Juliette and I began walking towards the building.
'I didn't know you attended the institute,' I told her, trying to sound jovial and hide my annoyance at finding her there.
'I also didn't expect to find – you here,' she said, without making any effort at hiding her mutual distaste for my presence.
'Mother found a man. He doesn't like me around.'
'Yes,' Juliette said, 'it's quite typical, I suppose. Most girls are here for similar reasons: young people can be so annoying! Obviously, my presence wouldn't bother Father in the least:' she was quick to add, 'he's a man who truly values a good education.'
I smiled to myself at this last comment, which didn't sound as convincing as Juliette had probably hoped.
Juliette was the same age as I was, but she assumed the air of an older, more experienced, and more authoritative person.
I hadn't forgotten the way she had dismissed me when I had met her at her place.
My mother had gone there to beg her father to grant her protection. She had given herself to him in the hope of moving his interest, but this man had felt no compassion for her.
His daughter had regarded me and my mother as nothing more than beggars, treating us with great coldness.
I remember the relief I had felt when I could finally leave her tedious company during the party I had attended at her house.
Now, I was to live with her, share the same dorm, sit in the same classroom, but, more egregiously, I had to defer to her, in her capacity of prefect. Mlle Renouf had been very clear in this regard: I had to treat Juliette not like any common pupil, not as an equal, but like her emissary.
Juliette guided me to the dorm I was to share with the other girls in our year. This was a large, unadorned room, in the underroof. On our way, Juliette didn't miss a chance to reprimand all the fellow students we encountered:
'Don't yawn – keep your head straight when you walk – are you eating outside mess hall?'
I wasn't too sure that all of these commandments were in fact rules of the institute. Juliette was indeed capricious and relished the authority she had been given over the other girls.
These, on their parts, scuttled when they saw her approaching.
Just like during the ball at her house, I had the distinct feeling that Mlle Aumont wasn't much liked by anyone, and that she had, while being very popular, no friends at all.
Once we arrived at our dorm, I busied myself with unpacking my trunk, which had been brought up in the meantime. In fact, I did so in a fastidious manner. Each piece of garment was regarded, considered, folded, so that Juliette, who had been observing me, soon began yawning and lost any interest in me.
'Very well, Eloise,' she said with an air of great importance. 'I have a few errands to run for Mlle Renouf before dinner.'
I was sure this was a fib, but I said nothing, being only too glad to see her go.
I had the afternoon to myself. The dormitory was empty at that moment, but, I was sure, that I would soon begin to see more trunks appear, as more students arrived for the beginning of the new academic year.
I therefore began drafting a letter to my old maid, Margot. She was the only person I could now confide in: I felt now abandoned and quite lonely, having left most familiar faces behind when we left our home, having then lost my brothers, and now having been abandoned by my mother.
I felt determined to find some humour in all these events and to amuse Margot, rather than to bore her with my sadness, by retelling some of the recent developments of my situation under a comical light, but, having begun the first sentence many times, I put down my pen.
I felt quite dejected. To think on this may pleasure be another day, says the poet, but, at that time, I very much doubted such a time would come.
I then began to feel that, while the unavoidable presence of others would become a rather vexing feature of that place, I could find no solace in solitude in that place. From then on, and for as long as I dwelled there, I would not have a room of my own. I would always fear being observed or spied on.
I had packed some novels, but I felt in no mood to open them. Would a casual observer find this past time too frivolous, or perhaps too conceited?
Even writing a letter might be questioned:
'What are you writing? – Let us read what the new girl says about us.'
Although I had not met any of the other girls, I imagined they might be a touch too similar to Juliette for my liking, and I instinctively was suspicious of anyone at the school.
Slowly, the room began to fill with girls. Girls unpacking. Girls chatting. Girls laughing. Girls sitting alone.
I saw all but looked at nothing.
I didn't feel ready to talk to anybody, to be quizzed about my story, to feign any desire to know any of them.
These girls, I could tell, all came from good families. They came in pretty dresses. They spoke with refined accents and avoiding any regional inflection. Whatever embarrassing detail of their past life – maybe a family fortune built on the herring trade, or a mother from the South – was carefully erased. They were all equally spectacular, the centre of the attention with their jewels and their stories of fancy soirees, and yet, equally anonymous.
When it was time for dinner, all the girls walked downstairs to the mess hall, a large refectory with whitewashed walls and vaulted ceilings. There were long tables with wooden planks for the girls to sit on. On the far wall, a smaller table was reserved to the staff.
I sat down without particular attention to which seat I was occupying. I simply waited for Juliette to sit down, so that I could choose a different table and be free of her company.
Soon, all the pupils were sitting down.
The headmistress led the room in quick prayer, then some of the younger pupils, girls of no more than twelve, served the food.
I was sitting down between two students.
To my right, was a very large girl. She ate her food with great relish. Keeping her head but a few inches from the plate, she made great noises while chewing.
Some girls were commenting on this and giggling, pointing towards the girl.
To my left, was a tall skinny girl, with a sallow face and hair so fine and blonde that you could see the pink scalp underneath. Unlike the other girl, she was not touching her food. Instead, she looked at it with some suspicion, then turned her gaze towards the ceiling to avoid confronting the meal before her.
My food was slow to come. Finally, a bowl filled with water was put before me.
'What's this?' I asked the server.
'Your food,' she said.
Surely, there must have been a mistake. Everyone else was eating slightly greying mutton and positively green boiled potatoes. As unappetising as they might have been, they were certainly more filling than some water.
'Are you new?' the skinny girl to my left asked.
I said I was, and she said:
'That's why.'
Then, she returned to her observation of the ceiling.
Before I could ask her what that meant and what I needed to do to get something to eat, I heard the voice of Juliette. She was standing behind us.
'What are you two doing?'
We all turned towards her.
'You,' she said, now addressing the girl to my right, 'you look like a pig! Where are your manners.'
The girl lost all colour from her happy, pink face.
'I'm – sorry, Miss Aumont,' she stuttered.
'And you,' Juliette hissed, facing the girl to my left, 'eat your food! It was cooked for you: you should be thankful.'
The thin girl trembled all over and was unable to say a word.
Finally, Juliette turned towards me, staring with a spiteful look on her face, looking for some fault. Then, finding nothing, she simply left without another word.
The girls turned towards their meal, both unsure of how to deal with it.
The large girl was biting her lips, as she cut dainty morsels of food with her fork and knife, slowly bringing each little piece to her lips.
The thin smelled the content of her plate. She looked at it. Then, she brought a piece of mutton to her mouth.
I believe she was about to gag.
She moved the meat around in her mouth, unable to swallow it. Finally, she spat it on the floor and ran away.
'Mlle Aumont!' came the voice of the headmistress.
Juliette stood up on command with a murderous look on her face and left the room in search of the fugitive.
When the meal was over, the headmistress raised from her seat once again and addressed the room:
'Girls, another year. I'm all very proud of what you have achieved so far, and I look forward to seeing the fruits of your future efforts. I also wish to warn you about temptations: these can come to you in the form of sloth – do not fall to this temptation: do not ever abandon a worthy enterprise for the sake of inactivity – and they can come to you in the form of dirty books… all forms of depravity! But not you. Not here! I know my girls are studious…'
The sermon went on.
I stared at my bowl of water. Not even a biscuit to go with it.
Finally, we were allowed to leave and go to our dorms.
We all marched in order along the corridors, past the classrooms, up the stairs. The girls, grouped in pairs or small groups, were politely talking in hushed tones.
I kept to myself and headed to my bed. I was apprehensive about having to disrobe before these girls, but I decided to change into my nightgown and get into bed without any fuss.
This room was reserved to students of my age group. These young women had reached the final years of their time at the institute; they all knew each other and had formed closed bonds.
I felt like an outsider: nobody had spoken to me so far, and nobody had taken pity on me when I was served a bowl of ice for dinner and offered me some of their food. Maybe that was preferable.
There were small windows that opened in the pitched ceiling, as we were lodged right under the roof, and through them I could observe the pale blue cut-out of the evening sky, that had lingered almost too long, finally change into gold, turn to pink, and finally lose its brightness as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, and a nearly full moon cast its silvery light across the night sky.
The room was now lit by many candles.
The girls in their nightgown sat on their beds, some chatting, some reading, some doing nothing at all.
'Attention, attention!'
Everyone turned to see Juliette, standing on a trunk, addressing the room.
'This year we have three new girls. Eloise, Marcelline, and…'
Here she looked around. Seeing the girl she was looking for, asked her in a curt tone:
'So? What's your name?'
This was a small, rotund girl, who, when she spoke, cheeped in a high, rather timid voice, like the calling of a bird.
'My name is Odile. Odile de Broglie.'
'Stand up, girls,' Juliette said, encouraging. 'We want to see you.'
Odile got off her bed and stood there, looking around, rather embarrassed at the attention.
Next, another girl, imitated her. This was a tall girl that looked all out of proportion, with a long nose and a small chin, narrow shoulders and large sides, big bulging eyes and long arms. She stood awkwardly, twisting her fingers.
'Come on, Eloise. I know you're not shy,' Juliette said next.
I considered that, sooner or later, I had to get to know my fellow students. Also, I didn't want to get into an argument, so I thought it safer to comply. I got off the bed, smiled towards Juliette, and waited, hoping to be dismissed presently.
I felt the eyes of all the girls upon me. They were looking at me with great curiosity: no doubt they were assessing my lineage, my figure; they tried to remember how I spoke, whether with an accent or a hint of vulgarity.
'So, girls,' Juliette said with an unctuous, ingratiating tone, 'welcome to our little school. I assume you're all a little apprehensive. After all, it's your first day…'
Marcelline, looking towards Juliette with a hopeful look, said that, indeed, this was all very new to her, and, being away from her family, she felt a little lonely.
'But dear Marcelline,' Juliette continued, 'here's your new family. We will take good care of you.'
Marcelline thanked her greatly.
'And what about you, little Odile?' Juliette asked the other girl.
Odile shrugged her shoulders:
'A school's a school, I guess,' she said, sounding bolder that Marcelline.
'But this school is very special. It's one of the most respectable institutions of France. Some of the most noble families are represented here,' Juliette said.
The other girls were watching this exchange in perfect silence.
'And you, my good friend,' Juliette said towards me, 'are you too a little worried about spending a year with us, away from your mother, who I remember so fondly?'
I sensed that these questions were not as innocent and disinterested as she was trying to make them sound. I said I was quite pleased with my accommodation and was looking forward to the first day of class.
Juliette seemed to enjoy herself immensely with this line of questioning. So, she continued:
'Well said, Eloise. Now, our three new friends, tell us: how did you like your dinner tonight?'
At this, all the other girls roared with laughter.
Juliette smiled towards the other girls and, having waited for the noise to subside, spoke again:
'This is a little joke of ours for the new girls. We have prepared a little welcome for you, after which, we will serve a proper dinner.' Then, addressing another girl, said: 'Gabrielle, have you brought them?'
The girl called Gabrielle said:
'I certainly have.'
Then, she opened her trunk and produced three strange objects.
The whole room was filled with giggles and cries of:
'Let me see – Me first – I can't believe it!'
'Girls, girls,' Juliette said, 'please behave yourselves. Let the new girls take a better look.'
The three objects were passed around, so that one was finally given to Marcelline, one to Odile, and one to me.
The object I had in my hand was a long cylinder, about two feet in length. One end was rounded and about one inch across. From there, the object increased in diameter, so that the other end was nearly ten times as wide.
Upon closer inspection, I could see that this object was neatly painted. Small lines, painted at regular intervals, ran around the circumference of this item, giving it the aspect of a measuring tool of some sort. Within the strips that the lines created, were little scenes that depicted various sexual acts. On the first strip, starting from a smaller side, was a couple of lovers bending towards each other and kissing in a chaste manner. On the second, the lovers were naked and lying on the bed. On the second, the woman was on all fours and received the man from behind.
As these scenes progressed towards the larger end of the object, their content became more and more obscene. At one point, the couple was joined by a second woman. This woman then departed and was substituted by a man. Then, the woman disappeared, and the men were left to please each other. Finally, the scene developed into an infernal sabbat with a great number of lovers, all engaged in the most different acts.
'It's called The Stations of the Cunt!' Gabrielle explained. 'It's made of leatherbound timber. Very expensive, of course. I believe it comes from some Ottoman market.'
The other girls giggled again.
'Where did you find it?' someone asked.
Gabrielle explained that her father's lover had dozens, if not hundreds of such toys, and she doubted very much whether she would notice their absence.
'You girls are lucky. We used to do this with wine bottles,' Juliette said. 'Now, let me explain to you the rules of your welcome party: we will see who can fit the most of these toys between your thighs.'
Here there was some protestation. Someone said:
'Aren't we supposed to see who comes first?'
'Last year that's how we did it!' someone added.
'That's true, that's true,' Juliette said, clearly unsure of what the best way to proceed was.
'But it's too easy if you stop at the first scene. It's almost too small!' someone else said.
'That's true!' someone else added.
'I hope none of you is a virgin…' someone else butted in with a laugh.
'Do you remember last year?'
'That was such a mess…'
This went on for some time, then Juliette said:
'First, we will see how far you can put it in. We will judge whether you go in far enough or not. Then, you will have to please yourself until you come.'
Marcelline, the tall and awkward girl, looked pale and worried, and she said she felt unwell, and she didn't want to do it.
'What if we refuse to do it?' I asked.
The room laughed again.
'You're free to do as you wish, Eloise,' Juliette said.
'Assuming you want to be served more water tomorrow, instead of the morning pudding,' Gabrielle added.
So, this was it: Juliette had so much power in the school to ensure that the students that crossed her would be starved until they proved their obedience to her.
'I guess it could be good fun,' Odile said, staring at the phallus in her hand.
'That's the spirit!' Juliette said.
Marcelline, still trembling, said that this sort of games was not for her and demanded to be excused.
'Let's make it more interesting,' Juliette now said. 'You three must be quite hungry… The first to come will get some cake tonight. The second will have a good breakfast. The last one will have no food until supper tomorrow.'
Marcelline looked at me.
Feeling rather hungry myself and seeing that, at the present moment, I had no way of fighting Juliette, I shrugged my shoulders and said:
'That's fine by me.'
Juliette looked pleased:
'So, Marcelline, what's the difficulty. You can't tell me you're a virgin…'
The other girls giggled again.
'No, no… It's not that.'
'Little whorish Marcelline…' Juliette continued, 'are you telling me you've lain with a man before?'
Marcelline blushed.
'Who was it? You can tell your friends,' Juliette said.
'The boy in the stables,' Marcelline whispered.
There was a roar of laughter.
'Then you won't see any difficulty in stuffing yourself with that,' Juliette insisted.
Marcelline, tall, awkward, looked down at the object in her hands.
'I'll do as you say, Juliette,' she whispered.
The other girls clapped.
They pushed three beds against the wall, so that Marcelline, Odile, and I could take one each. They instructed us to lean with our backs against the wall and to spread our legs so that everyone could admire the sight of our penetration.
Gabrielle now gave us some ointment to aid the penetration and explained:
'This is the greatest lubricant you can buy in Paris.'
Odile brought the small bottle to her nose and giggled.
Marcelline looked at hers with some apprehension.
I listened to the girls who started making bets over who could take in more, or who would come first.
Odile was the first to lift her nightgown. She had pink, fleshy thighs, and a carefully trimmed fur on her pussy. She had a round body with plump breasts. Everything about her was vivacious, and alive. Her broad smile rarely left her lips.
She put the head of the phallus against her opening.
'Patience, patience,' Juliette said. 'You're too eager…' Here everyone laughed. 'Please wait for your two friends to get ready.'
I lifted my nightgown, spread my thighs, and showed my pussy to the girls who were sitting on the floor before me, looking up with great curiosity.
Marcelline, all trembling, lifted the hems of her gown.
'Now, spread those legs. Let us see…' Juliette said.
Marcelline slowly pried her legs apart to reveal a thick, unkempt bush of hair between her large thighs.
People laughed at this sight.
'Girls, girls… Please be quite!' Juliette instructed. 'Marcelline, Odile, Eloise, you can begin.'
I was now feeling very hungry and didn't want to waste any time. I rubbed the ointment on that unusual toy and pushed its first part in.
It was quite smooth and of a small enough size to fit in pleasantly.
I turned towards Odile and saw that she had put quite a long stretch of her toy inside her vagina.
'This is quite nice,' she said.
I gathered that she was indeed eager to try this novelty and was not shy to try it.
Marcelline had put in no more than the tip.
'Now, now, Marcelline, you need to do better,' Juliette said.
Marcelline was biting her lip.
'Nobody will think badly of you,' Juliette continued. 'We all enjoy a good fuck, you know!'
Marcelline pushed the phallus in by an imperceptible degree and gave a little breathless cry.
Meanwhile, Odile was now fucking her toy with great relish. She was sighing greatly.
I pushed mine in a little further, and, noticing how its girth increased, gave a little yelp. I pushed in again and found a good position where I felt filled and stretched in a satisfactory way. Then, I began to move it back and forth.
All the while, Juliette had become impatient over Marcelline's reticence. She was now sitting next to her and observed the proceedings. So, she asked:
'What do you say, girls? Is this enough?'
Everyone cried:
'No!'
'Marcelline,' Juliette said, 'it is my duty as prefect to take over.'
She then placed a hand on top of Marcelline's and pushed the object a little further into the girl's opening.
'Aaah!' Marcelline moaned.
Her eyes widened. She looked towards Juliette with a mixture of worry and incipient pleasure.
'See, Marcelline,' Juliette continued, 'see how nice this is?'
She pushed it in some more.
'You can fit it, can't you? Here you go. Now, let's move it back… and forth… Back… and forth…'
Marcelline, her mouth wide open, couldn't make a sound. It was as if she couldn't even breathe. Then, she gave out a little cry:
'Aaaah! Juli – ette!'
'That's it. Keep going,' Juliette said.
'Odile has gone all the way to the woman who's taking it in all three holes!' Gabrielle said then. 'Even I can't do that!'
There was an applause for Odile, but Odile wasn't paying attention.
Her head was tilted back. Her eyes were shut. She was now moaning and gasping loudly:
'Ah… Ohhh! Fuck… Yeah… Aaah!'
Her pink thighs were bright coral. Her hands were guiding the phallus in and out of her opening. Now and then, she raised one hand to squeeze one of her breasts, or to suck her fingers between her lips, as if this offered her some consolation from a great pain.
'And how are we going, Eloise?' Juliette said.
She was now next to me, looking down towards my crotch.
I was determined not to show how affected I was by the use of this new instrument, which was indeed very pleasurable.
'What a nice pussy you have. Quite neat and well-tended. Let's mess it up a little,' she said.
Juliette then pushed the toy a little further inside me. I felt the tip move in and the larger girth of the base widen my opening.
I couldn't hold a little scream of pleasure:
'Aaaah!'
Juliette laughed, knowing she had called my bluff and made me show my secret pleasure.
At this time, Marcelline, unaided, was masturbating with great relish and without restraint. In her passion, she now made loud sounds, like the squawking of a big bird, which she indeed resembled.
'Ah – ah – ah – ah!' she cried.
Juliette was still guiding my instrument and stoking the flame to a great fire.
'Wouldn't it be a pity if you came last,' Juliette then whispered to me.
Then, I felt the rhythm of her hand slow down and the pressure of the phallus reduce as she was pulling some of it out.
I knew this meant I would have to fast longer than the rest.
I tried to push the object back in, but Juliette was holding it back.
Now, the cry of Odile's orgasm filled the room:
'My good God, I'm coming!'
She kept moving the toy back and forth with great energy for a little longer, wanting to milk all the remaining pleasure till the last drop.
I now noticed that Marcelline's cries were also louder and her moaning more insistent:
'Ah – ah – ah!'
'She's put in a little more!' someone said.
'Look at that!' another said.
'I thought she was ripe for the nunnery…'
'More like the whore house!'
'How far in did she go?'
'I think it's the two male lovers!'
Everyone commented that Marcelline was indeed a cock-hungry whore.
Marcelline had her legs wide apart. She was shaking wildly. Finally, she cried out:
'Aaaah! I've never…. Oh myyyy…. Mmmmhh!'
Now, Juliette lifted her hand, and, with a few movements, I finished myself.
'Poor Eloise, so pretty and yet so cold. The last one to come,' Juliette commented.
The three phalluses were then taken away from us three, so that the other girls could inspect them. They were all curious to see the traces of our penetrations, how deep each one of us might have gone, if there was any difference between the three toys that might explain Odile's victory.
A large cake was produced at this point. A large slice was given to Odile.
Marcelline was asked to abstain but was promised a generous breakfast. She was thanked profusely for her good nature and complimented for the good performance.
As the loser of this contest, I was largely ignored, unless it was to remind me that I would have to miss breakfast and lunch the next day.