Death was my eternal longing, a salvation I desperately sought to escape this cruel world. While others trembled at its presence, I felt an eerie sense of solace, a twisted ecstasy that beckoned me closer. But even in that darkness, I couldn't muster the courage to end my own life. My failure to do so left me consumed by self-loathing and disappointment. Death, the one thing I thought I could control, seemed to mock me, always just out of reach.
But then, she entered my life, and everything changed.
Emma was a radiant and vibrant girl who lit up the world around her. Standing at around 4 and a half feet tall, she had stunning icy blue hair that perfectly complemented her sparkling red eyes. Her bright smile could captivate anyone, and I was no exception. What amazed me most was that despite being out of my league in every way, she saw something in me worth saving. With a heart full of kindness, she reached out and pulled me from the depths of despair, showing me a new world of hope and happiness. Her selflessness and beauty, both inside and out, left me in awe, and I felt incredibly lucky to have her by my side.
The first time we met was on a cliff, during my fifth attempt to end my life. The wind howled around me, and the waves crashed violently against the rocks below. The sky was a somber gray, mirroring the turmoil within me. Just as I finally gathered the courage to jump, a voice called out from behind me. Strangely, I felt no fear. It seemed that making up my mind had helped me accept any possibility of death.
"So," the figure said softly, "have you finally reached your decision?"
I turned slightly, catching a glimpse of a shadowy figure standing a few feet away. Although I didn't know what the figure was talking about, I could guess its thoughts.
"Yes," I replied quietly, my voice barely audible over the wind.
"And there's nothing I can do to make you change that decision?" the figure asked, a hint of sadness in its voice.
"No," I stated firmly, my resolve unwavering.
"Then it seems I have no choice," the figure sighed and moved towards me.
I closed my eyes, expecting to be pushed, but instead, I heard footsteps stopping right beside me. When I opened my eyes, I saw the face of a cute girl with the most beautiful and mesmerizing eyes I had ever seen. Her presence was unexpected, yet somehow comforting. Her hair danced in the wind, and her eyes sparkled with a mix of determination and empathy.
"What are you doing?" I asked her, my voice trembling.
"Isn't it obvious?" she replied with a gentle smile. "I'm going to jump with you."
"What?!" I shouted, my heart racing. "Are you insane? Do you even know what dying means?!"
"Of course I do," she replied calmly. "But the question right now is, do you?" she asked, her eyes searching mine.
Not giving me a chance to answer, she continued, her words piercing through my despair.
"You see, dying like this is one of the most pathetic things to do in the world. If you want to die, at least die alongside someone who sees you in good faith, someone who will hold your hand and walk with you into the unknown, someone who will cherish the time you have together, no matter how short. This is the way to die," she said, her voice filled with conviction.
This time, I could see it in her eyes. There was no sense of playfulness in them; she was deeply serious. Her words resonated with a truth I had long forgotten.
"But I have no one. No one is willing to walk down that path with me, not even my own goddamn paren—" I began, only to be interrupted by her.
"I care! I care for you!"
And just like that, time seemed to stop for me. Her words echoed in my mind, breaking through the darkness that had consumed me. In that moment, I realized that maybe, just maybe, there was a reason to keep going. The warmth of her hand in mine, the sincerity in her eyes, and the unexpected connection we shared gave me a glimmer of hope.
But that hope was short-lived. Everything from that moment on became a blur to me. Things happened, and we eventually started dating. Three months passed before it all came crashing down.
One evening, I saw her on the street, wrapped in the arms of another man, their lips locked in a passionate kiss. My heart shattered, but I confronted her right then and there. I expected denial, maybe even an apology. Instead, she looked me in the eyes and said something that broke me completely.
She told me that the only reason she had stopped me from committing suicide that day was because I looked like a lost puppy to her, and now, I had outlived my usefulness.
Her words cut deeper than any knife. Overwhelmed by a torrent of pain and betrayal, I felt my world collapse. My vision blurred, my heart ached, and in that moment of unbearable sorrow, I felt my life slip away. My body crumpled to the ground, lifeless.
And that's it, that's how I died.
In the most pathetic and useless way possible