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Chapter 34 - When life gives you lemons...

Finally, at last, the last chamber we decided to have a little fun while we are not in imminent danger from Wheatley. Chell and the turrets decided to have fun with the different kinds of Gels, and so they asked for my Tool Gun. Meanwhile, I was stuck with GLaDOS for the time being, so I decided to hang out with her away from the others, mostly so I could talk with her alone without anyone interrupting us.

Jack: "So what are your plans after this whole thing is over? Would you like to do something specific?"

GLaDOS: "Where is this coming from? I assure you, you don't need to walk on eggshells with me. Just spit it out. What do you really want to talk about? You wouldn't have brought me all the way up here if you didn't need anything from me."

Jack: "Look, I don't need anything from you. I just wanted to talk to you since I feel you are getting left out quite a bit from everything, given you are a potato and the others don't really like you."

GLaDOS: "You don't have to worry about such childish things. I am perfectly fine; I was built to handle stress and increased workloads."

I just took a sip of water from a bottle that I keep in the vault as supplies. I looked at her with all the sternness that I could muster out of myself and spoke with a grave tone: "That may be true, but Caroline wasn't."

She just looked at me with shock and disbelief clearly reflecting from her eye. I spoke up before she could come up with an excuse or lie: "Don't be so surprised. It took me a while, but after every piece of the puzzle came to me, I just had to put it together. First of all, your name, GLaDOS. On your body, your name was written as an acronym. It's very common to name a company or even a machine based on its components, functions, or even use. I used it as well for many of my past and most likely future projects. Your name is clearly made up of two distinct expressions. This is indicated by the lowercase 'a' in it, most likely an 'and' to put the two words together. The latter half is obviously based on 'Operating System' as 'OS,' and the really old computers gave me a hint to the full picture since they are so ancient that they are still using Disk Operating System. The first word now, that was more tricky, but after Chell mentioned that her supposed dad worked in the Biological Research Department, now I am not so naïve to think that such a shady company would only use this department for plant-based research like she seems to think. No, I believe it is much more likely they are testing different things on animals or even humans. It would be a completely reasonable assumption from there on that everything biologically related to humans would be co-developed there. Here comes a bit of a reach from me: you are too special. No other machine here is as intelligent or complex as you are. You are much more like a human in these aspects than any machine that I have ever seen. So you are most likely a scan or copy of someone's real brain structure. This would certainly be indicated in your name, hence the first part being something like Genetic Lifeform or Guided Logic."

GLaDOS turned a lot more serious in her tone as she spoke: "While that may be true, it is still quite a reach, and it's in no way an explanation for why in the world I would be that woman, Caroline, and not some other high-ranking scientist or engineer."

Jack: "The two things don't have to contradict each other. Cave did mention that Caroline is running this whole place in his stead. That sounds like more than a simple pretty assistant to me. But if you want to play hard to get, I will just say it outright: you were acting pretty weird after her name was brought up, and the whole thing that Snappy said about not protecting you but someone else pretty much gave you away."

GLaDOS: "You are wrong! Even I don't know who I am! How could I be that woman? I am supposed to be the best. If I was not even someone phenomenal before becoming this amalgamation, then was I wrong this whole time?"

Jack: "Hey, hey, don't belittle yourself! Even if you were just a regular woman, which I highly doubt, there is still nothing wrong with it. Besides, after your transformation, you are just you. Caroline is just a part of you, but that doesn't have to define who you will be in the future."

GLaDOS: "Thank you... I honestly can't tell which part of me is Caroline and which is just simulated programming, and that really scared me. When I finally saw that painting inside that office, I felt something resonating inside me when I saw the faces of them. Cave gave me a really mixed feeling, like a part of me loves and hates him equally, and the woman... she filled me with regret and sorrow, but I couldn't say why."

Jack: "Well, I have an idea of why that may have happened. It's pretty much connected to the other mystery that we haven't figured out yet. I was pretty shocked and scared when I found out. Actually, it's the main reason I wanted to break your façade and speak truthfully."

GLaDOS: "You don't mean! No, that can't be! That is impossible, the timelines don't match up!"

Jack: "GLaDOS, calm down. You will short-circuit yourself if you continue!"

GLaDOS: "Right, stay cool, calm, and collected. No problem. Just say it already; I am ready!"

Jack: "No, you're not, but no matter, this has to be said. I managed to get some files off the old computer from the office where the picture is. It was nothing of much relevance for us for the most part, but there was a single file that is worth more than any blueprint that I could have found. It was an old uncatalogued personnel report about the active members of Aperture personnel, and amongst them, there was a simple report about a newborn, a sickly baby called Chell Johnson, the daughter of the CEO Cave Johnson and the Head of the Theoretical Physics Department, Caroline Johnson. This is dated back to 1962. This means Chell was frozen for a lot longer than she knew, and I think you understand the more serious implication."

GLaDOS: "She-she is... She is m-my daughter? I-I did so much, hurt her so much. What am I supposed to do? No, no, no! This is obviously false! She can't be my... she can't be my anything! If she was, then that means I..."

With that, GLaDOS promptly shut down. I could only sigh and mutter: "Huh, that went better than I expected. At least she isn't completely in denial. Now I just have to explain this to Chell somehow. God, this will be a nightmare."

Cough~ Cough~

"Not necessarily. Um, hi, we didn't want to spy on you; we just got curious." I quickly turned around only to see the rest of the group we supposedly left behind so we could speak in private, standing not too far from us. It was Snappy who called out to me, as it seems she is the only one of the three who was not really shocked about the news. She was more relieved than anything else. Chell was currently on her knees, throwing up, and Sparky was just rubbing her back in support, but from the look on her face, she was obviously really rattled by the revelation.

"Well, I guess we don't have to go through this whole song and dance again for a while. Hey Chell, do you think you need some time or food or anything, really? I can give you almost anything as long as it's something basic." I honestly didn't know how I could even begin to calm her down. Her situation is like mine was with my mom and Wilhelm, but like a hundred times worse. She got her mom back, but now that person is not entirely her, and she was also the one who killed the people she believed to be her real parents. So yeah, her situation could be straight out of a comic or movie plot.

Chell eventually managed to reply to me weakly after she stopped dry heaving: "Cough~ Cough~ Yes, water please."

I helped her to her feet and kept her balanced while she drank the water. "You know, we can talk about it later if that would make you feel better. But know this: just because she's a remnant of your mother, you're not obligated to love her or even like her. Don't torment yourself with 'what ifs'. You can't change the past, but you can certainly look forward to a better future." I tried to give her something she could hold onto, just like others helped me when I was lost.

Chell: "Yeah, I guess you're right. Just let's get out of here. I'm getting sick of these old, rusty relics of the past. Oh, and GLaDOS, I honestly don't know how to feel about you yet, but don't pretend you're still knocked out. I saw your eye light up when Jack talked about you."

GLaDOS: "Well, looks like I got caught. How embarrassing. Look, I don't know what to feel about you either. I'm really conflicted about all of this. Ever since I was put into this potato, my memories and feelings started reappearing. This is very new to me, and I don't like it. It makes me feel weak and pathetic."

Jack: "Well then, a little change of plans is in order. I think it would be a horrible idea to put GLaDOS back in control, not because she couldn't handle it, but because her chassis was most likely designed to suppress her emotions, to make her more test-oriented and somewhat neutral. So, we'll make a detour on our way up and put GLaDOS back in her old core, so she won't melt down and can possibly hack into some of the machinery of Aperture, like Wheatley did. Wait—wait, before you shoot down my idea, because both of you are scared about the change in your relationship, don't squander this chance to get to know each other better. It's possible you'll still hate each other in the end, but at least you tried. It's better than wondering what could have been."

Chell: "All right, GLaDOS—or I guess, Mom—I'll try to give this thing a shot, but it's only one chance. If you mess it up, there's no second try. Ugh... It feels so wrong to call you that for some reason."

GLaDOS: "I agree to your terms, and the change in plans. I would like to try being more human for a bit. And yes, I also agree that you shouldn't call me 'Mom.' It creeps me out."

With that, I could see the happiness in both their eyes, even in Snappy's. Only Sparky seemed to have some problems with this whole thing, but she was more confused than angry, so I didn't address it for now. Since we were already behind schedule, I just flew up to the platform where the exit door was located and coated the wall with Conversion Gel so Chell could portal up directly without having to do the stupid puzzle.

We were almost out of the chamber when I suddenly remembered something and turned back. I ran to the observation booth to check its computer, as it was the newest one we would ever find connected directly to the old database of the lab. Since it was in a covered place, I guessed nothing significant should have damaged it.

Before I could enter, however, I heard the familiar voice of Chell's moronic dad, Cave Johnson. What I didn't know at the time was that this would be the last time any of us ever heard him. I could see that both GLaDOS and Chell were really uncomfortable, so I went toward them and hugged them both—or at least tried to. It was a bit difficult, mainly because of GLaDOS's, let's say, unique situation.

Announcer system: "All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?' Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! The point is: if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So, I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this—and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now, she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her. Hell, put her in my computer. I don't care. All right, test's over. You can head on back to your desk."

The initial chuckles died down as we kept listening to his rant. I could see clearly now that once again, GLaDOS's situation was, like most things, Cave's fault. Chell was especially pissed about it, and GLaDOS was just silent, her initial enthusiasm about his words now gone. I went into the observation office and began to download every usable patent, plan, and manufacturing process. The most recent file was branded with a now familiar code name: Project G.L.a.D.O.S.

It contained the entire developmental process, but the best-documented part was the brain mapping and the uploading of a person's consciousness into cyberspace. The final file was a surprise to me—it was more like a goodbye letter than any documentation. It was a song made by Caroline and written specifically for Chell. It was dated back to 1986, the day of Caroline's mind upload into GLaDOS.

I thought it would be a fitting end and goodbye to this place if I played this song as the last thing we heard from the speaker system as we left. So, I hooked up the final recording to the speaker system and projected a live translation of the lyrics and the name of the file onto the dome in front of us.

When I stepped out, the turrets rushed at me, asking what I found. I just shushed them and turned toward the moping pair of newly united family members. I quickly shouted: "Hey, I found something really important. It'll start soon, so just look at the opposite wall of the dome."

Before either of them could ask what it was, the projection started, and at the same time, the speakers began playing the song that no one had ever heard before:

1986_Goodbye_my_little_princess.mp3

Cara bella, cara mia bella! (Beautiful dear, my darling beauty!)

Mia bambina, oh ciel! (My little girl, oh heaven!)

Che la stima! Che la stima! (How I adore you! How I adore you!)

Oh cara mia, addio! (Oh my dear, farewell!)

La mia bambina cara, (My dear little girl,)

Perché non passi lontana? (Why not go a long way away?)

Sì, lontana da Scienza! (Yes, far from Science!)

Cara, cara mia bambina, (Dear, my beloved little girl,)

Ah, mia bella! (Ah, my beautiful one!)

Ah, mia cara! Ah, mia cara! (Ah, my dear! Ah, my dear!)

Ah, mia bambina! (Ah, my little girl!)

Oh cara, cara mia! (Oh dear, my dear!)

[Instrumental Break]

Mia cara! Ah, mia cara! (My dear! Ah, my dear!)

Ah, mia bambina! (Ah, my little girl!)

Oh cara, cara mia! (Oh dear, my dear!)

When the song ended with the sound of a metal door shutting with force, I understood that Caroline made this song directly before the operation. In her last moments as a human, she was thinking about her daughter. I won't admit it to anyone, but it reminded me of my mom, and I couldn't help but shed some tears. 'I guess a mother's love is always the strongest, no matter the universe. I really hope they both can leave their horrible past behind with this song.'