One day, when Janya was about nine years old, a different kind of couple visited the orphanage. Mr. and Mrs. Thompson were older than most of the prospective parents who came to adopt. They had never been able to have children of their own, and now, in their later years, they wanted to give a child a loving home.
The Thompsons were kind and patient, taking their time to speak with each child. When they reached Janya, they didn't seem to mind her quietness. In fact, Mrs. Thompson seemed to appreciate it. She knelt down to Janya's level, looking her in the eyes with a gentle smile.
"Hello, Janya," she said softly. "I hear you like to read. So do I. What's your favorite book?"
Janya hesitated, but there was something about Mrs. Thompson's kind eyes that made her feel safe. "I like 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland,'" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Mrs. Thompson's face lit up. "Oh, that's a wonderful book! I love how Alice finds herself in such strange and magical places. Wouldn't it be fun to visit Wonderland?"
Janya nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Mrs. Thompson's warmth made her feel a little less invisible, a little more seen.
Mr. Thompson, who had been standing quietly beside his wife, spoke up. "We'd love to take you home with us, Janya," he said, his voice kind and steady. "We think you would fit in perfectly with our family."
For the first time, Janya felt a spark of hope. Could this finally be it? Could she finally have a family of her own? Her heart raced with anticipation as she looked up at Miss Grimshaw, who was observing the interaction with a rare look of approval.
But as the Thompsons and Miss Grimshaw began discussing the logistics of the adoption, the walls that Janya had built around her heart began to rise again. What if it didn't work out? What if, after all this, they changed their minds like the others had? The fear of being rejected again was almost too much to bear.
And then, just as quickly as it had appeared, Janya's hope was shattered. Miss Grimshaw, despite her initial approval, seemed to have second thoughts.
"Janya is a wonderful girl," she said carefully, "but I must be honest with you, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson. She's very quiet, and she's had difficulty bonding with other families in the past. I just want to make sure that you're fully aware of the challenges that might come with adopting her."
Mrs. Thompson's face fell slightly, a flicker of doubt crossing her eyes. "I see," she said softly, glancing at her husband.
Mr. Thompson looked thoughtful, but he remained silent. Janya could feel the moment slipping away, the dream of a family fading as doubt crept into the Thompsons' minds. She wanted to scream, to tell them that she could be the child they wanted, that she would try her hardest to fit in. But the words stuck in her throat, trapped by the fear that had become a constant companion.
In the end, the Thompsons left without making a final decision. They promised to think about it, to consider all their options before making a choice. But But deep down, Janya knew what that meant. She had heard those words before, the same hesitant promises, the same polite reassurances. The Thompsons might have liked her, might have seen something in her, but it wasn't enough to overcome the doubts that Miss Grimshaw had planted in their minds.
As the days passed, Janya tried not to think about the Thompsons, but she couldn't help it. Every time the phone rang in Miss Grimshaw's office, her heart leapt in her chest, wondering if it was them calling to say they had made up their minds, that they wanted her after all. But each time, the call was for something else—another couple inquiring about a different child, another set of arrangements for a new adoption, but never for her.
A week later, Miss Grimshaw called Janya into her office. The headmistress's face was expressionless, a mask of professionalism that gave nothing away. Janya stood in front of her desk, her small hands clasped together, bracing herself for whatever news was to come.
"Janya," Miss Grimshaw began, her voice devoid of emotion, "the Thompsons have decided to adopt another child. They felt that a different child would be a better fit for their family."
The words hit Janya like a physical blow, knocking the breath out of her. She had prepared herself for this, had told herself over and over again that it was unlikely, that she shouldn't get her hopes up. But hearing it confirmed, hearing that once again she had been passed over, was almost too much to bear.
She nodded silently, unable to speak. Miss Grimshaw didn't offer any words of comfort, no reassurance that another family might come along. Instead, she simply dismissed Janya with a curt nod, turning her attention back to the paperwork on her desk.
Janya walked slowly back to her room, each step feeling heavier than the last. The other children, sensing her defeat, left her alone this time, their usual taunts absent. They had seen this happen too many times before, and even they understood that there was nothing left to say.