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***
My chest prints were left on my face this morning, just as I thought, Sabretooth tried to kill me this night too, supervillain after all. Maybe I should pump up and kick them out of the house.
* heartbreaking memories of a door ripped out of the wall *
One of them is so damn strong, one of them jumps walls, one of them throws fire, and one of them is Mystic, my house is clearly not going to survive the impact. But will it survive the living?
Okay, enough thinking about the bad stuff, I need to get ready for my date. I read a couple of Breena's interviews yesterday about what kind of guys she likes... Let's get ready to meet their complete opposite! I'll be sure to fly out of this show!
.....
- ...
- ...
Today at breakfast, everyone was acting completely different, openly staring at me, and Mystique wasn't playing the confused mummy.
- What's with the complicated faces? - Practising my image, I said through gritted teeth.
- It's nothing... - they turned their heads to their food.
- Haa.... Haa... - all except the neighbour, who's eating at our place again for some reason! Why does Mystique let her in? - Peter. Can you do a cosplay tomorrow, sweetie? Go out in your pink animal pyjamas?
- Can you stop breathing? - Damn, I'm good.
- Peter, don't be rude! - even Mystique gave me a disapproving look.
- Yeah, it's not nice to hurt other people's feelings! - added NEWT.
- ...Said the terrorists.
- All right, young man, that's enough! - Mystique sharply poked her cooked steak on my plate and with one mouthful, swallowed it. - Shcha shtoor zhuzhno feshti whispering batabaushche! (Behave at the table!)
- ...Someone got caught. - Hairy added the remark with a smile.
- Haa... Before you teach manners, you should chew first, that's first. And secondly, if such a supporter of manners, then teach Sabretooth not to use my head as an inter-chest tab. - all turned sharply to the pale Hairy, whose immediate reaction was to swallow the steak. - Well, I'm off.
Putting on my leather jacket, I ran my hands through my hair, taking care to make it look unkept. Wait for me Breena, your worst date ever is coming up!
**Brina. Hard Rock Cafe**
Yeah, the vibe in this place is pretty bad. Graffiti-stained tables and walls, weird upholstery on the furniture, the smell of cigarettes, a wide bar, loud music that won't stop playing. If I had to praise this place, all I could say is that it has character.
- Haa... - but okay, even though I don't like it, I should be more lenient on the boy.
Still, Theresa is right about the unstable psyche of a teenager, and even more so in light of those tweets. How can people be such freaks? It's like he did something to them. I hope he's strong enough to overcome the online bullying.
Suppressing my inner turmoil, I waved towards the hidden camera. In light of the fact that I was a grey mouse against the background of the other visitors, no one had paid attention to me for a long time. Rather, everyone was looking at the handsome man having loud conversations with the bartender and the girls.
- Is he late? - On the smartphone screen, exactly one minute had passed since the appointed date time. At the same moment, the bell above the front door rang.
А?.. Is that Peter Parker?
I went to my phone images where I'd saved a picture of him before the date just in case. And there was a pretty decent-looking boy who didn't look like he'd just walked in. A guy with dishevelled hair, unshaven, wearing black glasses, a black blank t-shirt, a heavy leather jacket, loose blue jeans, and heavy boots.
- He didn't notice me...? - I whispered as he turned round sharply. Could he not see me? I'm sitting across from the entrance.
Peter walked freely toward the bartender, clearly drawing everyone's attention to himself. Although he was a bloke, it was not to be expected, but many people looked at him worriedly, because he had a certain aggression about him.
- A glass of milk. - The atmosphere dropped dramatically. The whole cafe breathed a sigh of relief, some even laughed, and some began to compare the two guys, clearly not in favour of my beau.
- Ha! Boy, maybe you should ask your mum for that? - threw the first guy.
- Hmm? Nice arse. - But to everyone's surprise, Peter not only ignored what he said, but also lowered his head in a showy way, appreciating one of the guy's girls in a punk outfit.
- What did you say? - causing him to slump back in his chair.
- Hmm? Is there a problem with me giving a pretty girl a compliment? - Parker smiled, and then his voice got heavy again. - Or is there a problem with me pointing out that with such a nice ass, she doesn't stand bent over in the lavatory of this cafe, gasping for air while she's being.... Let's just say she's being loved with all her might, but instead she's holding your arm hanging over her shoulder? I guess you're not the only one with one, huh?
- Hey, kid! - the punk with the fringes in his eyes stood up. - You watch your mouth!
- Or what? - Peter stepped closer to him, and put a hand on his shoulder, just that he did, continuing the taunting. - So? You want me to apologise, make me apologise. So far, you've only made me admit to one mistake, in that not only are you dangling, but you're short.
Barely noticeable, but Peter cast a glance in my direction a couple of times. Is he looking for my approval of this ugly behaviour?
- Fuck you. - With his head down, Punk stormed out of his seat. - What are you doing here? Go home!
The girls, who came with him, looked confused by everything that had happened, they hastily collected bags and jackets, before leaving the whole cafe said:
- "Size is not the main thing, by the way! - Blushing to the earlobes, the punk dragged his defenders away from the cafe.
Peter stood still, looking disappointed? I wonder why all of a sudden? Don't tell me he's in such a dumb way.... Was he trying to impress me? Ha, if so, is that even kind of cute?
**Peter**
- Your milk. - said the blushing barmaid, covered in piercings and tattoos.
- Thank you. - came out of me without much emotion, because my plan had completely failed.
My idea was simple, to get into a fight by being all badass. In an interview, Breena said that she likes calm and romantic guys, blushing and giving flowers, so I took the opposite image. However, my plan didn't end there, for her words could easily be a lie and she actually likes bad guys. So I was going to fall down after the first punch, showing that I was just a show-off and nobody likes them!
It was the perfect strategy and I did everything I could to provoke him and he didn't even push me! I probably should have faked breaking my arm when it came off my shoulder....
- Nothing to shed tears over missed opportunities..... - After drinking my milk and adding a stylish moustache to my look, I pretended I'd just spotted Breena by waving at her.
Okay, Parker, focus. What could be so hard about going on a bad date?
.....
*METAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL~*
Although because of the music, it does fall into the bad date category, right? At the very least, it clearly falls into the weird category.
- So, Peter, nice to meet you, I'm Breena Banner.
- Sorry, my favourite line.... Metaaaaaaaaaaaaal~! - despite this being the first time I've ever heard this song, I guessed the chorus, is it any more surprising that I could make it out...?
- It's funny. - Brina fixed her glasses, while I almost went out of character and raised an eyebrow. - It's just funny that people confuse metal and hard rock.
- Well... Metal came out of hard rock, so you could say it's a variation of it.
- Is that right? Then maybe we should classify metal as country, or ballads, or straight up acoustic?
- What are you, a metal fan and I've hurt your torn, hoarse heart?
- No, I just like to state the facts when faced with unfair opinions that, like metal, is more complex than hard rock.
- So, firstly, the genre has nothing to do with the efforts of the creator, I'm sure there may be some good fanfics somewhere....
- That's a bit of a stretch.
- I agree. As for the music. - I had a sudden realisation that shut me up.
- Is something wrong? - Yeah, namely that I'm enjoying the conversation and she's clearly enjoying it, which is not good. We need to change the subject to something that will offend her..... But what? I know!
- So, green people, what's your opinion of them?
- Erm. What's yours?
- Green's my favourite colour, so it's quite nice. - I seem to remember she's supposed to hate the Hulk, so I should take advantage of that. - Also, tall, strong girls turn me on.
**Parker's house**
- Eek!
- Sabretooth, can I get you some water?
- Nah, the hiccups will go away on their own. More importantly, you still haven't heard from Magneto. - Mystique looked round, then nodded.
- I have. I also managed to relay our whereabouts.
- Why? Shouldn't we regroup and continue to pursue the greater goal? - Sabretooth's question clearly stumped her, and Mystique didn't want to bring it up in front of Pyro and NEWT.
- I don't know. Magneto specifically told us to stay put and not to look for her. She said she'd come to us.
- To us, not after us? - both supervillains were lost in thought for a while.
- Hey, have you finished wiping down the chandelier lamp shade yet? Well, let's go to the kitchen to rearrange the shelves, the door's slanting. - and then, as supervillains should, we went about our chores. Booga-ga-ga-ga-ga?
**Brina**
At the end of a strange conversation, the meaning of which I still don't understand. We moved on with the course of the date and as if picking the worst places in my opinion, we ended up at the water park. Firstly, I can't be exposed to strong emotions or I'll turn into the Hulk, so I pass by all sorts of rides. Secondly, I don't like to be naked, swimming costume, underwear, I don't like people to see too much, and considering that the closed swimming costumes are quite tight, even in them, I think people see too much, to be honest in them I feel like a nudist.
- Haa... Weird, didn't I give an interview where I explicitly called a water park the worst place to go on a date? Apparently not everyone is diligent about preparing for the show..... - adjusting my pareo, then I ran my fingers along my sun hat and flicked them at the end. - So, let's go, shall we?
.....
When I came out, Peter was standing in his swimming trunks with a dragon flying out of the eye of a giant skull through the burning barbed wire. I wanted to make a joke about the drawing until I realised exactly where I was staring, from which I quickly averted my gaze.
- My eyes, like myself, are lower. - but I was looking too far away, with my head up to the ceiling.
.....
The main part of the date was dictated by the director, to shoot quality footage and stuff. We ate ice cream, under the right light, or rather shade, splashed water, were asked to put sunscreen on each other. All in all a routine for this show. The only thing is that we were allowed to communicate freely, having been told that the shots would most likely be included in the cut, and there would be a speech overlaid with music on top.
- No! - Having agreed to everything before, here I was in a pose.
- It's a little downhill. Plus, aren't you in control of yourself? - and why is Ripley here? She always manages to persuade me. - Besides, Peter's going down with you in the same inflatable ring.
- Ripley, do I need to remind you how the last time I turned into the Hulk on a date ended? - Poor Josh, I'm still sending his family apology flowers.
- Don't worry! - Ripley gave me a thumbs-up. - There's a waiver of charges in the contract if the contestants are assaulted!
- That's not the problem! - Josh spent what, six months in a wheelchair?
- Please, I'm sure you're in control, and remember, it's Josh's own fault for touching your breasts without permission. Peter's a weird guy in my opinion, but he wouldn't do that.
- Are you sure? - When I nodded affirmatively, I arched my eyebrows and walked over to Parker. - Peter, do you want to go down the slide?
- N-No, water slides suck, I'd rather sit languidly by the window or fight with the gang. - jerking his eyes in the direction of the slide and holding a circle around him, this time he was actually being pretty cute this time.
- Haa... Okay, let's do this. - I said with a little bit of fear.
- Awesome! Ahem! I mean, I'm disappointed in you, not languidly fighting or sitting by the window with the gang. - I got a chuckle out of him when he said that, which made me relax.
Peter actually seems like a nice guy, I'm sure it'll all work out.
**Peter**
- Haa! Phew. - Well, that wasn't a very good descent.
Our ring bounced too much, which made me lose my balance a bit, and then one thing led to another, and then we were all scattered after the fall.
- Huh? What's this in my hands and why does the film crew look so scared? - On my right wrist there was suddenly a bra, or rather a swimming costume top, which I had recently seen on my mistress.
- URRRRRR! HULKA'S HERE!