Chereads / Trials of the Junsui / Chapter 55 - Identity and Dysphoria (1)

Chapter 55 - Identity and Dysphoria (1)

Noah notices the internal struggle Ouran faces, torn between maintaining their identity and the pressures from their leadership and the desire to conform in a way that might make Noah interested in them. Now that Noah understands their true desires, he resolves to insist that Ouran stays true to themselves, no matter what anyone says.

Before he can voice this, however, Ouran's attention shifts, and they say, "Awesome, Tobias agreed to sing! This is gonna be really cool, so pay attention."

Noah follows Ouran's gaze to the stage where a man steps up, holding a microphone. He's got pink skin, blue eyes, orange hair, and a matching beard on the tip of his chin. The man takes a deep breath and begins to sing.

"Good evening, everyone. As many of you know, my name is Tobias. I'm very happy to see all our familiar faces here tonight, and to our new faces, I welcome you and invite you to join in the relaxation as I sing away our brother Jurak's pain. I hope you will find it satisfactory." Tobias's voice is mesmerizing as he begins to sing:

"On the breezy night of the 5th of May,

Jurak found love in a splendid place.

A beauty, yes she was, made his heart sing,

to the stars above, love on the wing.

Liras was a troubled soul,

looked for someone to ease her pain,

yes, that was her goal,

but love him, no it wasn't the same.

Of course, at that time he did not know,

so the story went as the story goes.

They fell in love, married and had kids,

ten long years they worked, they did.

But now she tells him she's going to leave,

a knife through the heart, yes indeed.

Jurak's pain just grows and grows,

where she's gone he does not know.

No worries, no fear, now that he's here,

I've got this song just for him to hear.

Tonight when he goes to sleep,

the last ten years, yes they were all a dream.

He'll wake up refreshed within his bed,

and his heart will be ready to love again."

As Tobias's song fills the room, Noah feels an overwhelming sense of peace and relaxation. His worries, which had been gnawing at him just moments ago, seem to fade away, leaving him in a state of contentment. He turns to Ouran, who is smiling at him knowingly.

"Feels nice, doesn't it?" Ouran asks.

"What happened? Why do I feel like I don't have a care in the world? I feel so at ease and peaceful."

"Tobias happened," Ouran explains. "He's a siren, and that's what they do. They relax people to the point where their troubles fade away, at least for a while. Only those they specifically target will actually forget a memory."

"What do you mean? Forget a memory? How does that work? Is it hypnosis? Siren? But he's-."

"I know your human history says sirens are mermaids who lure sailors to their deaths, but that's not true. Sirens can be mermen too, and they don't exist to kill people. They actually want to help people by making them forget whatever pains or worries they may have. They have the ability to alter memories simply by singing a song like you just heard. For all of us, we'll just feel relaxed as a residual effect, but Jurak was the actual target. As Tobias sang, Jurak really will forget his wife by morning when he wakes."

"Woah, that's kind of heavy, but also very convenient. It must be wonderful to be able to forget pain like that so easily." Noah finds himself thinking about his own troubles, wondering if he would be willing to forget.

Ouran sees him deep in thought, understanding exactly what he's contemplating. "I'd advise against it," Ouran says gently. "Yes, you'd forget the pain of losing your family, but you'd also lose all the precious memories you had with them. You want to forget that one night, but do you really want to forget they ever existed? As great as a siren's power can be, it can also be very damaging. To forget that one night, you'd have to forget you ever had your family at all. You'd lose all your memories of them, and anything connected to them. They can't pick and choose what stays and goes. It's like wiping your system of the entire 'family' program—you have to remove it all, not just bits and pieces. The first twelve years of your life would just be a huge hole of nothing since your family was with you all those years. You'd forget about Rachel too since she was a part of that timeline as well. It'd be like meeting her here would've meant nothing to you because you wouldn't know her. So I suppose in that aspect, it might be worth it for you since it seems like she's a memory you'd be happy to forget if you could. But Noah, all magic, powers, or whatever—there's always a price. Remember that."

Noah contemplates Ouran's words, wondering if he could truly be happy if he chose to forget everything about his family and the pain that came with those memories. But before he can dwell too long on the thought, Sheila arrives with their food.

"Alright, you two, here we are. For you, Ouran, your usual meat pie and ale. And for you, Noah, I've got raw prime BEEF sirloin with mash and freshly donated blood from the local bank. Please enjoy."

They thank her and begin to eat. Noah had been devastated about consuming human flesh for a while and resisted the urge to eat anything that reminded him of that night. However, as Ouran had pointed out, he couldn't be satisfied with animal meat and blood anymore, and he began to get sick. Eventually, they figured out a compromise. It turned out that eating raw beef and drinking ample human blood was enough to sustain him. Though he hated the idea of drinking the blood of humans who had been killed, he accepted blood from the local blood bank, typically reserved for the Vampir, as a solution.

He still despises the practice of using humans born from Bakemon as livestock for their personal supply of human meat, but he's come to understand that his human morality doesn't hold much weight here. He constantly reminds himself that the beings in this city aren't truly human, and therefore their morals differ greatly. Noah can't deny that he's felt the pull of his beastly side since he started visiting Tourer Kenai. Sometimes, he has to actively stop himself from desiring the flesh of the academy students, which is why he's been isolating himself. He knows he'll have to confront these feelings sooner or later, but for now, he's just trying to get by. As long as he gets his weekly fix here with Ouran, he believes he can keep things under control—or at least, that's what he hopes.