The morning air was cold and crisp. Laurie and I sat on the empty beach, having the view and the sound of waves all to ourselves. He was wearing a brown patterned wool scarf his mother had given him. It had since gone out of style, yet he insisted on wearing it every winter.
"You didn't tell me about the house," I said softly. "Why?"
He didn't seem surprised when he was asked. The sun shone on his face, and he squinted: "Wesley told me to keep quiet until the deal is done."
"Wesley?" I was amazed. "I didn't think you'd talk to him."
"I have to admit I was reluctant," he shrugged. "But I thought it'd be a good idea to listen to someone experienced in this line of work."
I smiled. Earlier, I was ready to take the responsibility and consequence of causing an argument by asking him. Now, I was glad.
"Although I wish you had told me," I said, "I'm proud of you for being mature."
"You're talking to me like I'm a child," he pretended to be annoyed.
"I'm sorry," I wrapped my arm around his, "forgive me?"
He smiled and turned to look at the vastness of the ocean.
"On another note," I grew serious again, "I heard you spoke to Lizzie."
"I didn't go to her. She came to me," he held my hand. "She thinks it's a bad idea to let the Italians stay, and she wants me to get away from this family."
"She said the same thing to me," I frowned.
"She fears Thomas will run the family to the ground someday," he continued nonchalantly. "She asked me if I had a plan. I didn't want to tell her, but she pleaded."
"What about Emma?" I asked out of concern. "Doesn't she worry about Emma?"
"I asked the same question," he became a little somber. "She said Emma should be fine, at least for now, since she has Wesley."
"Why would Emma be safe, but you wouldn't?" I was perplexed.
"Even though Thomas doesn't say it and pretends like he doesn't care, he worries that our affair will come to light," he squeezed my hand. "It'll be an irreparable scandal and detrimental to the family. Since he has Wesley now, he has no reason to keep you around any longer."
"I'm no longer of use to him," I said bitterly. I had no right to feel betrayed, but I did. In the end, I was nothing. I was nowhere near as significant as I thought in this family. And now, I was being discarded gradually. I should feel relieved. Yet, I couldn't.
"Lizzie said she guesses that Thomas is waiting to see what would happen to Ferguson," Laurie licked his lips, sounding nervous and worried. "Then he'll decide from there. Anne, we don't have much time left. We ought to act fast."
-----
I married Thomas on a Saturday. It was a grand affair in the Bel Air House. A white, silk, long-trained, bias-cut dress was custom made for me by a famous French designer whose name I had no recollection of. Thomas wore a black suit, the same suit he wore to Lizzie's wedding some years prior. People hurried to and away from me through those heavy wooden doors of the sunroom. My sunken cheeks were colored, my coarse hair was curled, I was slipped into that dress, and a carefully arranged bouquet was placed in my hands. Did I have a veil? I must've had one, although I couldn't recall much about it except Lizzie's complaint about how wasteful it was to embroider diamonds on a veil. And those shoes, those high-heeled shoes, were horrible to dance in. I wondered whether I'd be permitted to wear better shoes if Laurie was facing me at the altar.
Everyone was happy and cheery when their cups were never empty. Everyone except Laurie. He had no choice but to be there. Purposefully, he stood as far away from me as he was allowed to. I had never seen him drink that much before or after that day. He moodily told Lizzie off when she tried to talk some sense into him.
They stood when I stepped into the hall, walking down the aisle as the organ played. Even Lindley was smiling next to his second wife. He was proud to be there that day, to witness the birth of a new God, and to be part of the circle he had no ethical business in.
I caught him eyeing Emma as I passed him.
Already planning the third, I thought, it would be hard to convince Thomas to give up his precious wager.
Flynn was the ring bearer, and Harper walked next to him. The children were the only happy ones without the need for alcohol. Flynn turned his chubby cheeks to me and smiled ear to ear, showing his missing front tooth. Careless, he tripped on a wrinkle of the carpet but was lucky to catch his balance. Red and embarrassed, he turned back to focus on his path.
At the altar, I said my vows, promising my life and devotion to a man I did not love. Though I managed to say I loved him to him, to the others, and to myself. But there was no denying that it began and ended with greed. I hoped, wished, and prayed that greediness was enough to get me through the rest of my days. In front of all the people presented that day, I swore to give everything I had and everything I would have to love and obey that man.
Laurie got into a fight later that day. He left the Bel Air House earlier than the others without Thomas noticing. He said trouble found him without him looking for it. He said he went to a bar and planned to drink his blues away, knowing there was nothing he could do to change anything, and I wasn't his concern anymore. All he wanted was to be left alone, in peace, in the presence of liquor.
An equally drunken man recognized him and went up to him. He called Laurie a pretty boy and rowdily mocked him by saying he couldn't keep a career alive even though he had a sister in Hollywood. He dismissed Laurie's explanation that he had left acting voluntarily. He claimed Laurie was nothing but a pretty face, a leech to society, and that he wouldn't survive a single day in the real world if he weren't unfairly rich. Laurie told the man that he could say whatever he wanted, but it wouldn't change the fact that he was a peasant and had to break his back to make ends meet.
Then it happened. The man punched Laurie in the face, and Laurie hit back. The cops were called, and they were separated. Lindley called Thomas, and in the middle of the night, still in his wedding suit, Thomas went to bail his brother out.
Laurie said that night, when he came out of the jail and saw Thomas; there was not only the expected anger but also pity and sadness in Thomas' eyes. Thomas scolded him for saying such things to that man and told him that he was no better than any other man. He was only lucky.