The haze had been present for just over a week now. By the time Qin Huai set out, most transportation had already stopped. Initially, driving himself was manageable, but later, some highways were closed. Qin Huai had no choice but to keep taking detours. What would normally be a two-hour flight took him over a week to cover. Although he wasn't really hungry on the way, he only had bread and crackers. Having not eaten anything warm for such a long time, he finished the bowl of noodles quickly, drinking up every last bit of the soup.
Mu Nan, who had been looking at his phone, spoke up as Qin Huai put down the bowl: "There's more in the kitchen."
Qin Huai replied, "That's enough. It's too late to eat too much."
Seeing that Qin Huai wasn't going to eat more, Mu Nan didn't say anything further. Even though he had been searching for Qin Huai since his rebirth, now that Qin Huai was right in front of him, he didn't know how to react. After so many years of separation, if it were the same time in his past life, his first reaction upon seeing Qin Huai might have been to cry or to scold him. But more than anything, he would have felt immense joy and closeness, rather than the awkward silence and uncertainty he felt now.
Things were different now. Having lived through a lifetime and experienced death, some feelings were suppressed so deeply that they were not easily released.
Seeing that Mu Nan kept his back turned, Qin Huai decided to sit on the bed and gently turned Mu Nan towards him. "Nan Nan, let's talk."
Mu Nan's fingers instinctively fidgeted with the phone case, and he kept his head down, silent.
Qin Huai asked, "Do you need money?"
Mu Nan looked up at Qin Huai briefly, then quickly turned his head away without answering.
Qin Huai reached out and rubbed Mu Nan's head. The haircut was so short that it lacked the soft fluffiness of the past and felt a bit prickly, but the tangible contact after so many years still brought Qin Huai some comfort. Seeing that Mu Nan didn't resist, Qin Huai's tense heart eased a little. He then said, "Wang Xiaoli told me you were looking for me everywhere. What happened?"
Wang Xiaoli was Qin Huai's class monitor in high school, but their relationship was rather ordinary since Qin Huai had left for abroad before finishing high school. Their contact was limited to a high school group chat. Recently, Wang Xiaoli had sent a message saying that Mu Nan was searching for him everywhere. This prompted Qin Huai to rush back, but he was stranded at the airport due to the dense fog. After anxiously waiting all night, the fog cleared, but it was still hazy. Unable to wait any longer, he drove back himself. By the end of the journey, even gas stations were closed, so he ended up carrying his bag and biking the rest of the way home.
Mu Nan looked at him with a calm expression, but his eyes were a bit red. "If I hadn't looked for you, would you have never come back?"
Qin Huai's gaze darkened. "I said I would definitely come back."
Mu Nan wanted to say, "You also said you wouldn't leave," but he had grown up and no longer took everything for granted as he did when he was young. So, he swallowed the reflexive retort and calmly asked, "If I hadn't looked for you, when would you have planned to come back?"
Qin Huai's eyes showed a hint of struggle. "When I felt that you still needed me."
Mu Nan took a deep breath, his voice cold. "Aren't you afraid that by the time you come back, I might have died somewhere you don't know about? Even if you regret it, you won't get a chance to see me again."
Qin Huai's expression darkened. "Nonsense, don't curse yourself."
Mu Nan pushed Qin Huai away and turned his back to him, lying down. He couldn't help but feel aggrieved. What did it mean to need him? He had always needed him from childhood to now.
Qin Huai watched him for a while and realized that this was not something that could be resolved quickly. He grabbed a blanket and covered Mu Nan. "It's too late, get some sleep. I'll go to my place now. This time, I won't leave again. If there's anything, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Nan Nan, no matter what happens, this time, unless you don't want me and force me to leave, I absolutely won't leave again."
Mu Nan ignored him but listened as Qin Huai got up, put on his slippers, and thoughtfully turned off the lights before leaving.
However, when Qin Huai returned to his own home, he was completely stunned. One room was filled with furniture, another with plant pots, and even the living room only had a narrow path cleared for walking. The entire place was turned into a garden, although the vegetables hadn't grown yet, some were already sprouting green shoots. There was even the sound of chickens crowing from the balcony.
Qin Huai couldn't help but laugh and cry at the same time. Only Nan Nan would turn his house into a nursery.
With no other choice, he closed the door and quietly returned to Mu Nan's room. In his own home, even the kitchen was cluttered with things, leaving no space to sleep, except in Mu Nan's place.
Although the room was arranged differently from what he remembered, the person lying next to him was still the one he was familiar with. Exhausted from the journey, Qin Huai quickly fell asleep.
The curtains were drawn, making the room pitch dark, but once his eyes adjusted, he could vaguely make out the silhouette of the person next to him. Qin Huai slept soundly, likely because of his exhaustion. Unlike when he was a child and never snored, he was now snoring softly.
Mu Nan moved closer to Qin Huai, his hand under the blanket quietly gripping the edge of Qin Huai's shirt.
Mu Nan wasn't sure when he fell asleep, his mind occupied with how to tell Qin Huai about the future. He knew he couldn't mention his rebirth, but he could talk about the space. Despite being apart for so long, the estrangement from the years of separation did not diminish his trust in Qin Huai. Trusting Qin Huai was like trusting himself. As he thought, Mu Nan gradually fell asleep, only to be pulled into a terrifying dream. In the dream, he was back in his previous life, cornered by a group of thugs in a room.
Even though there were knives in his space, facing a group of people, including two with crossbows, he was alone with just a kitchen knife. It was clear that resisting was futile. He told them he didn't want anything and that they could take whatever they wanted. They found a few bottles of water and half a corn cake in his room. Whether they thought it was too little or just hadn't intended to let him go, during the fight, he didn't even feel the knife wound until they suddenly kicked him away and fled, leaving him with a painful, bleeding wound he couldn't stop.
Mu Nan jolted awake from the nightmare, the suffocation and fear from his death still clinging to him, especially the throbbing pain from where he had been stabbed.
As soon as Mu Nan moved, Qin Huai woke up. Feeling the sweat-soaked person next to him, he quickly got up and turned on the light. Seeing Mu Nan's pale face drenched in cold sweat, clutching his stomach, he immediately became anxious. "What's wrong, Nan Nan? Did you have a nightmare or are you feeling unwell? Does your stomach hurt?"
Mu Nan took a moment to recover from the nightmare, his sweat-sticky body feeling uncomfortable. He shook his head at Qin Huai, his voice weak. "I'm fine, just had a nightmare. I'm going to take a shower."
Seeing Mu Nan's shaky steps as he entered the bathroom, Qin Huai stood by the door, calling out every so often to make sure he was okay.
After Mu Nan finished his shower, his head still throbbing from the shock of the dream, he glanced at Qin Huai's tired expression. "Go to sleep, it's okay now."
Seeing Mu Nan lie down, Qin Huai moved closer and touched his cold palm. "What happened? Why are you so scared from a nightmare?" He also reached out to touch Mu Nan's stomach, noticing that he had clutched it for a while after waking from the nightmare.
Lying in bed, Mu Nan was silent for a while before speaking up, "Do you believe in the apocalypse?"
If Mu Nan had asked this question in the past, Qin Huai would have thought he had just been inspired by something he read or saw. But seeing how terrified Mu Nan was from the nightmare earlier, and remembering how Mu Nan had been searching for him everywhere and had even exhausted the money he had deposited into his account, Qin Huai's heart started to race with worry. "Nan Nan, why are you asking this? What happened?"
Mu Nan had already prepared what he wanted to say during the silence. He never considered hiding the existence of the space, and it was impossible to keep the stockpiling of supplies from Qin Huai. Everything needed to have a reason: "About three months ago, I started having nightmares. I dreamt about the heavy rain from not long ago, about the dense fog, and the haze. There were many other disasters too. I don't know if they will all come true, but some have already started to, and the dreams were so vivid that I can't dismiss them as mere dreams."
The person he trusted the most in this world was Qin Huai. From the moment he was born and lying in the incubator at the hospital, Qin Huai had been by his side. Before he even started kindergarten, he was almost always with Qin Huai. Whether it was Qin Huai coming over to his house to sleep or him going to Qin Huai's house, he had to be with Qin Huai; otherwise, he would cry and make a fuss.
Though they had grown up and this intense need to be together had diminished, they still spent nearly every day together. From Qin Huai doing homework while he played beside him, to him doing homework with Qin Huai helping him, Qin Huai had never been absent from his life before the day they separated at fifteen. This trust was deeper than even blood relations. If he couldn't trust Qin Huai, then to him, tomorrow would lose all meaning.
However, rebirth had nothing to do with trust. The implications of rebirth were too heavy, and he didn't want Qin Huai to bear anything he shouldn't in this lifetime.
Qin Huai's voice was serious. "So this haze will lead to an epidemic that will kill many people, and after the haze, there will be severe cold, scorching heat, earthquakes, droughts, and various other disasters?"
Mu Nan nodded. Qin Huai placed his hand on Mu Nan's head. "I believe you. Whatever you say, I believe it." Moreover, Mu Nan's condition couldn't deceive him. Even after years apart, his understanding of Mu Nan had never faltered. Even though this sounded a bit unbelievable, he still chose to trust without hesitation.
Qin Huai pulled Mu Nan into his embrace and laid him down. "Stay with me a bit longer. If the sky falls, it will be after we wake up. Don't be afraid. No matter what disasters come in the future, I will be with you and will never leave again."
Mu Nan turned to face away from Qin Huai and mumbled softly, "Liar."
Qin Huai smiled and said, "I won't lie to you anymore. I swear."