Chereads / Cannon Fodder to Villainess / Chapter 91 - 91. Home

Chapter 91 - 91. Home

As soon as Amber stepped out of her dad's dwelling and the light of the morning touched her face, she felt an inexplicable relief fill her. She stopped just outside the doorway and took a deep breath while tilting her face up to the sun and closing her eyes. The heat and light on her face was soothing. 

Unfortunately, there was always something that she needed to do. After just a few breathes her mind started racing with thoughts of the future and how she was going to deal with upcoming problems. While her mind raced she told herself again that at least she wouldn't be bored in this life, but really, would it be too bad to be bored once in a while? If she was being entirely honest with herself, it would be a luxury at this point to have the opportunity to be bored. 

As Amber walks, her long black dress slightly billows behind her and her long silver hair glistens in the light. She's a stunning and unusual beauty who clearly has metal magic. Wherever she walks, the men working on the new dwelling's in the Baron's estate stop to admire her appearance. A beautiful woman with unique magic was greatly admired in both Mavire and Verglas. Unfortunately, women were rarely admired for their own merits or their strength in general. 

No, men wouldn't find Amber's rare talent for metal magic appealing for what she could do with it, what she would be able to accomplish, her value as a person, her strength, and other such things. The only reason why a man from Mavire or Verglas would find Amber's strength appealing would be because they would want to breed her. Their greatest hope would be that she could give them a strong and healthy son with metal and space magic. Then they would find some dumb and weak woman to stroke their ego's and push Amber somewhere to the back of their minds where they wouldn't have to see her and feel inferior in her presence.

 Of course those women wouldn't be permitted to actually have their children, but they would have their attention and their version of affection, however shallow their version of affection would be. Yes, Verglas and Mavire were horrible places for women to live, but the majority of the women who lived there weren't even aware of how unpleasant it really was. That was their life after all, they had nothing else to compare it to. 

While walking through the sea of hungry men in this trashy empire, Amber felt the strong and violent urge to pluck out their lecherous and greedy eyes. She lifted up her hand and looked at her long, pointy, and black painted nails. She poked the tips into her palm, but nothing happened. A slight frown appeared between her eyebrows. She lowered her hand and continued to walk, pointedly trying to ignore the trashy men hovering around her.

 As soon as Amber walked into her own home, she felt relieved. As strange as it was to admit, she'd started to feel connected to this place more strongly than she had anywhere else in her previous life. She closed the front door with a resounding thump and leaned her back against it while taking deep breaths. She wasn't used to being eyeballed like a piece of prime meat by a crowd of hungry wolves, okay? She missed her cloak, but there wasn't any more point in hiding her appearance and ability anymore. 

Avoiding the First Prince wasn't helping, trying to appear unappealing to him also wasn't helping. Abusing him wasn't even helping. Was he a masochist? How was she supposed to even deal with one of those? Her only course of action was to make herself so strong and well connected that she's able to refuse this engagement herself. That was a tall order, but her options were starting to run out. 

The First Prince made himself very clear, he has absolutely no intention of willingly breaking off their engagement. At the end of the day, one thing was clear and would remain the same. She was unwilling to marry him, this she was certain of. She was unwilling even until death and that would never change no matter how he changed towards her. Every single memory she had with him in it was unpleasant. He was selfish to the extreme, rude, a womanizer, and violent. If you looked at the two of them on paper like that, they didn't seem all that different, but he was also a coward, intent on bringing down women to make himself feel better. Use, abuse, and toss aside. He's a foolish and frivolous man. He was the epitome of everything she disliked in a man.

She honestly wasn't entirely sure what her type would be. While thinking of this, a certain man that she wasn't sure even existed flitted through her mind. He was a beautifully enchanting man, a man who exuded a sense of forbidden aura and danger, a man with rose-colored eyes. Perhaps her taste in men was truly terrible, she couldn't be sure until she finally got into a serious relationship. Even then, perhaps she still wouldn't be able to tell if her taste was truly horrible or not. Thinking about that long white hair, those long fangs, and his rose-colored eyes sent an excited shimmer down her spine. None of the men currently around her could affect her like he could and she wasn't even sure that he was actually real or just a strange figment of an overly desperate and lonely mind.

Amber slipped towards the back of the house with a flushed face while thinking of the man in her dreams. She didn't want to bump into anybody yet, so she avoided the main rooms and simply slipped into the side hallway. The house smelled like warm homemade chicken soup and freshly baked bread. From the other rooms, she could hear puzzle pieces scraping against the coffee table and Ethan talking with Mable in the kitchen.

Ever since he woke up, her younger brother Ethan had attached himself to Amber's household and Mabel in particular. Amber couldn't blame him. Mable gave off a comfortable feeling, like a happy Grandma who radiated love and was always baking you treats. It wasn't anything like Amber had ever experienced before, it was more like the Grandmothers that were always in cliche old TV series in her past life. The Grandmothers that people thought of ideally, perhaps one of your friends had a sweet and loving Grandmother like that, but you weren't so lucky. Much like the TV shows where it follows a group of friends who've been together since they were really young and they're the best of friends through thick and thin. 

Amber always thought that that looked nice. Perhaps somewhere out there there were people who had that kind of friendship and family? The kind that would make other people envious. She wasn't entirely sure if that made her happy or not. For the first time in both her lives though, she was starting to feel like she belonged somewhere and that perhaps if she suddenly disappeared for some reason, there would be people who missed and looked for her. It would feel like she was missing from where she was supposed to be.

This place gave off a feeling of warmth, light, and acceptance. She didn't feel that she deserved it, no one knew just how dark and twisted the inside of her actually was. She wasn't even sure how far she could take things, she hadn't even scratched her limit yet. She had no idea what her actual limit was. After everything that she had done, she had no regrets, and she felt like she should. Like she was obligated to feel regret and shame after what she'd done, but she felt none. She had enjoyed herself the entire time and she would happily repeat her actions if given the same choices again. Wouldn't others feel horrified if they knew just how dark she actually was inside?

Amber walked into her bedroom and was faced with a light blue empire dress that was so light, it was nearly white and floated like foam on tropical seashore. The dress had a two more layers which were translucent and billowy. Around the neckline it draped in a boat-neck style, tastefully dotted in pearls and little diamonds. The neckline curved outward and wrapped around the shoulders, but that was the extent of its sleeves. It came with long white gloves that reached just past the elbow and were dotted with little pearls around the tops of them and little matching slippers. Amber pulled in a shocked breath while looking at the beautiful dress.

"I wanted you to look nice for your debut, so I had that specially ordered for you. I wanted it to be a surprise, I hope that you don't mind. It's a gift from all of us."

Amber turned around and looked back towards her bedroom door where Mabel was standing while Ethan had his little fist holding her skirt. She was wearing a light yellow wrap dress that reached just above her ankles and a white apron with large pockets. Her salt and pepper hair was tied in a basic bun resting at the nape of her neck and the skin around her eyes was crinkled from smiling. Her eyes glittered with happiness and shone with love while she looked at Amber. Amber's eyes started to sting with un-shed tears when she saw that look in her eyes. So this was what love looked like.

"Do you like it, sis?" Ethan said in his cute little voice.

Amber looked over at the cute little cherub with his cheeks that were quickly becoming healthy and chubby with the amount of spoiling he'd been receiving from Mabel. A large cookie was currently held in his other little hand and crumbs were sprinkled on his cheeks and clothing. 

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