48
I was still in disbelief about what dad said.
'Dad what did you say?' I asked.
There was a big smile on his face. A smile that was creepy in all ways. He looked like a psychopath from those horror movies.
And suddenly there was a bright flash of light that blinded me.
When I opened my eyes, the scenery around me had changed again.
I was in a black space as if I have come out into outer space with darkness all around me. And I was standing on a white surface which was pure white. White as snow.
'What's happening? How did I get here from my house? Is this the moon's surface beneath my feet?' I thought to myself.
'It looks like the moon but actually it is not,' said a voice from behind.
I immediately turned back and I saw a man standing in front of me. I tried to have a look at his face and I received the shock of my life.
His hair was as white as my grandpa's, his eyes were as red as ruby and his face and all the other features were exactly like mine. It was as if I had painted my hair white and worn some red lenses. He was my doppelganger.
'Who are you?' I asked.
'I am your other self,' he answered.
I didn't understand what he meant. 'What do you mean by my other self?' I asked.
'I am your inner voice. All humans have inner voices but these voices rarely take a physical form. You are definitely a very rare case,' he said.
Inner voice. Where had I heard this before? Immediately I recalled.
'Wasn't this the pattern with Ethan, my dad and Ivan? They heard their inner voices,' I thought to myself.
'You are absolutely correct Adam. I have the same origin as that of the other inner voices you know of.'
I didn't understand what was happening. 'Why and how am I talking with my inner voice? What exactly do you want? And what happened to dad, to Alex?' I asked him.
'That was just a dream created by me to make you see the truth,' he said.
I was now more confused than ever. It was all a dream. So Alex never disappeared in reality?
'That's correct Adam. It was all a dream.'
'But why show me that nonsense dream?' I asked him.
'Don't you already know the answer? It was all in order to guide you to the right path,' he said.
'Nobody knows for sure what your future holds. But the fear that you have created for yourself, that has become your shackles. You believe too much in the contract that you are forgetting that everything happens by the will of the Gods. If they want, they can still make your life miserable even if you remained ignorant.'
'Tell me. When you signed the contract, did they ever ask you to not look into the truth? Did they ask you to keep quiet? While you were looking into the truth and conversing with Ethan and Kelvin about the past, did the Gods harm you?'
'No. Not at all. It's your own fears that have entangled you. These nightmares are a consequence of it. Your fear of losing Irena has made you blind that whenever she gets involved you leave the logic in your pocket and just do what a weak human does. Cling to the safest route. But is that route of not doing anything really safe? What's the guarantee that gods will not harm you or your loved ones if you chose to be ignorant?'
'But that's the rules in the contract. How can they nullify it?' I countered him.
'Gods are gods. Your life is nothing to them. They do as they wish. If their will falls in your favor, then it's good else you are doomed.'
'It's your choice now. Will you sit back and live the rest of your life in fear of losing Irena or will you seek the truth and fight till the end? And I know that you still think about them. Don't you?'
He was absolutely correct. I had never once forgotten Seth and Charlie. What had become of them? Where were they? Were they dead or alive? I wanted answers. I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to find Seth and Charlie again. This dream about Alex really opened my eyes. I wanted to know what really happened. I made my choice.
'I'll seek the truth. I'll not waver this time and I will get to the root cause of the twisted realities that I had been a part of,' I said to him.
'That's good to hear'.
'It seems then my purpose of meeting you is met. And now I'll have to leave. If you do end up finding the truth of your life, then we shall meet again Adam. Till then take care,' he said.
Suddenly there was another flash of light.
And now when I opened my eyes I was back in my room. It was 9 a.m. now and everything was the same. My reality still remained the same.
I checked for Alex and he had left for his classes. His room was now the same as I saw yesterday. I felt relieved.
That hell of a dream really woke me up. I was now more determined than ever to seek the truth, to know what happened to Seth and Charlie.
49
I restarted my quest.
I felt that I was very different from Ethan and dad even though all of us had signed the same contract to become God's apostles.
But there were still some other suspects that I had to enquire about. The people I knew who had died in the past lives.
They were: Irena, her father Ivan and lastly Ethan's parents.
Apart from Ivan, I approached the rest of them in a similar fashion as dad and Ethan.
Ivan was the person who would become my father in law in future. And even though I was adamant to get answers but Irena was equally important to me.
Until we were married I couldn't afford any mishaps. So I chose not to bother with him for some time.
I decided to test my theory on Irena and Ethan's parents.
I send similar text messages about their previous lives from the unknown number to see their reactions.
The result was as expected.
All of them blocked my number and never reverted back. 2 months have passed since I had messaged them but they still haven't come back to check on me.
This only meant one possibility.
They didn't care about the details I mentioned to them. They don't care whether these get released to the world because they only saw me as a spammer which is quite common in these days. They do not have any memory of their past lives.
The memories they had were only of the present. This meant that none of them had signed the contract at all. Otherwise, like us, they should also have memories of their past.
On the other hand, I also tried to understand the meaning of the words "Live a fulfilled life."
For a person, a fulfilled life means a life with absolute happiness. In his lifetime a person's happiness not just comes from his own deeds but in many ways he is also affected by the people he holds dear.
Say a father was promised a fulfilled life but in the future, if his child suffers then that suffering becomes a part of his own. This cannot be called a fulfilled life.
Using this reason also, I was able to eliminate Ethan's parents from the list of suspects of signing the contract.
Had they signed the contract then Ethan would have never become a murderer. He would have lived a normal life free from poverty. But that was not the case.
This meant 2 possibilities. Either they were never offered a contract or they chose to serve for their sins in hell.
From Ethan's story, I remembered that his dad had killed his mom and he was then killed by Ethan. I was a bit confident that none of them were offered the contract in the first place. I also believed that his parents were like normal humans. After suffering years of poverty, if they were offered a contract as a way out, it is very difficult to believe that rejected the offer and chose to go to hell.
So I moved ahead with the belief that they were not offered the contract in the first place. This is where came in the 2nd assumption. The contract could only be offered to people who had committed suicide or in other words people who chose to end their lives on their own.
This was true for me, Ethan and my dad. I believed the same was true for Ivan as well but I was yet to investigate him.
This all led to my final assumption. The point of significance for this whole investigation.
There was the involvement of an external party. An external force that influenced our lives to ultimately make us commit suicide.
50
I finally put my thoughts together.
My dad, Ethan and Ivan, all had two things in common. They were able to hear an external voice which they called their inner voice.
The same voice that led them to their demise.
The second was that all of them were murderers. Sinners. Who should have served in hell no matter what happened.
But I was very different from them.
I never heard any inner voice till a few months back.
I had memories of not just my past life but also that of the other three.
But if I never had seen their memories, then, I never would have died in the first place.
Again I thought that the lives of these three were very similar. They did sins. They then died of their own free will. And then they were offered a way out to escape their sins.
But what about me?
If I was like all the other humans, then naturally my memories should have been altered. Altered, so as to suit the new lives of the people who signed the contract. Nobody apart from me is aware of their past sins.
For example, Ethan didn't remember Seth and Charlie as his friends. His memory only recalled them from his past life when he was a murderer. They were just his classmates. Nothing more. His memory had been altered to match my time reversal. To match my reality where both of them did not exist, he totally forgot that they were his good friends for nearly three years.
But I on the other hand retained everything. It was these memories which eventually led me to my doom.
I had a thought that if I was not able to retain my memories then when I came back to life the first time after the fall from the hill, I should have never remembered Irena. The same way she forgot about me.
If that were to happen then I would have had never bothered as to what Irena did and to whom she got engaged. I would have lived a simple and happy life in her absence as well.
But this was never the case.
This meant that someone intentionally wanted me to retain these memories and then go into depression. It happened exactly as they wanted and finally, I died. And then I was offered the contract like others. A contract too lucrative to be declined.
Who was getting benefit from this?
Only one organization's name came to my mind.
The same people who offered us the contract.
The apostles of the God of Death.
All of these phenomena were so supernatural that it didn't make any sense that normal humans would be capable of any of them. But if the God of Death was himself involved then all of it would make a lot more sense.
But again I was stuck at the thought that why was I shown Ethan's memories? They served no benefit to anybody.
Just seeing the memories after my fall would have resulted in the same consequence. I would have still missed Irena and again would have died. Then why was I shown Ethan's memories? For a bigger part of my college, I believed that his memories were just a dream. What was the purpose they served?
Was that a mistake on their part? Or was it intentional?
I was confused.
I was a movie buff. I had seen so many sci-fi movies that a weird thought popped up in my mind. It was totally absurd with no way to prove but I didn't have any other clues.
The next few days proved that my thought was not weird anymore. Rather it was the real truth of my life. And no matter how much weird it sounds the thought that I had was:
'Maybe I have some sort of supernatural powers. Maybe my involvement in the past is a lot more than I originally anticipated.'
But it was such an absurd thought. Humans having supernatural powers. What a piece of crap. I immediately dismissed this idea. Guess all these events were really taking a toll on my mind. My imagination was just running wild.
But later I found out that it was not all pointless. Destiny had other plans for me.
51
January 2023:
A few months have passed by.
My relationship with Irena was going perfectly. At times she visited Arcvale and on others, I went to Rille. We even took a few trips together and I can proudly say that we are happily in love.
But I was still stuck with my investigation. I had established that there was some external force in play but beyond that, I was not able to find any leads.
I tried to search for Seth and Charlie but again there were no clues about them.
It's been 2 years now since the two of them just vanished out of thin air. Nobody recalls them.
All the evidence like past messages, their records on official documents, their addresses etc. has just ceased to exist. There was no clue which I could use to carry the investigation forward.
But then an incident occurred. The incident that became the trigger.
* * *
My maternal grandfather expired at the age of 88.
He was a good man. He loved us a lot and we in turn loved him. But for the past year, his health was declining. He had become weak and now he was sick most of the time.
We expected his loss so we were still able to endure it. Mom cried a lot on her father's death and the three of us consoled her. His funeral took place for a few days and now we were back at our home.
I was lying in my bed.
Naturally, the thoughts of grandpa surrounded my mind. He was a very gentle soul. I kept thinking about him and fell asleep.
I then opened my eyes and again I was back. Back in the white room. This time I was all alone.
I was surprised beyond belief. Why was I here again? Haven't I already signed the contract? There must be something that I am missing.
Suddenly the screen started showing some visuals. It was the life story of a man named Benjamin.
And coincidentally my grandpa's name was also Benjamin.
I sat on the nearby chair and watched the story.
And as expected it really turned out to be the story of my grandpa. It covered everything from his childhood till death. He lived a pleasant life free of sin and I could see the same.
Then the exit door appeared. I hesitated.
'Would the time again reset if I took this door?' I thought.
My rational mind was confident that nothing should happen now and there was also the promise of the contract. But a lot had happened whenever I had taken this door.
I took a bet and opened the door.
I was back again. Back in my bed at the same date and time.
I immediately checked my phone and saw that everything was the same.
Me and Irena were still dating and even her last message to me was the same. It was just that this time I had gone and come back without any changes in the real world.
I was utterly confused now but a stream of thoughts ran over my mind.
Now was the perfect time for experimentation.
My hypothesis was that I can see the memories of the dead. This was my superpower. The trigger for the power is to think about the dead and their memories should pop up.
And now the only thing that remained was to prove it.
For the first test, I thought about my grandma who died 10 years ago. I thought about her and went to sleep again. But to my surprise this time nothing happened.
The first experiment was a failure. This was unexpected. But I did not lose heart. I was again ready to try my luck.
I again thought about an actor who died a year back and went to sleep.
This time it was successful.
I was again back in the white room and the screen played his life story. I was not interested to see his entire story. But I didn't know how this screen worked.
How should I pause or skip it? I took a deep breath and just thought to skip the story and miraculously the screen stopped playing it and instantly the exit door appeared.
For the first time, I was able to control the elements of the white room. This was a massive achievement. I took the door and came back to my time. Again everything was the same.
But suddenly I felt tired. It was as if my body had lost all of its energy. I just laid down and slept in an instant. It would be better to say that I fainted.