"Last night when you opened the door, I felt a very painful pang of hunger when I took in your scent... I just thought I was really hungry at the time but..."
She then trailed off, I just looked at her not knowing how to react to this revelation. As I watched as her expression fell, I pulled her into a hug and said.
"It's okay Leah we're going to figure something out, Okay?"
She just nodded her head and I let her go. It doesn't matter what's wrong with her, my wife is back in my arms and I sure as hell won't let her slip away from me again.
____
We went to bed in a rather low mood that night, I knew I had to figure out a solution for her but the solution that came to mind was rather ominous.
I rustled and tusled on the bed, struggling to fall asleep. I picked up my phone and read the time; 1:33 AM.
I browsed it for a bit then I felt Leah move beside me, I clicked the power button of my phone so that the glare of its screen wouldn't wake her up, she had more than enough on her mind as it was.
She turned to me and after a few moments, she whispered.
"Darell? Are you awake?"
I whispered back.
"Yeah Leah, can't sleep."
We lay quietly for a few seconds then she said.
"I noticed all my clothes are still here... why didn't you throw them out?"
"I couldn't bring myself to throw them out, I felt like if I did I would be desecrating your memory in a way."
She stayed quiet at that response and just drew closer to me. She then asked.
"How long has it been since... you know, I died."
"...Two years on the dot the day you came back. In those two years, I have been slowly but surely drowning myself in alcohol."
"I'm so sorry Darell, I-"
"There's no reason to apologize, it's not your fault you caught breast cancer Leah. But now... now you are alive and well again, I can't even put into words the joy I have felt today with you by my side."
I then pulled her into a hug and said with more sincerity than I have ever had in my life.
"I love you, Leah, more than anything. Whatever is going on with you, we will figure it out. Okay?"
"Yeah, Darell."
She then snuggled into me and we fell asleep together.
The next day was a Monday which meant I had to head off to work. Even with my overwhelming reluctance, I stealthily rolled myself out of bed and took a bath.
Then I woke up Leah and headed downstairs to make some breakfast, she tried to diswayed me but I just told her.
"Just let me take care of you, baby."
She reluctantly agreed and I headed downstairs and made some pancakes. I made sure to add something really.... special to her mix, my blood.
I wanted to test a theory. Yesterday, Leah told me I smelt like food to her, and from her tone, I could tell she was dead serious, so I felt like carrying out this little experiment should let me know if she could actually get some sustenance from me. If she could then...
When I sliced into my pinky finger on my left hand with a razor, blood dripped out for a few seconds into the bowl holding Leah's pancake batter. I immediately noticed something was off, I barely felt the prick. It was like I softly tapped the finger rather than cut it.
My instincts told me something was very wrong with this fact but I ignored it and even convinced myself to welcome it, after all for the foreseeable future I might have to do this every day.
When to got my finger to stop bleeding, I dabbed at it with a spirit-soaked cotton ball and then prepared our meal. In about 15-25 minutes, I was done and after I cleaned up and made sure I left no trace of my 'special' ingredient, I called down Leah.
I dished our pancakes and we sat together on the couch as we ate. When she took in her first bite, her eyes widened slightly and she exclaimed.
"This is so good! When did you become such a great cook?"
I smiled and shrugged.
"Chef's secret."
After we ate for a bit in silence with Leah stuffing her face, my tone became subconsciously more serious as I asked.
"So, is it filling?"
She thought for a few moments and then smiled brightly and said.
"Yeah, Darell, whatever special ingredient you put in it seemed to have done the trick."
I sighed in relief and continued eating, we made some small talk about random subjects, mostly things she was interested in while she was still... you know and after about 5 minutes, I gave her a peck and headed off to work. She followed me to the door and waved me off, filling me with a simple pleasure I had missed dearly.
_____
My weekdays passed similarly, I would wake up and make her breakfast which contained my blood, and in the evenings, I would slip some of my blood into her food in small amounts.
Leah didn't feel her hunger pangs as much as usual but they were still very present even though she hid it well. I pretended to not notice and tried to think of more ways to meet her dietary needs, the solution was quite obvious.
Today was a Saturday, so I stealthily got out of bed as I had been doing for most of the week and headed to our kitchen. I wanted to give her some special treatment by serving her breakfast in bed.
I had the perfect meal in mind, Eggs and bacon with some orange juice to wash it down. Sure it wasn't anything fancy but I was going to quite literally put my blood and sweat into the meal.
The thought strangely put a smile on my face, the thought of sustaining Leah's existence with my blood brought with it a rather strange mix of emotions I didn't want to unravel.
As I prepared the meal, I got to the most significant part, drawing my blood. I pulled back the sleeve of my left hand to reveal my bare arm.
Over the week, I had gotten some syringes to be able to draw more blood and make the process easier. I had noticed something strange with my self-inflicted injuries as well, the pricks I had created, healed abnormally quickly.
My gut told me it had something to do with Leah but I chose not to tell her about it seeing as I was putting human blood in her meals without her consent in the first place. Secondly, these past few years without her were more than enough incentive to suppress whatever fear of the unknown I had.
As I stuck the needle in, I heard a voice call out.
"Darell? What are you doing?"
It was Leah, I froze for a few seconds then sighed and said honestly.
"Getting the secret ingredient for your meal."
Her expression immediately became horrified and she looked slightly paler. She then spoke
"Why would you do this Darell? That isn't right!"
"Of course it isn't but what other choice do I have? Watching you slowly wither away in agonizing pain while I sit on the sidelines unable to help? No, thank you. You said it yourself Leah, it soothes your hunger. Spilling a little blood can't compare to a single second of living without you."
"But what about you Darell? How long can you do this without falling ill as well? Or worse?"
"As long as it takes."
She fell silent at that response, she knew she couldn't budge me on this issue. After a few minutes, she quietly said.
"Can I at least help you?"
"Yeah, I would be glad to have your company while I cook."
She then stepped in and helped out, she watched me draw out the blood somewhat anxiously but there was something else behind her gaze I'm sure she didn't notice, blatant hunger.