It started as these types of conversations always did, with assurances. Didn't that just make you more worried? In Bree's past life, her mom had always started with assurances when she had conversations with her dad. Assurances and promises, both of which were based on lies as flimsy as her nails when they weren't covered in dried acrylic goop. She wasn't sure if she missed her mother. There was a definite hole inside her heart where her constant longing for love and approval from her parents had been. All of the drive that had been guiding her, amounted to nothing in the end. But it didn't just cleanly end, even after Bree's death, because the unfulfilled drive had left her empty.
At the core of her being, she was a deeply flawed human, just as all humans are. It was the human condition in general, to hurt; to be hurt, to hurt others, to regret, and to lie to yourself, because some things were just too hard to face. So even though she came to this world and ended up in a different shell, she was still essentially the same flawed human that she always was. Even though she was vastly different, she didn't feel different, but she wondered if this world, as strange as it was compelling, would be able to change her in a deep and meaningful way. The thought was both thrilling and frightening, just as the unknown usually was.
She wanted to be different, if she could allow herself to love, to be open to it, perhaps even she could have a sweet romance. She just hoped that she wouldn't become so scared that she sabotaged herself again.
Byron's thumb continued to rub back and forth along the side of her hand while they held hands. It was a nervous little tick that she was allowing him to indulge. Whatever was bothering him, he seemed worried that it might upset her. Part of her was tempted to interrupt him and say that whatever it was, he didn't need to tell her, but curiosity plagued her, that and selfishness. She knew that if she stopped him now, she would think about it tonight while everyone around her was asleep.
She took a deep breath and then another one while she told herself to be patient, it wasn't the end of the world and even if it were, surely she would be fine. After all, she couldn't actually die, not really, even if she wanted to.
Their eyes meet and she lightly squeezed his hand in encouragement. Then he cleared his throat and looked away towards the water again. This time his eyes remain unfocused and it's clear that he isn't seeing the water, but is picturing somewhere else entirely.
"Many years ago, back when I lived in the village I was born into, I had a childhood friend, a young girl who lived in the house next to mine. Her family wasn't from my village and in fact no one knew where her family had initially come from. They were quiet about what kind of species she was and that of her mother, but everyone had their suspicions," Byron said.
"Her father was a full blood common mole, not overly attractive as moles tend to be, and was blind. Her mother only had the one mate and had no desire for any others, so she kept entirely to herself. Her mother and the young girl didn't talk much and when either of them went outside, they always wore a hood and scarf to cover their faces. Everyone thought that they must be incredibly shy, but I suspected there was a different reason."
"It wasn't until one surprisingly hot day during the summer that my suspicions were confirmed. I was catching fish in the river when my eyes were drown to a sound further up. When I looked up, I saw the most breathtaking girl I had ever seen in my life."
He paused his story momentarily to glance at Bree apologetically, but she just motioned with her hand for him to continue.
"There she was, the neighbor that I'd seen often, wearing only swimming leathers. She had long white hair that sparkled like newly fallen snow, skin as pale as moonlight, and large dark purple eyes framed by thick white lashes. She was thin with a small body, a cute little nose, and had plush cherry pink lips . She was absolutely stunning, so much so that it was frightening. As I held my breath and studied the space between her collarbones, my fears were confirmed. There in plain sight was the sign of her elemental blessing. It was a marking that all of her kind gained once they became able to wield magic. It was the unmistakable sign of a Legendary Muse Beastman."
"Muse were one of the most coveted species, and like all of the species, the females were rare. They were known for their beauty, having some power over an element, and they had some form of magic based on a type of arts. It was the same with all Legendary types, they were the only ones who were born with two or three types of magic."
"Even the males of their species were harassed and hounded by females if given the chance, let alone the females of Legendary species. They could easily cause wars and ruin entire cities just from beastmen fighting over them. But here two were in a small village with just a single blind male mole to protect the two of them. It was terrifying, but when her frightened eyes met mine, I couldn't bring myself to say anything about it to anyone. I promised her then and there to keep her secret and the two of us quickly became friends. After a couple of more years when she gained her ability to mark, she surprised me by slapping her mark on my chest while we were swimming."
He softly chuckled while thinking about the incident, but almost just as quickly, a pained look came into his eyes.
"I loved Aniya and I think in her own way that she loved me too, even though things ended the way they did between us. I ended up becoming her second mate, her first was a tiger shifter that she found in the village that I met you, his name is Tessel. She always said that tiger shifters were regal and that she would eventually get one to be her first mate."
"After me, she quickly picked up a very friendly bat and bear shifter as mates. All of us got along surprisingly well, except for Tessel who believed we were all not good enough for Aniya and should quickly disappear. He thought of us a tainting a goddess, especially the bat shifter whom he detested."
"The bat shifter was a traveling merchant. She had a soft spot for him, Troy was his name. I think that the reason why she liked him was because he reminded her of her father. He was quiet and incredibly sweet. He treated her kindly and didn't act oddly around her because of her beauty, he had seen a lot in his travels. He wasn't blind like her father had been, but he had the same coloring and calm demeanor."
"It wasn't a huge surprise when she announced that she was pregnant with three of Troy's eggs. I'd heard that females could always tell who was the father of their eggs and how many there were. It was kind of mystical really, but they could just instinctively tell. Troy was over the moon and I was happy for him, he and I had become best friends after all. I just hoped that after she'd had some time with her new babies and was ready to have another litter, that I would have a chance next. He and I promised each other that no matter what, we would treat each others kids like our own."
"Life was blissful for a time. We lived in this town and Aniya was happily flirting with all of the cat shifters. It wasn't until that cold season when Glen, the Bear Shifter, was hibernating, that everything fell apart. Another village was doing a scheduled female swapping raid with our village, as always when both of the moons were full. It was part of the rules that they wouldn't take any females who weren't outside. The following double full moon it would be our villages turn to raid their village. It's a practice that many villages participate in so they can get fresh blood in their tribes."
"Aniya had always been a curious female, so she couldn't help watching the swap raid from inside the doorway. Her beauty had been far too tempting and so, she had been stolen away, right from inside our home."
"It was loudly storming that night and the moons had been covered in clouds, so Troy and I hadn't noticed what had happened at first. It had been sudden and silent. While I was cooking in the other room, Troy had been putting together some finishing touches to the nursery that Aniya had requested. It was just the two of us with her, because Glen was hibernating and Tessel would be out on a hunting trip for a few weeks."
"It didn't occur to either of us that there would be any issues, we could obviously be able to hear if she yelled for us, and no one ever violated that rule, ever. To violate that rule was a capital offense and would exclude their village from ever being able to participate in the raids again. That beastman had obviously thought that stealing Aniya was worth the risk. I asked her to cover herself with her scarf if she wanted to watch, but she must have pulled it off as soon as my back was turned. She had started to do that when she wanted to flirt."
"She wasn't alone long when I sent Troy to go check on Aniya and bring her a snack, but by that time she was no where in sight. He yelled for me and we both searched for her around the house, but she was gone. We took off looking for her, but the rain prevented him from flying properly and it destroyed her scent."
"It was several days before we were able to catch up with her, first Troy with me trailing behind him. By that time the kidnapper had met up with some of his friends and they had had their fun with her. She was devastated and in pretty rough shape. Troy dove into a fray with them while in a blind rage and it cost him his life."
"I caught up just as Troy was dying. I hid and secretly tracked them for a few more days until there was an opening and I was able to sneak her away from them. It killed me to not attempt to rescue her immediately, but I knew that if I tried, I would fail. She couldn't forgive me for taking so long to rescue her."
"When I got back to our home, Tessel was waiting there for us. She ran into his arms and pointed her finger accusingly at me while she blamed me for allowing her to get captured and abused. He beat me until near death, but I didn't resist, because that was what she wanted."
"Not long after, she gave birth to her three eggs, but now that their father was gone, she wanted nothing to do with them. Just the sight of those eggs angered her to no end, reminding her of the incident. When she realized that two of them were female, she ordered Tessel to crush them into dust. He was only too happy to oblige, but I thew myself over them and wouldn't allow her to kill them. I begged her to allow them to hatch and told her about my promise to Troy. In the end she told me to choose either them or her. If I chose them, she would release them as her children and I would be able to hatch her eggs, but if I chose her, she would allow them to live as abandoned eggs."
"Eggs can't easily hatch on their own, they have to be claimed by a parent. If they're abandoned, the mark on their egg will disappear and they won't hatch until one-hundred years have passed and they emerge from their egg as an adult. The shell will just get larger and larger until it can hold their full sized beast form and their own energy is able to break it. Although beastmen are adults after five years, they don't gain their full magical energy until they're one-hundred. I couldn't believe she would leave them to such a fate, trapped within their own eggs for one-hundred years."
"Even if they were able to hatch after one-hundred years, they would be alone. Two undoubtedly beautiful adult females with no clue about the world or how to take care of themselves and a single brother who would take off immediately after hatching. In the end I chose them, but I never thought she would actually leave me so easily. She didn't even bother to wake up Glen before she left, saying someone like him was useless to her."
"When Glen woke up, I told him everything that happened while he was asleep and without uttering a word, he slashed his claws across her mate mark. The mark faded and in two weeks, it was gone. He was lucky, because their mate bond breaking was mutual it didn't hurt him. I wasn't so lucky, because when she cut our bond, I loved her still. The only thing that kept me going was my strong desire to keep living for the sake of my friend's babies."
He tightened his hold on Bree's hand and then sighed before releasing her.
"I'll understand if you don't want a mate like me who adopted three children already. I know that females don't typically want males who already have children. I survived having my mate bond cut once before, so it's unlikely to kill me a second time."
He sighed before looking into her eyes. There was so much hope and pain in them. Much more than one person should have to tolerate on their own.
"I'm not saying that I want you to break your mate bond with me though. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I want whatever this is between us more than anything. I couldn't even begin to explain how much I want this, but if it's not what you want or it's too much for you to deal with, I won't try to stop you from leaving. I won't be selfish, I'll give you whatever you want. Just know this, that if you do decide to choose me, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and be a good mate to you."