"What a jerk! You'll be much better off without him, Lili, so don't cry over him, okay?" Mai looks down at Lili, who seems absolutely devastated, and she instantly feels her heart tighten in remorse. "Lili, I—"
"It's okay, Mai, I forgive you. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, so you don't have to apologize. It's okay."
"No, it's not. I should've never said such hurtful things about you. I'll do anything to make it up to you."
"Then kiss me." Her tone is cold and lifeless, lacking her usual enthusiasm and flair.
Mai's eyes go wide in surprise. "What? What are you saying, Lili? Why would I—?"
Lili shifts her position so that she's on her knees, facing Mai, putting her face closer to hers. "I said kiss me. You said you'd do anything, right? So I'm asking you to kiss me, please. I need you."
When Mai doesn't move, Lili moves to place her lips on Mai's, but coming to her senses, Mai stops her.
"Lili, stop this. You're obviously distraught right now and looking for comfort in inappropriate ways."
"Inappropriate, to who? What's wrong with a girl kissing another girl? It's just a kiss. It's just sex. It's not like it means anything anyway. So don't worry about what's right or wrong; it's purely physical."
Mai looks at her friend in sadness, into the void of her emotionless eyes. She's always had a feeling, but now she can clearly see that Lili's long history of sexual abuse has destroyed her and any concept of love she may have once had. She sees physical and sexual contact as just things to be enjoyed and not as deep, personal expressions of love like Mai does, or at least aspires to experience—but not like this.
"No, that's not right, Lili, not at all. You're not thinking clearly right now. You just want to find comfort, and for you, that means offering yourself to whoever is around that you trust. It was Noah, now it's me."
"Well, that's what I do; it's all I'm good for. This—sex—is the only thing I know how to do and do well. I've got nothing else to offer since I'm so weak and bothersome. I'm just a worthless piece of trash."
"Enough of this! Stop talking down to yourself! You are very special, Lili. You're amazing, and I'm gonna make sure you always know it. For now, though, let's get you to bed." They get up and make their way to their bedroom. Once there, Lili begs Mai to lie with her, and she obliges, seeing no harm in that.
"This means something more to you, doesn't it? Lying here with me? I mean more to you, don't I?"
Mai is caught off guard, but she manages to stutter out a response. "I… I don't know. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about you, but I think I need to think about it. For now, I don't know." She really doesn't understand her feelings for Lili, but she wishes she'd find out soon.
~
"Ugh!!!!!! That stupid, freaking jerk! I hate him and his stupid gray hair and eyes that pierce my soul. I hate his arms and abs that are so perfectly toned he could be sculpted. I hate his athletic build that he has without even trying. Oh, and that stupid, cheeky grin and laugh and—and…ugh, I hate him!" Nik smashes things around the room, turning it into a space of complete and utter chaos before finally settling down on his bed. "He's such an ass. Does he even consider other people's feelings? How could he say something like that to me? He pissed me off so much he made me lie and say things I didn't mean at all. I'd do anything for him without a second thought because we're friends. But now he hates me and thinks I hate him. I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do, Gunther! You're my best friend, so please…"
Gunther can see tears welling up in Nik's eyes, catching in his pillow as they fall. He's seen him cry like this many times over the last four years, every time he's used and dumped by a guy he believed was "the one." He's only ever shown this side of him to Gunther, which is why they truly are best friends; he knows him better than anyone else, even himself.
Knowing him so well, Gunther raises his eyebrow in intrigue and then, in a tone of disbelief, says, "Nik, dude…do you like Noah?" Nik blushes and turns his head into his pillow with a grunt. "No way, you seriously like him in that way? Are you like…in love with him?" Gunther's mind is in chaos.
Nik groans into his pillow and, in a muffled tone, responds, "Stop saying that already, it's embarrassing."
"Since when? I mean, when we all first met, you said that you weren't into either of us. You said he wasn't even your type. So how is it that you suddenly like him now? Is that how it works?"
"Ugh, Gunther, come on, use your brain, man! Obviously, I was lying. He's exactly my type. I didn't even know I had a type until I met him. It's tall, lonesome, and emotionless, apparently. It's because I like him that I'd ever put up with his boring ass. It's just that I know he would never feel the same way, so I've never made any advances. He'd never take me seriously anyway and just call me a gay loser, thinking I was playing around. It's pretty clear he's only into girls with what he does with Lili—I seriously envy her. Though sometimes I wonder if he even really likes girls outside of Lili because I've literally never seen him show an interest in ANY girls, let alone guys. I swear I'm half convinced he's completely asexual and may never love anyone. I'm not so sure he even can. Maybe that's why he and Lili could do that together so easily; neither of them knows what it means to love and aren't interested in it at all."
Gunther never would've imagined he'd be hearing such a revelation, but he tries to support Nik in the best way he can. "Well, I'm sorry for what happened, but I believe in your friendship with Noah, so I'm sure he'll come back. When he does, even if he won't love you like you love him, at least you can still be friends. That's what's most important, right?" He's not sure he's convinced himself, let alone Nik. Nik simply groans again and continues to sulk in his pillow. He hates how out of control Noah makes him feel. That chaos in his heart is the one and only thing he can't control, and it burns him to the core.
~
Noah sprints down the hall and down the corridor that leads to the main stairwell. Their living sector is big and personalized for their use only; therefore, it's on the basement level of the academy, along with their main training sector. You could say they have that entire floor exclusively to themselves, as only those with special clearance have access. This means they can't have visitors unless they bring them down themselves, though Tahno frowns upon that, so no one does it—not that they have friends anyway.
He quickly and quietly makes his way up the stairs and sneaks down the corridor of the first floor that leads out back. The door is always unlocked, so this is a spot he tends to come to a lot, especially if he needs space to be alone or think. As he makes it outside, the building nausea he'd been feeling over the last hour or so finally overtakes him, and he vomits his entire dinner up.
Once he has nothing left, he sits against a wall and tries to breathe in the fresh air to settle his stomach. It helps, but he still feels queasy. He wonders if maybe all that commotion stressed him out so much that it made him sick, or maybe it was the food he ate. Or maybe it was that cranberry juice from earlier—it's the one thing he had today that he'd never had before. However, just as he thinks of the cranberry juice, he feels an overwhelming hunger pang take over, and he wishes he had some right now. "Ugh, why…?"
"My, it's happening faster than I thought. You really were deprived, weren't you, Helios?"
Noah looks up to see a familiar shadow. "Ouran? What are you doing out here?"
"The one and only, and I was looking for you, silly. I've come to finish our conversation from earlier. I told you I would find you when the time was right, didn't I? Well, the time is right now. But first… it looks like you need to eat and quickly too." Ouran holds out their hand. "Come with me; I'll help you."
Noah looks at their hand with hesitation. "How do I know I can even trust you and that you're not going to take me somewhere deserted to kill me? Besides, where would we go? We can't leave the academy."
"Oh please, Helios, as if you'd die so easily. And I'm not interested in killing you."
Noah finds himself hesitant, but at the same time, he thinks they can be trusted—at least for now. "Okay, I'll go with you, but just know I still don't trust you completely."
"That's fine; you will soon enough. For now, let us go—take a trip down the rabbit hole."