively moves to her still-flat abdomen, where a new life is growing.

"It wasn't enough that you took everything from me, Kazuma. Now... now I have to deal with this alone," she whispers hopelessly.

Tears flow endlessly as the mix of emotions overwhelms her.

"What am I supposed to do? I... I don't know, Kazuma. I'm confused, I'm scared..." her cries intensify.

As she contemplates the bleak future that awaits her, Shina feels something soft and gentle caressing her head.

The touch is soothing, if only slightly. Surprised, she turns and sees Kazuma, whom she thought was sleeping, looking at her with an oddly gentle gaze, his eyes slightly open.

"I'm here..." Kazuma's voice is raspy but firm.

"I will take responsibility... so, don't cry," he says, slowly wiping away the tears on Shina's cheeks with his still-functioning fingers.