Serayah
Oh my fucking god! OH MY FUCKING GOD! What the hell just happened? Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Alyssa's gonna hate me forever. Shit.
I clean myself up as I panic then quickly pull the tshirt over my head and pace the large bathroom hearing Alyssa and Zeke going back and forth arguing, dammit.
I wash my hands and face then use mouthwash again before bracing myself to show my face. What do I even say? Sorry, Alyssa.. I'm in love with your brother and I always have been. Yeah.. I think she'll slap me.
I go to open the door when it suddenly bursts open and I have to jump back so I'm not hit and I see a pissed Alyssa and drop my head.
"I'm sorry" I whisper feeling guilty and hoping I haven't loss my only friend.. she's like my sister for godsake.
"Move Alyssa" I hear Zeke and he's suddenly in front of me but I step back shaking my head.
"No, I can't" I tell him pulling back and brushing past him. I need to leave.
I rush towards where I see my things and grab them before running out the room.
"Serayah" I hear Zeke call after me but I can't bring myself to stop and look back as I bolt down the stairs but I halt immediately when I see three growling doberman's at the front door.
"Ohh fuck. Zeke!" I shout and hear him running towards me.
"Ricco, Riz, Roach. Leave!" He orders and they scatter away and I hear him come down behind me, but I run towards the door where I'm caught and spun to face him. I look away from him not being able to bring my myself to look in his eyes.
"Don't run, not now" he says and drops his forehead to mine and I breathe him in and he smells of me, mixed with him and it's intoxicating.
"I need Alyssa" I tell him and he pulls back.
"I need you" he says sounding pained and my heart hurts as I blink at his words. That's all I've wanted to hear for years, I've wanted this man for as long as I can remember and I can't have him.
"I- I can't" I say and shake my head.
"Let's go, Serayah" I hear Alyssa from behind Zeke and that answers my question. She's not on board with this.
"Goodbye, Blu" I whisper past the lump in my throat and turn away walking through his front door feeling my eyes burn with fresh tears.
I rush down the steps and climb straight into the back seat of Alyssa's car dropping my things next to me and my head in my hands as I let the tears fall. I'm so stupid.
Why was that so hard to say goodbye? Why does it feel like my heart was healing to have it crushed in a second.
Alyssa climbs behind the wheel and starts the car quickly without a word and pulls off just as quick.
The silence grows thicker as I stare out the window lost in what could of been. I don't know anymore than she does. I was confused until he kissed me and then made me cum like never before. I'll die a fucking virgin at this rate..
"What the fuck are you doing, Serayah!?" She suddenly speaks and I shake my head having no idea.
"I don't know, it just.. happened" I say rubbing my head feeling the effects of lastnight finally taking affect.
"No there's more to it, I seen the way you both were" she says looking at me through the rear view mirror and I shake my head.
"How long have you been fucking my brother?" She demands and I furrow my brows.
"I haven't fucked anyone and you know that" I say bitchy because shit, she fucking knows!
"And now I know why" she says and shakes her head.
"What are you talking about?" I say to her and she raises her brow.
"You've been saving yourself for him, haven't you?" She says bluntly and I look away, not answering her. All I know is I've always wanted Zeke and in that moment.. I'd of gladly gave it to him.
"He's going to fuck you and leave you, Serayah. You know him and what he's like!" she says and I rub my temple, sighing.
"I like him, Alyssa. I always have" I tell her honestly and she suddenly pulls over and looks towards me.
"You love him you mean" she says looking at me and I nod my head and drop it into my hands feeling tears fall again. I'm so stupid.
"It'll never work, he isn't the settling down type" she tells me and I shake my head with a sigh and wipe my eyes.
"I know" I just say but something inside me tells me she's wrong. I know it. I can feel it.
"Can we just-" I start but she shakes her head.
"I'm gonna take you home, I have to do something" she says and turns around, pulling back off again and I furrow my brows unsure of what this thing is..
We get to mine quickly and I grab my things then look to Alyssa.
"I'll text you later" she just says and I sigh and nod.
"Okay" I just say and climb out the car, running towards my door and quickly grabbing my keys and unlocking it, pushing through.
I lock it behind me and drop my things sliding down the wall as I feel like I've not only lost Blu, but more than likely Alyssa too.
"Fuckkkk!" I scream out as tears fall and I have no idea what I'm going to do now.
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All day I've been alone, I can't remember the last time that happened but I'm starting to think that Alyssa maybe done with me. She hasn't called or text me, I'm wondering if she's with Zeke too?
I cleaned up myself along with scrubbing my house and I finally sit down, sipping my vodka and coke feeling like my small word is collapsing around me and I have no one to blame but myself. I'm the one who stayed, I'm the one who kissed him back, I'm the one who let him touch me, it's my fucking fault!
My door suddenly knocking makes me jump and pause. I'm not expecting anyone, my heart picks up its pace and I hate when this happens.
"Open the door, Serayah" I hear Alyssa's voice and move quickly towards her.
I unlock and pull the door open surprised to see Zeke and Kol with her and furrow my brows.
"What are you guys doing here?" I ask looking to Alyssa not making eye contact with Zeke. I don't think I can trust myself not to crumble.
"This is what you wanted, right?" Alyssa says raising her brow and I furrow mine.
"Are you gonna let us in or what?" Kol says and I nod slowly stepping back and letting them come inside.
Zeke stops in the hallway while the other two go through and I close the door as I take a deep breath.
"Superstar-" he starts but I shake my head and turn to him.
"This doesn't change anything, Zeke. Alyssa's just proving a point" I tell him and he nods.
"I know but I needed to see you" he says and it makes the butterflies flutter but I try push the feeling away.
"I'm fine" I tell him brushing past him and heading back into the lounge, hearing him sigh.
"So, what are we drinking?" Kol asks and nods towards my drink.
"Vodka, help yourselves" I tell them and take a seat in my usual spot.
"So, what you been doing all day?" Alyssa asks and I shrug.
"Cleaning my house, you?" I ask her and she hums.
"Trying to come to terms with my best friend and brother fucking" she says and I drop my head back annoyed.
"We didn't fuck. How many times, Alyssa" Zeke growls as he sits across the room, far away from me but I still feel my body humming under his intense gaze.
"But you was clearly going to" she says and I roll my eyes.
"Actually we wasn't, don't assume you know everything" Zeke tells her straight. Wait, I even assumed that's where it was going too. Did he not want too?
"Then why was she naked and on top of you" Alyssa says raising her brow and I feel my face heat up as Kol looks to me.
"Because I like the female body, I wanted to see it up close" Zeke says cocky and Alyssa picks up the cigarette pack and launches it at his head making him duck and laugh.
"Don't try that, you've seen plenty. You wanted to get back at me!" She says and I furrow my brows kind of remembering this conversation from lastnight.
"My life doesn't revolve around you, little sister. Sorry to break it to you" he tells her and she clenches her jaw not liking that.
"Lys, if he's not punching me, then why can't he fuck Serayah?" Kol asks Alyssa and she waves him off but it's a valid question.
"Answer the question" Zeke tells her and she crosses her arms.
"Because it's not the same" she says defensively and I furrow my brows.
"Why not? Is there something wrong with me, am I not good enough for your brother?" I find myself saying my thoughts aloud and Zeke looks to me along with Alyssa.
"There's nothing wrong with you" she says immediately and I hum noticing how she didn't answer the second part.
"So, I'm not good enough, good to know" I tell her and she shakes her head but I feel my stomach twist at my best friends thoughs of me.
"I never said that, babe" she says and I shrug and drink my drink.
"That's what I'm getting from you, but it's okay.. I'm good enough to be your friend but not fuck your brother. Cool" I say to her and stand walking off out of the longue and into the kitchen grabbing the vodka again.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I hear Zeke stress and footsteps coming towards me.
"Superstar-" he starts but I hold my hand up.
"What's the point, Zeke? You got back at her. You succeeded, now can you leave me alone" I tell him and swig from the bottle feeling myself become more and more numb but he suddenly snatches the bottle from me and slams it down.
"No!" He growls when I try to snatch it back and huff out, leaning into the counter crossing my arms.
"What do you want, why are you all here?" I ask him not understanding and he steps closer to me caging me in as he leans either side of me and his lips move to my ear. My breath cathes as I breathe him in.. accidentally. But, he smells soo fucking good.
"Alyssa's trying to prove a point, but I don't care" he says and breathes me in as he inhales deeply and kisses below my ear.
"I can't do this Zeke. I've already fucked up, you don't understand" I tell him, closing my eyes not wanting to see the hurt in his.
"Tell me you don't want this and I'll leave you alone" he says and I open my eyes again and swallow hard as I hesitate. I want him, more than anything!
"Exactly, superstar" he says and kisses my forehead before lifting my chin.
"I'm not going anywhere" he says and grabs the whiskey I keep in the cupboard above my head and walks off with a smile leaving me reeling.
"Okay, let's play a game" Alyssa says as she grabs the empty vodka bottle and places it on the middle of the table. Everything seems to of settled into a comfortable state like always, but now I'm a little nervous.
"No childish shit, Lys" Kol complians making her chuckle, giddy and I'd say she's halfway tipsy.
"Truth or dare" she says and I raise my brow.
"You wanna play that with your brother?" I ask her and she hums.
"It doesn't have to be sexual. Just fun" she says and spins the bottle instantly landing on me. Fuck.
"Errr, Dare?" I say more as a question and she smirks at me.
"Remove one piece of clothing or take a shot" Alyssa says and I raise my brow at her.
"What? That's not sexual" she says and I shake my head, laughing and begin to take off my black cardigan. I feel Zeke's eyes burning into me as I sit in my bralette and jeans now and feeling more exposed.. again.
"Great, spin the bottle, girl" Alysaa says and I spin it, and it lands on Kol.
"Truth, why not" he says and I smile at him.
"How did you feel about Zayden and Alyssa hooking up?" I ask him and he stares at me for a moment and I think he's not going to answer and take the shot but he sits forward and looks at Alyssa then back to me.
"I wanted to rip his fucking head off. I.. Alyssa knows how it is" he just says then takes the shot as well and I smile at him.
"So, are you two a thing?" I ask him and he looks to Alyssa who bites her lip.
"We're working onit" he says and I nod and smile at them.
"Spin the bottle, babe" Alysaa says to Kol and he does so for it to land back on me. Fucking hell.
"Truth" I just say and Alysaa grins.
"Tell us how you feel about my brother" she says and I blink and go wide eyed. No!
I look to Zeke who's already watching me, sipping his whiskey and he's been kinda quiet tonight.. more than usual.
"I'll take the shot" I say and lean forward picking it up and backing the sambucca. Fuck.
"Chicken" Alyssa says and I raise my brow at her.
"It doesn't matter how I feel when it's never going to happen. You made that perfectly clear" I tell her and she furrows her brows.
"So you get to be happy with Kol and I.." Zeke starts but stops whatever was on the tip of his tongue. He looks to me and stands with his bottle.
"Fuck this" he says and walks out. I hear my front door open and slam shut and I look to Alyssa who's holding her temple. Is no one going to stop him from driving with the damn bottle of whiskey?
"I'll go shall I" I mutter standing up and rushing out the lounge and pulling my front door open to see him sat in his car with his head against the steering wheel. Blu..
My heart hurts looking at him and I find myself walking towards the passenger side and climbing in. I don't say anything, and he doesn't look at me.
We just sit there in quietness until he finally sits back and swigs from the bottle again before offering it to me. What the heck, why not.
I take it and swig a few times before capping it and turning to face him.
"What do you want Zeke?" I ask quietly and he closes his eyes and sighs.
"Just be honest. You know I wouldn't judge you, Blu" I tell him and he turns his head and looks at me for a moment.
"I never know what I want. That's why my life's a fuck up, superstar" he says and reaches for the bottle but I stop him and take his hand instead.
"You're life isn't a fuck up, how many times, Zeke" I tell him because he has more than most.
"I don't have what I truly want.. need" he says with a sigh and grips his steering wheel.
"You can have anything you want, Blu" I tell him and he looks to me and suddenly reaches over and strokes my cheek.
"If I can't have you, what's the point" he says sadly as I lean into his touch and press my lips to the palm of his hand.
"I don't understand, any of this, Zeke. What changed?" I ask because before lastnight I was just Serayah, Alyssa's bestie.
"I think I've always wanted you, I've always felt the need to protect you, make sure you was okay, but kept my distance at the same time. But then I went to jail and I had a lot of time to think, you were the only person who was consistent. I know we spoke about nothing in particular, but it kept me going, then when I got out I didn't know what to do so I avoided you. Then when I kissed you at the party, I didn't even know it was you, I wanted to forget you but then I confessed my damn feelings then avoided you again until lastnight" he says and it makes me smile thinking that my jibber-jabber kept him going inside.
"I've always felt safe with you, you're the only man that can do that, Zeke. I don't like that you avoided me but I get it, I was Alyssa's friend and off limits-"
"And Kol's my friend and she's fucking him.. and Zayden, god knows who else, yet.. I only want her best friend and I'm the bad guy" he says and I nod understanding where he's coming from.
"I only have Alyssa, you know just as much as she does, Blu. I can't lose her for nothing" I tell him not to be harsh but it's the truth.
"Then we don't tell her" he says and I raise my brow.
"You wanna sneak around?" I say and he hums and runs his hand up my thigh.
"I've waited too long, superstar. I knew I'd cave eventually" he tells me and his lips are pressing against mine and I'm gripping the back of his head kissing him back.
"I'll think about it. Now, let's go back inside. It's my house, Blu" I say to him against his lips and he groans clearly against it.
"Please, I don't want you to drive drunk" I tell him and he smirks at me and kisses my neck.
"You just don't want me to go, is it my time for a sleepover" he teases and I bite my lip imaging Zeke in my bed like I have so many times.
"So is that a yes, handsome?" I ask and he smiles pulling back and nods.
"Gimme a minute, superstar" he tells me and I nod and kiss him as I reach over taking his keys and climbing out quickly. I know his game.
"Serayah!" I hear him as I run back into the house and into the lounge catching Alyssa sat straddling Kol making out with his hands all over her and I roll my eyes and go sit back in my spot. I keep Zeke's keys on me and reach for my drink.
"Where's Zeke?" Kol asks as Alyssa moves off of him.
"He'll be back" I tell him and sip my drink hearing my front door and Zeke comes walking in. He sits back in the chair and looks to me with a smirk on his face holding his bottle of whiskey. Why does he look so hot right now.
"You good?" Kol asks him and I back the rest of my drink and grab the sambucca.
"Let's do some shots" I say and line up the glasses beginning to pour them out.
"Wait, where did Serayah go?" Alyssa teases and I stick my tongue at her.
"I left her at the door, now drink" I tell her handing her a glass and then one to the guys.
"One, Two, Shot!" Alyssa calls out and we all back them. Oh god.. the liquorice seeps on my tongue and down my throat spreading goosebumps over my skin.
"Fuck, I hate it" Kol says making Alyssa laugh as she cuddles into him and it makes me look to Zeke wishing I could be like that with him. He said I fell asleep watching the film with him. So while I was asleep he was doing what?
"Hit me again" Zeke says and I smile at him as I lean over and top up his glass.
"Good boy" I tease and he raises his brow at me.
"There's nothing 'boy' about me, superstar" he says and winks at me making my body tingle with giddiness and I hum biting my lip. Godsake, I want him more and more.
"Turn the music up" Alyssa says and grabs my sound system remote and turns up Chris Brown as she stands and pulls me up.
"Dance with me" she says and pulls me closer as I move my body to the beat feeling a burning sensation as I turn to see Zeke's eye on me.
"I've never seen Kol so hands on" I say to her trying to concentrate on something other than the tingles spreading through me.
"I know, he wants more" she says in my ear and I'm not surprised at her words.
"And you don't?" I ask and she pouts at me.
"He's Zeke's best friend. What about him?" She says and slumps her shoulders and I lift her chin and smile.
"He loves you and just wants you to he happy, I promise you" I tell her because its obvious, and I feel like I know him enough to tell her that.
"You think?" She asks and I nod my head.
"Go be happy, babe" I tell her as Kol comes over and Alyssa turns into him and kisses him as I back away and look to Zeke. Fuck it, my house, my rules.
I walk straight up to him and he looks at me with his brow raised, questioningly until I drop down straddling him and press my lips to his and he instantly wraps his arms around me as he kisses me back and I melt into him. This is where I wanna be.