Although it sounded like a joke, Lessin still strode to the library where according to Zabron's text, he was there. She found him inside. But he seemed different that day. He didn't look at her with disgust like he always did. That day, he looked at her with pity. And Lessin couldn't decide what was worse.
"This is a surprise." She said as she too sat down on the bench. "Is everything okay?"
"I'm sorry."
Two words, but too heavy for both of them.
"What are you sorry for?"
"Everything. The words I said, the names I called you, forgive me."
"It's all in the past."
"It was, but someone fished them out again."
Lessin's face creased. "What are you talking about?"
"Look. What happened was huge, but we both chose to move on. I wanted you to be happy, and as you saw, I'm also happy with Bella."
"I know."
"Then why are you _ why did you tell her about us?"
"What?"
It was news to her.
"Lessin, we're grown. We can either choose to hate each other for the rest of our lives, or move on like adults. The baby isn't going to come back."
"Isack, that's his name. Address him by his name"
"Can you stop that? Please?" He was starting to get angry now, bit by bit. "It's already a lot."
"I never told Bella anything about us, so _"
"Well, you told somebody, because I didn't."
Yes, she did. She told Sabrina everything. Could it possibly be?
"Zabron, I never aborted. I had a miscarriage. The day you gave me the names, I was going to tell you that I was ready. I missed my chance and that happened."
"Lessin, you _"
"It killed me, okay? I lost my son, and you hated me. You were disgusted by me. You were the only shoulder I could cry on, but you pushed me away, accusing me of doing something I never did. All this time, I always wondered what it could've been, but I always ended up bawling my eyes because I hated myself too. I blamed myself for what happened."
"It's not easy for me either. Every year on September 20th _"
"I celebrate my son's life. Me too."
"What makes you think it was a boy? It could've been anything."
"I went to see a psychic-medium." She blurted.
And yes, she expected that expression on Zabron's face.
"Since when do you believe in psychics?" Zabron asked.
"Since I lost the only thing that mattered to me. She called his name. She said he was okay, but he was sad because we're fighting."
"Now you don't sound like a Christian."
"But I am. Look; Go be happy with Bella. If you had a fight, go apologize. If you think she's the one, fight for her."
Zabron buried his face in his palms. "She doesn't want to talk to me." He was frustrated. "She's neither picking up my calls nor answering my texts. I know she heard something."
Lessin knew part of it, a huge part of it was her fault. She felt obliged to fix the careless mistake she made.
***