His grip on my arm, however, loosened and I took the opportunity to disentangle myself from him, but before I could step farther from his reach, a palm hit me in the back, paralyzing me for a second or two.
He did not follow up his attack, as if he was intentionally giving me time to recover. When I did, I attacked him with my stick but he managed to block it.
I kept hitting him but he just kept blocking and dodging my every move. I could tell that he was in a dilemma. In my current condition, he was probably afraid that if he weren't careful, just one hit from him would kill me in an instant, and his master would be furious.
By doing just that a dozen more times, he had managed to wear me down until I could no longer breathe. As I tried to grasp for air, my chest tightened. I quickly took several steps back and vomited blood.
"That's enough." Ruan Yanjun stood up.
Gong Meng immediately stepped back and I heard him exhale a deep breath as if he was relieved that it was over.
Ruan Yanjun quickly came over and grabbed me by the arm.
"You must be deranged risking your fragile life just to save your murderer?" he grunted.
"Lord Ruan," I struggled to say. "You interrupted. I win."
His fingers tightened around my arm and I could imagine him clenching his teeth in indignation. "Fine," he grunted and released me.
I lowered my head before him. "Lord Ruan, I thank you for your kindness."
He chuckled.
I approached Han Bao who had withdrawn to the farthest corner of the room. "You hold a secret of the royal family that they'd rather bury with you. It's no longer safe for you to stay here. I suggest you head to the east. There are many Buddhist sects there who will be willing to take you in."
He lowered his head to me. "I will heed Priest Wei's advice. I thank you for your grace, although I am not worthy to receive your kindness. Please accept my utmost apology."
"Go and lead a new life. I hope I will not regret sparing you, and the next time we meet, call me Luo Fan."
He lowered his head again. "I understand."
"Gong Meng," Ruan Yanjun said to his disciple. "Escort Monk Han to Silang Empire and make sure he does not stray. Help him find a place to settle down before you leave him."
"Yes, Master," Gong Meng said and came to get Han Bao. The travel to Silang Empire would take months, but the disciple did not even pause to consider and just did as he was told.
But that's what disciples were expected to do—obey their master's order without complaint. If it were my master who had ordered me, I would have immediately complied too without uttering a single protest.
My master…
I lowered my eyes as I remembered the face of the man who had raised me from childhood, the man I thought I would never see again.
"Shall we go?" Ruan Yanjun's voice was thick with suppressed indignation.
I quickly looked in his direction and realized that we were the only ones left inside the house.
Without saying another word, he turned towards the door.
He was unmistakably frustrated and annoyed with me.
*****
RUAN YANJUN
Inside the carriage, on our way back to the inn, Luo Fan was silent.
I stared at him, had been staring at him for a while already.
He puzzles me. I simply cannot understand how his mind works, how his heart forgives so easily.
Han Bao had poisoned him. He had lost his sight and had been suffering for months for that reason, yet not only had he refused to seek revenge but he had even tried to save the life of his poisoner.
Just thinking about it upset me. He was such a disappointment. I had too many plans for him, but it seemed that we might not get along well.
I disliked self-righteous people. I had thought that after everything that Luo Fan had gotten through, he would soon see through the hidden evil inside human beings and start questioning the teachings of his sect.
But it did not look like such would be happening soon.
He was still adamant to hold on to his chosen path, and it was starting to annoy me.
If he remained this way, I did not think he could be the person that I had envisioned him to be.
He would be nothing but a failure.
My deep contemplating was interrupted by the sound of his cough. He covered his mouth, and when he lowered his hand, I saw blood on his palm and a little more at the side of his mouth.
Although I was still upset with him, I could not remain idle and watch my precious priest suffer.
I pulled out a handkerchief and reached over to wipe the side of his mouth, and then I took his hand and wiped the blood off his palm.
Just like all those times that I had touched him, his stiffening body told me his discomfort, but he did not utter any word of protest. He probably knew his crime and he was afraid he would displease me more.
"Did you take your medicine?" I asked in a low, calm voice.
"I did," he replied softly and weakly. That brief fight from earlier had caused him a lot of damage.
"Take another pill."
He reached inside his bag for the jar of pills. After swallowing one down, he sighed. "The medicine is no longer as effective as before. It's as if the White Vulture has developed a resistance against it."
I tightened my hands until my knuckles turned white.
The only thing that was keeping him alive was losing its effect.
I was on the verge of losing my temper, but when I saw his face and noticed how calm he looked despite death knocking at his doorstep, my anger subsided. I smiled and gently pulled him in my arms instead.
He stiffened but showed no resistance. He probably had no energy to put up a fight.
I smiled again and took full advantage of the situation. His body had lost even more weight, but he still felt good in my arms, and the smell of his hair was immaculate.
"Don't worry about that," I whispered tenderly. "We will find a way."
He did not say a word, but the tension in his body remained. His guard was up, just waiting for me to make a wrong move so he could throw his fist in my face.
I laughed inwardly and stroked his back. "You're tired. Take a rest. The road ahead is bumpy. I'll hold you so you won't fall off the couch."
I did not think that excuse would work on him, but when I looked at him, his eyes were already closed.
His body slowly softened in my embrace. He had fallen asleep so fast.
I watched his face. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, and even more beautiful. Just staring at him had wiped away all my frustration.
I smiled and softly pressed a kiss on his temple.
This foolish priest was lucky to have such a pretty face that was so calming to watch, otherwise, I would have beaten him up earlier.
I still could not understand why I was so enamored by his beauty, to the point that I wanted him for myself.
But he was a priest. I knew that he would never indulge himself to that level of debauchery, so I could only admire him from a distance and touch him a little from time to time.
And so far, I was content. There was no need to get into a complicated relationship. Certainly, all of these would come to pass, and I did not have to worry myself about getting rid of him after I tire of him.