Hey, I have 50 chapters worth of words on Patreon and am mass-releasing, so read these instructions carefully if you're interested in reading ahead: go to patréon.com/eternalyujin and go to Collections —> The Cycle of Hatred.
After that, enjoy your reading!
— — —
.
When I opened my eyes, the world was on fire.
Everything, from the sky to the earth, was alight with burning orange tendrils that licked angrily at me. Blackened, towering buildings smouldered and the heavy scent of charred flesh violated my nose.
I retched and fell to my knees, palms burning. When I rose, a scorched path opened itself from within the sea of flames. I walked to it, every step spawning a fresh wave of nausea, but I was eager to escape the oppressive heat.
I passed by buildings, levelled or destroyed. Familiar buildings. I swallowed thickly and continued. My ribs curled inwards, stomach clenched. The air turned cold but when I looked back, the fires stretched as far as the horizon could see – soundless.
A cry snatched the silence. In the clearing ahead of me, through the broken walls of the village, I gazed upon the stuff of my nightmares. My lips parted. A strange, strangling gasp left my mouth.
This nightmare. This same nightmare. It wasn't one I'd had in years! Cold, foreign shock easily gave way to furious anger.
I marched through the broken walls and shook my fist skyward. "You fucking bastard! Do you enjoy torturing me like this, huh? Why do you do this? What did I ever do to you!"
Halfway through my tirade, the world shimmered. I blinked, and it slipped down my face. As usual, I made sure to keep my back to the baby on the altar. I deafened my ears to the final words.
They pulsed in my head instead.
Blood-red eyes blinked down at me. Those were not the mindless eyes of a beast. There was no tomoe in them.
Its lips curved up – mocking me – even as its fur lost its substance and its body evaporated and swirled in a crimson haze of chakra. The world disintegrated… except for the altar I'd so far made it a point to ignore. Two lay at its base, lightless eyes pointed at me.
Within the surrounding abyss, I looked for it – knowing where it would be as sure as I was that the sun would rise once I woke up.
There he was. His single remaining eye was nothing more than a dot in the distance – but he was there. Pulling strings in the background and forcing the world to dance to his tune.
I sent a kunai hurtling at him with a flick of my wrist. Then, I looked down at… myself: toothless, swaddled in the very same orange blanket I'd fashioned into a scarf last week.
Laughing softly, I closed my eyes and, after a time that could have been seconds or far longer, I awoke. I didn't sit up immediately but stared at the roof. The world rocked uneasily beneath me, vision fading in and out of focus.
I swallowed and winced at my parched throat. The sun was just beginning to rise and I was awake even earlier than the birds. My heart thrummed uneasily inside my chest.
Clearly, I wouldn't be going back to sleep until the day was over.
Minutes later I took to the streets on a morning run that would kick off my day. It was the first thing I did after freshening up – and for good reason too. Despite the thin veneer of productivity, the two-week-long break from the Academy was not going very well for me and the adherence to a schedule was about the only thing stopping me from sleeping in all day.
Throughout my life – both here and elsewhere – I've always been someone whose thoughts are prone to spinning wildly out of control. It wasn't too big of a deal before. The biggest problems I'd ever faced were looming exams or narrowly missing my rent.
But now, I had to look forward to a life of constant battle and what would probably be my death in around a decade.
It, quite frankly, pisses me off to admit but the thought terrified me. My hatred for Obito and his hand in the sequence of events leading to my death was nothing compared to how scared I was of my future.
It was part of the reason why I never hung out with any of my peers and holed myself up in the library or on the school's roof until now.
Life itself felt too slow for me. I couldn't progress fast enough. Chakra and all it entailed was barred to me until the new year at the earliest. Meanwhile, Madara – or his will through Obito – was off manipulating things in his favour while I had to deal with children, bitter adults, and my powerlessness.
The powerlessness to change any of the things that inspired that fear in the first place.
That's how things were up until last year, anyway. After I met Teuchi and Ayame, the sense of spiralling hopelessness screeched to a halt. I could, for once, live in the moment.
But my spells of negativity, while made worse by the unjust hatred aimed at me, would have happened anyway. I mean, who on God's green earth would be able to live with the knowledge of a future where they're likely to die?
I tutted once and focused on putting one foot in front of the other, swallowing the taste of blood.
My heart wasn't in it today. I was certain it would not be in much of anything.
I'd never understood that nightmare. Was it something my mind had concocted years after the fact? Was it the Nine-Tails doing it to screw with me out of boredom?
I just didn't know.
When I had finished my run around the village, I returned no calmer than I was when I left. Restlessness – individual chilling pinpricks – danced across my skin from crown to feet and my breakfast was tasteless on my tongue. Glancing about the village on my way to Ichiraku Ramen only worsened it.
All my thoughts were as far removed as could be from ramen. I looked at the children darting about, waved off by grinning parents and seethed with indignation.
How? How could they smile like that with everything I knew was coming? I smiled wryly to myself at the thought, realising that I was the only one who knew what was coming.
It was almost ironic, really.
I took a small detour, following the pair of siblings as they raced towards Konoha's main playground, located in the centre of the village. Not out of any desire to go and play, but to just watch.
Maybe seeing their careless innocence would banish the spell of stormy thoughts that I could do absolutely fuck-all about.
And it did for a while… until I heard the crying.
— — —
.
"If you're a Hyuuga, then show us your Byakugan!"
Her eyes stung. She clasped her hands close, eyes darting about. "I-I…"
She gulped once and her lips trembled. Her father's voice boomed in her head.
"You are the heir to the main clan, Hinata. It's high time that you carry yourself as such. Kindness will get you nowhere in this world."
But fainter – barely a whisper – her mother's words came to mind.
"There's enough bloodshed and cruelty in this world, Hinata. Be that smidge of missing kindness, make friends, talk things out, and maybe things will become better."
Hinata remembered the hope she felt that day. Looking into the eyes of her assembled classmates, she saw none of what her mother had spoken of.
Her stomach clenched, edging closer to her ribcage. "I-I…"
"But if you're not, don't look at us." Nobu stomped to the front of the pack with a mocking grin. "Your eyes are real freaky, huh… Byakugan Monster!"
Hinata gasped – but it came out as a whimper. Nobu blinked and then snickered.
She squeezed her eyes shut, heat exploding across their lids. Her heart hammered in her chest. Never in her life had she expected to hear her clan's prized ability be insulted… and insulted because of her. She wished she were anywhere but here: in the middle of the playground, surrounded by their loud, cruel laughter.
Her father's lessons were at the forefront of her mind. Always there, so cold and stern. But Hinata could not adhere to them. No, she never could. Never enough; always falling short of his expectations – their expectations. Her throat trembled with the weight of her fear – a thousand unspoken words strangled.
She opened her eyes to a blurred world, surrounded by her classmates – people she thought she could become friends with.
It was why all of this had begun.
Foolishly, she had hoped that maybe… she could have fun here. Hinata might have not been very social during the first term, but this was her chance! The invitation to come and play at least allowed some escape from her father's demanding gaze.
Unfortunately, it proved to be the same. Maybe worse, because no one there – save for Neji – had spoken to her like this before.
The circle inched closer, looming over her. Hinata's head swivelled around. Everywhere she looked, she saw unbridled glee at her suffering. In one step, Nobu was in front of her, breaching the gap between her and them. His hot breath washed over her face and she stumbled.
She looked up, paralysed. His form blotted out the sky, casting an intimidating darkness over everything.
"Lookie here, everyone! The Byakugan Monster's crying!"
Hinata closed her eyes. No one would come to help her and she could not help herself. Their laughter washed over her. Her eyes burned. A fresh wave of hot tears seeped out, trailing burning paths down the sides of her face.
Her father was right. She would never be enough. Not for him, not for them… or herself.
"Enough."
The laughter stopped.
"U-Uzumaki?" Nobu stepped away from her, all amusement vanishing from his face. "What are you doing here?"
Her eyes snapped open out of pure shock. Uzumaki was notorious for vanishing during break times. No one knew where he went during school, let alone outside of it.
A small warmth ignited in her chest. Someone had come to help her.
Naruto glanced around the circle, and then at Nobu.
"Get lost. All of you."
Nobu frowned. "Wait, why do we have to listen to yo—"
"Do you really want to finish that sentence?" Naruto asked, boredom bleeding into his voice.
"U-Um…" He shared a glance with someone in the circle of people surrounding them and turned heel. "L-Let's go, everyone. It's the holiday, we don't need to waste our time with them."
As the crowd dispersed, Hinata rose to her feet, patting herself down. A wet chill spread across the small of her back and she looked down at the puddle behind her.
Ignoring the discomfort, Hinata bowed to Naruto. "Th-Thank you for helping me!"
Naruto remained silent and walked away. Stumbling a little, Hinata followed him, torn between speaking and simply continuing in silence.
"I'll walk you home so you can get yourself cleaned up."
"T-Thank you!" She looked down, shrinking into herself.
While Hinata was grateful, she was also frustrated that she had to be saved in the first place. Soon, she could see the compound in the distance, and their walk slowed to a stop.
Naruto looked her up and down before he asked: "What was that? Back in the park, I mean."
"E-Excuse me?"
"Why did you let them do that to you? You let them get close – even when it was clear as day Nobu wasn't looking to have a conversation. In fact, why do you let them bully you at all?"
"I-I…" Hinata stammered, not expecting the barrage of questions.
Naruto frowned. "I've seen you in sparring. You could have dealt with Nobu. Easily. Did you expect someone would come to help you?"
She stepped back. Naruto stepped forward.
"Or did you give up?" His voice dropped a tone. "Because if you did, I don't see any reason why you're trying to be a shinobi. Weakness is something that no one can be blamed for. So long as you try to overcome it, no one has any right to make fun of you for it. But you willingly let them do this to you. Even when both of us know you could have fought back."
He was not yelling, but his voice was intense. Hinata's heart forced itself up her throat. Each of his accusations worked ceaselessly to destroy the veil of safety his help had faintly brought.
Was he here to make fun of her as well? Was nowhere safe?
"...This world isn't kind, Hinata. And it's not fair either. People aren't kind. No matter what Lord Third says about the village being a family, that will always be true." Naruto sighed once before his voice regained its steel. "I won't mince my words: grow a damn spine. You have everything going for you. You have your clan's vast wealth, skilled shinobi to ask questions to, and if all else fails: the reputation to keep people like Nobu away!"
Somehow, Hinata had found her voice again. She swallowed her heart back down and yelled: "T-Then why!"
Both she and Naruto were stunned into silence at how loud it was. Hinata froze, afraid. A measure of gentleness entered his tired blue eyes.
"I've told you already. You allow them to. You're competent, but you're not strong. Become strong where it matters. Carry yourself in a way that you can be proud of and people like Nobu will never bother you again."
Hinata chewed on her lip as Naruto walked away. She peered at a puddle in front of her while her equally helpless reflection blinked back.
"Lady Hinata!"
The spell was broken, and she looked up, one of the many Hyuyga guards marching towards her. His face was set into a deep scowl – but that was usual for most people in the compound.
"Why do you look like this?"
He turned his accusatory gaze to Naruto and his frown deepened.
"No!" Hinata waved her hands in front of her. "H-He didn't do it. I f-fell over and he brought me back home."
"...I see," he said. "In any case, come with me. You must freshen up. Lord Hiashi has asked that you take your lunch with him today."
Hinata gulped but fell in step with him. She looked back. Naruto stood at the start of the footpath and offered her a resolute nod. She nodded back, a foreign solidness fuelling the action.
She clenched her fist and took one step forwards, and then another, until the reception hall was the only thing she could see.