Chapter Two
I inched forward to snatch it from her but she steps back. My eyes narrows with contempt. "Mom, why did you go through my stuff?"
Her face furrows. "Really? That's the question you could ask?" She shakes her head like she was disappointed in me. "Is this how I trained you, to sleep around without getting married to him?"
"Mom, I'm an adult. I'm 26 not 15, so I'm responsible for my actions," I shot back.
"Oh really? What if you get pregnant?" she asks, her eyes glazing at me.
"That's why I'm using protection. What? You expect not to have sex with my boyfriend for over five years now? Quit joking, mom. I'm not virgin, Mary!" I retort, my voice rising. "You know what? I'm out of here."
"Sofia, we're still talking!" My mom yells after me, but I didn't care.
I slam the door behind me and foot it out of the house without a second thought of where I was going. What is my mom thinking for her to say that? I can't believe it. She really wants me to stay a virgin until I get married? She would have lived by example then, rather than have me before she got married to my dad.
I stormed down the sidewalk, my heart pounding with a mix of anger and disbelief. How could my mom go through my things like that? And the nerve to lecture me about sex, as if I'm some clueless teenager. Lily needs to hear about this, she has to tell me if her mom prey on her like my mom does.
I reach Lily's door, my breath coming out in frustrated huffs as I knock sharply. The door opens a crack, and Lily's face appears, a surprised smile on her lips.
"Sofia? What are you doing here?" she asks, her tone light, but there's something off, like she wasn't expecting visitors.
"Lily, do you have some liquor? I need to drown down a bottle, my mom just pissed me off," I blurt out, already pushing past her.
"Uh, Sofia, actually–" Lily starts, trying to block the entrance with her body, but I'm too caught up with my anger to notice. I push the door open and stride inside.
The first thing I see is Ryan, half-naked, sitting on the couch in Lily's living room. Time seems to freeze as my mind struggles to process what I'm seeing. Ryan's eyes widen in shock, and he stood up from the couch, taking a step back, as if the distance will somehow erase the sight of him with his shirt off in another's woman apartment.
"Sofia, I can explain…" Lily stammers behind me, but the words don't reach me.
All I can hear is the echo of Ryan's voice, the same one that just hours ago had been whispering sweet nothings to me in his bed. "Kiss me one more time." The memory sends a cold shiver down my spine, and I feel a wave of nausea roll through me.
"Sofi, please this isn't what it looks like," Ryan finally speaks, his voice strained.
My gaze snaps to him, the anger I'd been feeling towards my mom quickly redirected to him. "Isn't it? Then what the hell is it, Ryan?" my voice is ice cold, and I don't recognize the venom in it.
Lily rushes forward, her hands held up as if to physically stop the tension from boiling over. "Sofia, please listen, we were just talking–"
"Just talking? In your apartment? With Ryan half-naked?" I cut her off, not even sparing her a glance. My eyes were locked on Ryan, searching for any sign of remorse, but all I see is panic.
"It's all your fault, Sofi," Ryan says, his voice lacking emotions.
I gasp at his nerves. "Oh, you're blaming me now for cheating?"
"Yes, Sofi. I wanted us to get married for so long now, but all you do is bring up excuses of why we can't get married yet–"
I step forward and threw a hard slap on his face. The slap echoes in the room, the sound sharp and jarring in the heavy silence that follows. Ryan stumbles back, his hand flying to his cheek where the red mark of my palm is already blooming.
"You bastard!" I scream, my voice trembling with a mix of rage and betrayal. "How dare you try to blame this on me? You've been sleeping with her behind my back, and you have the audacity to say it's my fault?"
For a moment no one moves. The air is thick with tension, and I can feel the heat rising in my chest, fueled by the betrayal that's burning through me. Ryan slowly turns his head back to face me, his cheek reddening from the slap.
"You…you're unbelievable, Ryan. I can't believe you're trying to make this my fault. How could you?" I spit out, my voice unsteady.
"Sofia, please, just calm down," Lily pleads, her voice shaky. She reaches out to touch my arm, but I jerk away, not wanting her anywhere near me.
"Don't you dare tell me to calm down!" I snap, finally turning to face her. The hurt in her eyes is unmistakable, but it's drowned out by the fury blazing inside me. "How long, Lily? How long have you been fucking my boyfriend?"
Lily's lips trembles as she tries to find the words. "I'm sorry, Sofia. I swear we never meant to hurt you."
"Oh really? Never meant to hurt me?" I repeat, my voice a low, dangerous whisper. "You've been screwing my boyfriend, and yet you never meant to hurt me?"
"It's complicated, Sofi," Ryan interjects, still holding his cheek. "We've been talking, and I didn't want to hurt you. But you never wanted to commit, and I was just… I was lost, Sofi."
"Lost?" I echo, my voice dripping with disbelief. "You were lost, so you decide to fuck my neighbor next-door who happens to be friend? That's the best way you could find yourself?"
Ryan gaze drops to the floor, unable to meet my eyes anymore. "I…I-"
"I what?" I snap, cutting him off, my voice rising with each word. "I'm trying to be responsible, to make sure we don't end up struggling when we get married. And this is how you repay me, by sneaking around with my…neighbor or should I say friend?"
"I'm sorry, Sofi. You don't just understand. I've been patient, waiting for you, but every time you keep choosing your responsibilities over me. Every time I tried to talk about our future, you shut me down. What was I supposed to do? Wait around forever?" he reply, his eyes which had once looked at me with love, now held nothing but…irritation.
I felt my entire body go rigid as his words sank in. My hands clenched into fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms, and once again I felt like slapping him.
"You wanted to get married, so this is how you push me to say yes? By sleeping with her? Wasn't I enough for you? All I wanted was for us to be financially stable before taking such a huge step. But here I am, be punished for it," my voice trembles with fury.
"Please I'm sorry, Sofi, forgive me. I never wanted it to come to this," Ryan said, his voice softens.
"Well, it has. I just wasted five years of my life loving you. If I had mastered a skill such as goldsmithing, I would have been a professional goldsmith by now. But I used that time to build something which I never knew would not work out," I reply, my voice a bit steadier now. "I trusted you, Ryan. Why didn't you just tell me you can't wait for me? Why do you have to make a fool out of me?"
Ryan opens his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand, I don't want to hear it. I'm done listening to him twist the blame.
"Save it. You're trying to play the victim here. You don't get to blame me for this. If you were unhappy, you should have said something. But this in my opinion is…cowardice. You and Lily can have each other," I say, my voice now laced with cold, bitter anger.
I turn on my heel, ready to storm out of the apartment and out of their lives for good, but Lily grabs my arm, desperation in her grip. I glance at her, and for a second, I see regret and guilt in her eyes, but it's too late. The damage is done.
"Sofia, please don't go," she begs, tears welling up her eyes. "We can talk about this, we can fix it. Don't just leave like this."
I yank my arm free, glaring at her. "Fix it? You really think we can fix this?" I sigh sharply shaking my head. "You're really delusional if you think this can be fixed. There's nothing left to fix. You've both shown me who you really are, that you can never be trusted. I hope you're happy together."
With that, I walk out of the apartment, slamming the door behind me with a finality that makes my heart ache. I can't believe this is happening. Just an hour ago, I was lying in Ryan's arms, feeling secure and loved. Now, everything feels shattered.
As I step out into the cool evening air, I feel tears stinging my eyes, but I blink them away, refusing to let them fall.
I need to keep moving, to get away from this mess, from the betrayal, from everything. But as I walk down the street, the weight of it all crashes down on me. My steps falter, and I find myself leaning against a lamppost and I slid down to my knees. Tears began to flow freely and I couldn't hold back the sobs anymore.
Ryan was supposed to be my rock, not my weakness. I thought I had everything under control, that I was handling my life the best I could. How did everything go so wrong within a fleet of a second?
Where do I go from here? What would I do with my life now? My source of happiness that keeps me going is no longer there, would I be able to survive without him?