Despite it being a small clinic the waiting room was still packed at that late hour. I flick my wrist and my smart watch instantly lit up.There were plenty of notifications on the screen from the missed calls coming from my phone but I swipe them away. The people sitting on the benches glance in my direction like I am a strange phenomena in this neighbourhood. I understood why. It is because I am dressed in well tailored clothes, pumps with a tall heel and a designer handbag hanging on my arm. My outfit is not the norm in this neighbourhood. I especially chose this clinic for that reason.
It's not that I want a target on my back coming to this neighborhood dressed like this. It isn't my choice to dress in such an aesthetic.
This is the image required to fit the bill as Mrs Kingsley. I am forced to dress like this at all times as it affects the family's image.
I push the door out of the clinic, the sound of my heels clanking against the pavement echoing in the quiet night. My fingers tremble as I glance at the envelope in my hand. I risked everything to come here. If Roan finds out that I had left without his permission, he will make it impossible for me to leave the mansion again. Despite the dazzling beauty of the Kingsley estate, it had become my prison for the past decade.
I find a bench in a park that seems to be bustling with activity and sit down, the cool night air brushing against my skin. I am not familiar with this neighbourhood but seeing people jogging, some running and others sitting on the benches I feel at ease.
I finally pull out my phone, my fingers frozen with indecision. I open my call log and my eyes stare at the contact saved as mum. This was the only number that had contacted me in the past two weeks. It was the only number that ever called me if I am being honest with myself. Should I call? What will her reaction be? She will be happy. After all this is what she had wanted for a very long time.
I dial the number, but after five rings, there was no answer. She must be prancing around at another pointless banquet and too busy to answer my call.
With a sigh, I scroll through my contacts until I found a number I hadn't called in a long time. My eyes stung with unshed tears. It was my sister, Sunny's number.
Taking a deep breath, I force a smile, one that feels as ugly as crying, and dial the number. This time, the phone is answered swiftly, but my voice was stuck in my throat.
The soft voice of my sister, Sunny, comes through the receiver, instantly bringing a lump to my throat. I rub my forehead harshly trying to stop myself from breaking down but I fail miserably.
"Sunny," I call out softly, my voice barely above a whisper. The background noise where she is sounds cheerful, full with laughter and chatter. I don't want to ruin her mood, but the dam breaks, and I start to cry. The sound of my whimpering voice is especially ugly to me. I try to restrain myself but the more I try the harder I cry. How did I, a carefree person end up like this? Breaking down in a park with no where to go.
"Hold on," Sunny says, her voice full of concern. The sounds on the other side slowly die down, replaced by a quiet that feels both comforting and isolating. I cry for what feels like an eternity, my sobs echoing in the silence. Sunny keeps asking me, "What's wrong, Sel? Please, tell me."
Finally, after what seems like forever, I manage to calm down enough to speak. I try to restrain my voice from trembling, but the effort was almost too much. "Sunny, I... I need your help," I say, my voice cracking despite my best efforts.
I wipe away my snot and tears with the back of my hand, trying to steady my voice. "SuSu, I don't want to ruin your party. I just needed to talk to someone."
"Don't worry about it," Sunny's soft voice reassures me. "It's not as important as you. What's wrong?"
A wave of guilt and happiness wash over me. Despite everything that had happened—me marrying the man Sunny had been engaged to for years—she was still so kind to me. I gather my courage the heaviness in my chest growing with each second. "I... I don't know who to tell."
"Tell me," Sunny replies gently trying to encourage me. "You know I have your back no matter what."
I think back and realise that she indeed had my back in the past even when our parents shunned me for what I did. A couple pass by, holding hands and pushing a stroller. I feel a warmth in my barely pregnant belly. "SuSu," I say, swallowing hard. "I just found out that I am pregnant."
The other side of the call goes quiet, and I bite my lip nervously. How will she take it? Will she curse me to the pits of hell. Even if she does, I am already living in it.
After a moment, Sunny's voice comes through the phone, "How many weeks?"
I pinch the paper in my hand. "Se-seven weeks."
Sunny's voice softens even more. "Then what are you going to do?" What am I going to do? I know the exact answer to that question. It hurt bringing a child in my situation but this is what everyone wants. I have no choice in the matter.
My tear-streaked face and smudged makeup must make me look pitiful. A young man who had been power walking around the path several times notices my pitiable appearance. He suddenly stops and asks me, "Miss, are you okay? Should I call you a cab?"
"Hold on," I tell Sunny before turning to the man. "I'm fine, thank you."
He nods, concern still etched on his face. "Just be careful. The neighborhood is safe, but not safe enough for a young woman to be out alone this late."
I thank him again and watch him walk away as I return to my call. "Su Su, he hates me and it sucks bringing the baby in my situation but that's what is good for us and for the family," I admit, my voice trembling once more.
Everyone from my mother to Roan's grandparents have been pressuring me to provide them with an heir and now their wish is granted. But I am not happy, I am scared.