"I have no idea why they thought you'd be able to do something about this boy; there's no saving him," said Tsunade, shaking her head. "He is falling apart from the inside— most of his internal organs are on the verge of failing, and his cells are undergoing autolysis— they're breaking down and spreading necrosis to neighbouring cells, before they even have the chance to get replaced. It would take a miracle to save him..."
And it wasn't even the good kind of breaking down either, like apoptosis; the toxins seeping out of his bones kept accumulating in his body, causing his cells to die prematurely…
"Then, why don't we make this our gamble?" Sakura proposed. "If you think it's impossible, you can't possibly lose."
"Fine then, I accept," said Tsunade in a huff. "And I'll even throw in my necklace if you win, as a bargain."
Sakura's face fell. Did Tsunade hate her, or something?
'That's a death flag if I've ever seen one,' Inner Sakura pointed out.
Supposedly, the necklace was cursed— if anyone but its rightful owner, Senju Tsunade, tried to wear it, they would inevitably die! So far, it had killed Senju Nawaki and Katō Dan… and Sakura had no intention of becoming just another statistic!
"You can do it, onee-sama!" Karin cheered her on. "And if all else fails, you can use my blood!"
If Sakura's previous life's netizens' theories were indeed correct, then the Purifying Slash would definitely have an effect! And if they were wrong, well… Sakura knew how to handle Tsunade.
The barrel which contained Kimimaro stood about as high as Sakura's waist, so to peer over the rim and see the entirety of its contents, Sakura only needed to bend over slightly, which was a good thing— if she were to lean any further, her large globes would definitely flop out of her ill-fitting dress.
…
Moving along, all sword-based Manyuu abilities could also be executed with bare hands, so Sakura gathered chakra onto her right hand and karate chopped Kimimaro; while using her left hand to hold back her bust, to avoid accidentally flashing her patient.
"Purifying Slash!"
Tsunade watched carefully as Sakura's hand phased right through Kimimaro's body.
It actually somewhat reminded her of the Healing Ninjutsu methodology to eliminate heavy metal-based toxins from the body: using water style to create a bubble that can be phased in and out of the patient's body; to gradually draw toxic metals out of the bloodstream via osmosis. It's an approach that works just fine for heavy metal poisoning, since water is a polar solvent and heavy metal ions possess an electrical charge; and as such, can easily dissolve into water.
However, this did not mean that this particular detoxifying procedure would work on just any old poison. Indeed, the toxins in Kimimaro's body are complex proteins which possess a net neutral charge. In other words, they are insoluble in water— which meant that the only way to prevent his Kekkei Genkai from poisoning him any further was constant dialysis, which couldn't remove the toxins already embedded within his tissues; only maintain his current state of health. And needless to say, the activation of the Shikotsumyaku would only cause his condition to rapidly and irrevocably worsen!
All that to say… Kimimaro's condition was terminal, and his lifespan could only be slightly lengthened by the machines filtering his blood. That is, unless, a certain someone used their cheats…
...
"OUCH!" Sakura screamed after a while, hurriedly withdrawing her hand from Kimimaro's chest.
Tsunade made a few hand signs and spat out a blast of water at Sakura, effectively pressure washing off the black ooze that coated her hand, before leaning over to check inside the barrel.
Kimimaro's face had regained some colour, but he still seemed pretty miserable to her— so, Tsunade repeated her medical examination; poking and prodding at him with her chakra, until she was forced to come to the conclusion that he was indeed cured. He hadn't miraculously recovered from the damage the toxins had wrought, but the contaminants pervading his body had all disappeared!
Somehow, the pink-haired girl had done it— by using medical Ninjutsu beyond her knowledge…
"I think I got all of it," said Sakura, wincing slightly. "So, do we have your blessing, Lady Tsunade?"
"How did you do it?" asked Tsunade pointedly. "Is this some new procedure the medical-nin association came up with, while I was gone?"
Obviously, Sakura couldn't tell the truth; that her Kekkei Genkai was something that the shinobi world had never seen before, and that it had been fabricated by the System to act as her cheat!
"I have no idea!" babbled Sakura, as she prepared to spin her web of lies. "It's a Jutsu that came along with my Kekkei Genkai. Kakashi-sensei told me I was the only person in living memory to have awakened it, and apparently, there's no record of it appearing at any time in history. He thinks my Kekkei Genkai might have existed among oiran before the era of the villages, which would explain my detoxification abilities, but there's no way to tell for sure."
As a glorified high-class prostitute, the last thing a kunoichi moonlighting as an oiran would have wanted was the death of an important customer, while… entertaining him. So, it did make a bit of sense for her Kekkei Genkai to grant her the ability to save a client from any type of assassination attempt; but the point was moot, since Sakura was lying through her teeth about her origin story.
Still, while her Kekkei Genkai might have never existed in the past, it certainly did exist now…
If Sakura ever had daughters, then they would also have a chance to inherit the Manyuu-Munamori physique and Sakura's breast-stealing legacy, along with the rest of the Kekkei Genkai she'd collect along the way. And if Sakura had sons, then they would pass on the genes to their daughters!
"I— I need to think," said Tsunade, as she slumped to the ground next to the unconscious Shizune.
"You're not going to go back on your word, Lady Tsunade?" said Neji coolly, speaking for the first time. "…are you?"
Tsunade shook her head slightly, her gaze distant…
It certainly looked like she had a lot of thinking to do, so Sakura decided to redeem the rewards that the System had promised her. There was her promotion to I-Cup, and the prize for hunting down Tsunade!