My name is Tom Dixon. Im 33 years old. I live in the southeastern part of Tokio, and i am forever alone. I work an office job like everyone else, and i dont sleep more than 4 hours a day. I also am not Yoshikage Kira. No seriously, i just saw this line from him and adopted it everywhere.
I swear im not a psychopath.
Today i got a notice that i used a taxi to get to mexico, even though i was never there.
I contacted my credit card company but they confirmed it was my credit card that was used.
I was being defrauded!
...
"I hate you."
"I know."
The alternate Alaya from earlier was travelling to the crystal valley as a tourist, just because. It manifested a credit card and got a taxi. Unfortunately the taxi driver was an old acquaintance.
"So what is your alias in this world?", asked the taxi driver while stepping on the gas and breaking several traffic laws.
".... hand me the flex tape first."
The taxi driver threw an roll of flextape to the backseats, labelled '4th wall tape'. "Still going with that lazy habit?"
Fixing the 4th wall while breaking it simultaneously, the 'man' caught the roll of tape, began his sisyphun task and responded "M/N for simplicity obviously. The customer is king"
"Then let me give them some advice as a fellow king-" the man with cat ears responded only to get rudely interrupted. "Make your own spin-off to give them advice"
The driver sulked. "I cant believe you'd do this to me, your longtime friend!", he exclaimed dramatically, with tears streaming out of his eyes and vanishing into the empty void.
"Nyarlathotep."
The dramatic catman grumbled. "You hate my acting so much?"
"Yes. You chose to annoy me, you gotta stick with it."
"More time to taste the local cuisine, then!" the eldritch entity laughed.
"Not with you. You'll drive to the crystal valley, no interruptions."
"You prefer that spider over me that much?!"
"U.F.O. but close enough"
"Nitpicker!"
"Says you."
...
Meanwhile the car was driving through buildings and causing several accidents. It stopped at nothing, green light, red light, crossings, nothing mattered.
Also zero causalties, though how escapes any humans grasp.
...
"Well who is in this operation, boss?", Nyarlathotep asked his passenger.
"You really think id tell you? Im not wasting my time on this."
"As the president of united states of america, i command you to-" the tentaclelover got interrupted by a snickers going though his mouth, causing him to revert to his true form, before quickly changing back.
A blue humanoid shape with long pointy ears began to emerge from behind M/N, before a fist hit it and it vanished. "Just because you were a president at some points in some random universe doesnt mean you have the right to use that privilege forever. Presidency runs out. Also dont bring lovetrain to this world, i have enough to deal with it."
The Dojyaaaaan-wannabe mumbled something about balls, horses and holy corpses before focusing on the roa- nevermind they were underground with the taxi drilling through the earth to its destination.
"This is why i hate you."
"...."