"This concludes the preliminary stage of the third exam," the Third Hokage said jovially. "However, bear in mind that even though this will be a tournament-style exam, the winner might not necessarily become a Chūnin. Even so, as long as you demonstrate the qualities expected of our Chūnin, there is still a chance for any one of you, even those who have failed any of the previous exams, to graduate! Understood? Well, then… dismissed!"
'I'm calling it right now,' said Inner Sakura. 'They're still going to make Shikamaru a Chūnin.'
The shocked silence was gradually replaced with the hushed whispers of the Genin, as they turned towards their teammates to discuss the third exam's tournament brackets. One by one, the Jōnin-in-charge came to fetch their respective Genin teams, until finally, only a few people were left in the arena.
"Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura— come here for a moment," said Kakashi, beckoning them over to him.
"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said excitedly, as he ran up to him. "We're gonna need some amazing training if we're gonna win this tournament!"
"There can't be three champions, Naruto," said Sakura flatly. "Besides, the point isn't to win, it's to show off our skills…"
Fighting to win was definitely important, but it was also necessary to know one's limits. They had already shown their willingness to risk their own futures during Morino Ibiki's exam, so the judges would now be looking for the wisdom to know when one was beaten… such as when Shikamaru had resigned against Temari. There were indeed some missions that had to be accomplished at any cost, but for the rest of them, prioritizing safety was usually the most important thing.
Raising shinobi was expensive, after all…
"Well, you're right about one thing, Naruto," said Kakashi, scratching his head. "You'll all need some serious training to even stand a chance against your opponents. However, since I'd have my hands full training just one of you, I won't be teaching all three of you."
"I bet it's gonna be Sasuke!" Naruto protested. "This isn't fair!"
'This isn't fair!' Inner Sakura echoed!
"Now, now," said Kakashi calmly, in an attempt to appease Naruto. "There's no need to worry, I've found the both of you teachers, who are even more reliable than me. In fact, here they are now…"
As if they had received some secret signal, two tall men simultaneously flickered to Kakashi's sides; the first dressed in dark blue clothes from head to toe, and wearing sunglasses indoors; the second wearing a flak jacket and chain-smoking cigarettes!
"Ah!" Naruto exclaimed. "It's that perv!"
Here they were, the closet pervert trio, finally assembled:
Tokubetsu Jōnin Ebisu, who had been defeated by Naruto's Harem Jutsu, an A-rank Ninjutsu! Jōnin Hatake Kakashi, who was addicted to reading smut! And Jōnin Sarutobi Asuma, who Sakura was treating as a pervert by association, due to his Sarutobi blood! I mean, just look at Hiruzen and Konohamaru!
These three weren't extraordinary perverts on Jiraiya's level, and neither would they act upon their desires— which is what made them closeted perverts by definition—, but you could be certain that there would be nothing but lewd things going on inside their heads at any given time!
"Follow me," said Asuma wearily. "We've got places to be."
Sticking around to watch Naruto and Ebisu arguing would have been fun and all, but training beckoned!
And so, once Sasuke had returned the Manyuu Blade to her, Sakura followed Asuma out of the tower and out of the Forest of Death. However, instead of their destination being another one of Konoha's many training grounds, Sakura soon discovered that Asuma was taking her back to the village. Were they going to be training in the Sarutobi family's grounds?
A few minutes later, the unlikely pair were standing in front of Konoha Hospital.
"Asuma-sensei?" said Sakura, looking at Asuma questioningly.
"I promised Shikamaru I'd play a game with him today," Asuma said, shrugging. "Also, Ino wanted to talk to you about something…"
It seemed like Ino hadn't forgotten about the special breast cream she'd promised her…
"We're past visiting hours, so we'll have to avoid the reception area," Asuma continued, winking at her. "Follow me, I already know the way…"
Acting nonchalantly, Asuma navigated his way to the back of the hospital; after looking left and right to make sure nobody was watching, he ran up the side of the building and slid open the third window from the left on the fifth floor, before quickly slipping inside. Making a quick Tiger seal to help her focus, Sakura gathered chakra under her feet and lightly ran up the building, but just as she was passing the fourth floor, she saw some familiar faces through a window.
Team Dosu!
Sakura made a mental note of the Sound-nin's location, before following Asuma through the window that he had left open for her and dropping inside Team 10's hospital ward.
"Did you bring snacks, sensei?" Chōji was asking Asuma, a gluttonous expression on his face. "Hospital food doesn't taste good, and they won't let us have crisps…"
"Sorry, Chōji," said Asuma apologetically. "Bringing junk food into the hospital is against regulations."
"Because sneaking in through the window isn't?" Shikamaru fired back lazily.
Shikamaru and Asuma were in the middle of setting up a game of shogi on Shikamaru's hospital bed; they were looking pretty engrossed in what they were doing, so Sakura figured it would take a while before Asuma would address her training situation.
Shogi board detected— would the Host like to play a game against the System's A.I.? The Shogi app is but one of the System's many entertainment functions, including but not limited to: chess, Go, Othello, checkers, mahjong, Gomoku…
'Yep,' said Inner Sakura. 'You're still mad about me calling your functions vague, huh?'
"Sakura, over here!"
Ino was beckoning to her from her bed; she was sharing the ward with the boys, since her bed had curtains to act as separators for her privacy.
"So…" said Ino slightly sullenly. "I heard you passed the second exam and the prelims."
"Yeah…"
An awkward silence fell upon the two girls, punctuated only by the sounds of Shogi pieces being placed and of Chōji noisily devouring the contents of a bag of crisps (it turned out that Asuma had actually brought some for him).
"You risked everything," Ino continued, her eyes distant. "Just to make sure we were fine. Even though I'm the greatest obstacle standing between you and Sasuke— Why?"
"You certainly have a high opinion of yourself, huh?" Sakura commented. "Anyway… You would have done the same for us if you'd been in my position, right? Besides… I owed you guys for saving us. Team 7 wouldn't have made it to the finals if it hadn't been for you."
Outside of the curtain dividers, the rest of Team Asuma collectively rolled their eyes. Just say that you're best friends again and make up, already…