Shikimori Miyako's POV
It hurt,
Thinking hurt,
Moving hurt,
Breathing hurt,
Living...hurt.
All my life I have been feeling a pain deep inside me, everything I wished to do, I couldn't do. It was as if even moving my body would kill me. It felt like I was acting against what I was. I thought to give up trying but I can't.
'Giving up? Fuck that! I will die trying!!'
That was the thought I had when I was younger but now even I can't take it anymore. I knew I was going to end, But imagining my mother and elder brother's face, I can't help but try to endure this pain longer, my mother raised both me and my brother alone on her own efforts.
I continued life as it came at me, I became more active at school, I even started to train my body physically by engaging myself in sports to endure the pain.
Unlike the previous me, I became more outgoing and even made some friends Kyou and Yui, I invited them on my birthday too.
Soon, It was my thirteenth birthday, everything was going fine, both my friends came greeting me and giving me presents.
My mom baked my favorite cake, even my brother came out of his room, which he rarely does, although he was a bit awkward talking with my friends, he managed himself well.
I thought of that as the happiest day of my life
...until that happened.
I was ready to cut the cake at sharp six, my mom said that it was the time I was born.
The time came as just as I was bout to cut the cake, I felt the pain increase. It's always been there, aching, as I do whatever I want but today I felt it increasing.
It was unlike the regular pain, it felt as if something was inside me, biting at my heart and brain, striking my bones, cutting my tendons, shredding my skin.
I couldn't hold back anymore, I fell down, my family and friends seeing me like this approached me in concern.
""Michon""
""Miyako""
I couldn't respond to them, the pain was eating away at me so I did what I thought will distract me from pain and shouted,
"AAAAaaaaaa"
At that time even I couldn't have thought of what consequences of that action would be.
All of them, My mother, my brother, even Neko and Yui burst into blood. I looked up in horror as I saw the people I most cared about died because of me, their blood fell on me as I couldn't endure anymore and started puking.
"N-no.....no....w-what have I done. M..mama, niisan, neko, yui. Come back! Please come BACK!" I cried out as tears of blood rolled down my cheeks.
At that time, I felt something, although the intense pain had number most of my senses, this feeling gave a comforting warmth. A gold light shone in my chest. It was heating everything up, even the blood spilled started boiling up.
It was then, that everything started moving in reverse, the blood and gore spread everywhere, came together as they formed back into bodies of my loved ones, even their clothes were back as they were before.
From the corner of my eyes I even saw the hands on the clock moving in reverse. As all of this ended, I saw the bodies of my friends and family in an unconscious state, just as I was about to go and try waking them up,
I felt exhaustion hit my body as I was losing consciousness, I tried to ignore the weakness as I went near them when a voice ringed in my head, "Rest well, my child."
The male voice seemed majestic and ancient yet there was a comforting warmth to it, I slowly closed my eyes as I focused back on the warmth the voice contained....
The next day, I woke up to find out that the memories of my friends and family about that particular incident have been wiped out, they don't remember dying and coming back to life.
Though, I was still filled with guilt knowing that I almost....no....I did kill them all once.
I couldn't bring myself to face them after my initial enquiry. Mom told me that I fainted before cutting the Cake and they thought I was just suffering from mild fever, since my body temperature was a bit high.
My usual pain has dimmed down to a minimal level, it was not at the level it was before but It came like a stroke whenever my emotions were in turmoil and the pain during the strokes was unimaginable.
But I learnt about myself too...
It was sudden, after talking with mom when I woke up. I felt like I needed a shower.
In the shower, I was pondering over the events. The droplets touched my body as I felt my body cooling down. Feeling my hands shivering, I realized something
I was afraid....
Not just of the pain I was suffering from but also from potentially harming my dear ones like I did before. I wanted to be in control of that power. Yes, I experienced pain that time but there was something more too.
It was power, unadulterated raw power. At that everything seemed fragile as if with a wave of my hand I can turn everything at sight to ashes.
With power, also came the desire to use it.
To burn everything, to start a massacre.
Thinking these things gave me satisfaction that can't be explained.
But I couldn't let my desire control me as I wanted to be incharge of that power, since that power has given me so much pain, I wanted to restrain it, to chain it to forever obey me.
I came out of the shower as I faced my nude self in the mirror. I noticed the changes in my body too, my skin was fairer, my eyes brighter but what was the most noticeable was the cold and indifferent look on my face.
It was the look that recognized nobody as it's equal. I recognized this feeling, this was my true self. Suddenly I saw the self in my mirror give a crazy smile. I was shocked as I stepped back.
The one in the mirror laughed maniacally.
Two cat like white ears sprouted out from her head, her eyes glowed gold as they become feline like. Her hands grew into claws with a long shining nails. A white tail also came out if her back.
I was afraid of what was happening but I didn't back down as I stepped forward discarding the fear, as I reached out with my hands.
The one in mirror widened her eyes as she gave off a smirk. She reached out with her hand too as when both our hands touched the surface of mirror, our hands passed through as we intertwined our fingers.
"Hehehehe, so you have finally decided to accept this power nya" I heard her voice for the first time, it was exactly like mine but seemed more playful.
My eyes became firm as I replied back, "There is no point in being afraid of what I am."
"That's right! That's right! Nya But....did you really think it would come without any price nya. The power you are reaching out for is yours, That's true. But It is corrupted with a curse and it will only grow stronger from here on out. Can you really handle it nya?" She smirked as her voice became serious.
"I will take back what's mine, no matter what I have to do. Even if I have to endure pain a thousand times more vicious." I said determined. I knew I have to control this power otherwise It will try to harm my family.
"So be it. It's a challenge then nya. I will also try my all to crush your humanity." She smile playfully as I felt her hand disappear from mine.
I closed my eyes as I felt myself gaining strength although not the same as back then but I felt it increase slightly as time passed. I reopened my eyes as I look back at the mirror. I saw the same Cat woman but this time I knew that it wasn't her, it was my own reflection.
After that day, I gradually distanced myself from my friends and family.
Everyone was worried about me but I just made excuses. For an entire month, I trained myself at night controlling my power. I even learnt more about the cat girl in the mirror.
Apparently she calls herself my heretic self. She takes offense at the slightest mistake and is petty about the minimal details. I have decided to call her neko san, which she surprisingly didn't mind. When I asked her of reason, her response was,
"I am the supreme Cat goddess, Mongrel. It is only natural I am named Neko nya."
Though she did get angry my friend's name was Neko too. After a month of controlling my powers to acceptable limits, I stopped keeping my family and friends away. I apologized and made up with them.
My powers kept growing, and the harder it kept getting for me to control my powers. In the meantime as my powers increased, Neko san kept feeding me malicious thoughts too making me realize that we were not friends. It kept to the point where I had to kill some animals or thieves at night to contain my blood lust.
A year went by, the bloodthirst kept increasing but I tried my best to keep it below a facade. With bloodlust the number of painful strokes increased too.
I was approaching my 15th birthday and according to Neko san, I will gain another immense burst of power like my 13th. And this time If I mess up, there probably won't be anyone to revive my loved ones.
I was devastated knowing this but I still kept enduring as I have always had. The pain kept growing as I kept loosing control.
But at that time I didn't know that some one special was going to arrive in my life.
It was regular day, after an exhausting night of killing, I woke up to go to school. On the way I met up with Kyou and Yui. We walked together to school, talking about what we would do after school.
We reached in about 10 minutes. As we walked in, my sight fell on someone. He was a boy, probably around my age, he had a head full of silver hair cut short. Although I felt nothing supernatural on him but I couldn't seem to break my gaze away from him. I excused myself from my friends,
"I will be back in a moment."
I followed him past the gate, suddenly my instincts kicked in, as I saw a ball flying straight towards his head, "Careful." I shouted out as my body reacted subconsciously, tackling him.
*THUD*
We fell as the ball missed past us, I got up slowly as I offered him my hand with a slight smile, "Hey, you alright?"
It was then that I saw his face for the first time. My breath got stuck. How can a human be that good looking.
' 'Damn he is just my type.' '
I thought as I heard another voice in my head. It seems even Neko san was charmed.
Focusing back on the guy, he took my hand as he got up. I kept looking dumbly at him as he smiled back. I blushed seeing his smile.
"Thanks for the save"
'Even his voice is attractive' I thought to myself. "No worries" I replied back.
I kept hold of his hand as he did with mine, we both kept looking into each other's eyes. His eyes were dazzling purple, they drew me in deep. They seemed so beautiful and mysterious that I couldn't help but gaze longer. He too kept looking at me.
Then I felt it, the pain inside me started subsiding, my powers which I would have to keep in control every time got tamed immediately, even my bloodlust was almost completely erased. Inwardly I was shocked, but still kept looking at him.
A new desire replaced my previous bloody mindset, a desire to make him mine. I can't loose him under any conditions. He was my savior.
"Fuck yeah!" I heard Neko san say in my head.
Just I was going to continue to gaze into his eyes, a voice disturbed me.
"Mi chaaaan" Kyou shouted
Hearing the voice he released my hand, as we broke the eye contact.
"Noooooo! Damn human, first you copy my name, then you dare interfere with my life. Miyako kill that bitch nya" Neko san immediately went crazy, so was I but I still knew enough to keep up my facade. But seeing my ruined opportunity as the boy bid me farewell, I replied back,
'Neko san, that doesn't sound like a half bad idea.'
[Author's note - This was a chapter from the main female lead's perspective. Though I will say it, that no member of the harem will useless.
Since from the next chapter onwards the story will pick up pace, I will post all of them together. So please wait till monday.]