CHAPTER 12
His eyes opened to reveal that he was lying on the floor. Nate thought he was transported to another dimension that, to his surprise, resembled his hospital room. Confusion gripped Nate as he grappled with the reality of being back in the hospital. Questions raced through his mind, intertwining with a jumble of uncertainty.
"Is this still part of my near-death experience? Or have I somehow returned to my world? But just moments ago, I was…" Nate paused, pondering, "I don't know where I was."
He thought of the seemingly interactive physical memory swirling like the smoke en-shrouded his mind. Then he concluded that he must have fallen while trying to get out of bed after remembering he forgot how to walk.
I got knocked out. It was all just a dream.
As he surveyed his surroundings, he noticed the familiar sights of his hospital room: the desk with a tray of leftover food, the equipment looking stained and filthy, and the flickering glow of his bedside lamp. It was undeniably—the dirtiest hospital room he had ever been in. Yet, there was an intangible feeling, a lingering sense that could only be compared to a compass spinning out of control due to magnetic interference, unable to settle on its bearings.
He needed to re-calibrate to this new reality.
The boundaries between his past experiences and his current existence were obscured, leaving Nate disoriented and desperately seeking clarity.
Doubt began to tug at his mind that he would be stuck in this purgatory forever. Still, a flicker of hope emerged within Nate when a nurse came in and asked if he had anyone to pick him up. He took that to be a sign that he had indeed returned to the realm of the living, and he had been granted another chance to reconcile with the reality he thought was left behind.
"I don't know anyone around here, miss," he said with a raspy choke, the after-effect of having a breathing tube in his throat.
"Then we'll just have to keep you here until we can find a safe place for you to go." The nurse said in a tone that gave Nate little expectation of leaving this place.
With each passing moment, the weight of uncertainty mingled with a sense of despair, turning into bricks of pessimism in the room's walls that enveloped Nate.
I never expected the afterlife to be a physical reality, he thought.
Once a haven from his overdose, the room now carried a hint of doom. It was a paradoxical space where the familiar coexisted with the unknown, where the answers to his burning questions remained tantalizingly out of reach.
The nurse came in the following day, which seemed like weeks in a time dilation sort of way, "We found a safe place for you to go. It is a sober living home called Life House; you will be released tomorrow."
The smile on Nate's face grew so big that it hurt, but that didn't matter. This was his chance to reward those who put their faith in him.
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After leaving the hospital, Nate found stability and solace in the sober living house. It provided him with a much-needed sanctuary, a place to rebuild his life after the turmoil that had consumed him.
He started to see a therapist because he didn't have anyone familiar to talk to and the people he knew certainly wouldn't have been of any help with the unbelievable amount of insane B-movie horror film events he had endured.
Spring turned to summer, while fall came early, making it a long Colorado winter; even though the cold days made him want to stay in his bed at Life House, he still made it a point to go and see his therapist, who recommended he see a psychologist colleague of his, who then diagnosed Nate with pareidolia, which is a psychological phenomenon that causes people to see patterns in a random stimulus.
After the diagnosis, he started researching and found it fascinating that he shared a condition with Leonardo da Vinci.
Feeling like his world had become somewhat normal again and he had control over his mental health, finding a job became his top priority.
With a newfound sense of purpose, he found employment as a maintenance worker at Keystone Independent Luxury Living, a nursing home in town.
One day, while tending to his duties, Nate received a request from Ruth, one of the residents at Keystone, to fix the flickering lights in her apartment. Eager for the opportunity to help, Nate went to Ruth's room.
As he entered her apartment, Nate couldn't help but notice the unusual blinking pattern of the lights. It reminded him of Morse code, a method of communication using dots and dashes. Curiosity sparked within him as he approached Ruth, saying,
"You know, Ruth, this blinking pattern almost looks like Morse code. It's like someone's trying to send you a message."
Ruth's eyes widened with a mix of surprise and amusement. She replied, "You catch on quickly, young man. I've always believed these lights hold secrets. Perhaps someone or something is indeed trying to communicate with me. Listen closely to the light, Nate. Perhaps it has more to say than meets the eye."
Intrigued by Ruth's words, Nate leaned closer to the flickering light, his ear tuned to any discernible sound. And there it was—the light emitted a peculiar noise, unlike anything he had heard. It was an assortment of beastly roars and agonizing screams, a symphony of unearthly tones.
"You hear it, don't you? This place is run by demons that want to feed on your light. You're a lightworker; I can see it in you." Ruth said with a warm smile.
The hair on Nate's arms stood on end, and a shiver ran down his spine. This wasn't a mere electrical malfunction; there was something inexplicably otherworldly about the sounds emanating from the flickering light. A sense of awe and unease washed over him, challenging his previously dismissed assumptions about the ordinary and the extraordinary.
Nonetheless, Nate brushed off the chilling sensation, reminding himself of the incredible experiences he had already encountered.
"That's a kind thing for you to say about me, Ruth. But sometimes when there is an electrical malfunction, lights, outlets, and even exposed wiring can be known to make sounds," Nate responded with a rational explanation of the chaos of his existence.
With a determined smile, Nate focused on his task, replacing the flickering light bulb with a fresh one. As the new light illuminated the room, the strange noises ceased, returning the apartment to its usual tranquility.
"Oh, thank you, my beloved. I have a gift for you." Ruth said joyfully as she handed Nate a small blue and yellow box.
"Ma'am, you know I can't accept gifts. I appreciate your gesture, but I would lose my job if I accepted that." Nate said politely.
"I won't tell anyone, and we both know that you're not going to be working here for much longer. Please accept it and trust me when I tell you it will help you on your journey." The level of concern in Ruth's voice made it difficult for Nate to say no. He really believed that she thought she was helping him.
As she handed him the box, she grabbed his hand and whispered, "This place is nicknamed The KILL for a reason." Bringing the odd acronym to his attention for the first time.
During his time working with the senior citizens, he came to have a level of respect and compassion for those in the facility because this was a place where their families would dump them when they became too much of A burden. So, he wasn't surprised by her morbid choice of parting words.
Before bidding Ruth farewell, Nate couldn't help but feel a lingering sense of curiosity. Ruth's words echoed in his mind, and he wondered if there was more to be uncovered within the walls of Keystone, hidden messages waiting to be deciphered. He opened the box to reveal its mysterious contents, full of sewing needles, safety pins, and razor blades. He was oddly enough amused by the box he was gifted and decided not to throw it away.
Little did Nate know that his encounter with Ruth and the strange Morse code-like lights was merely a sample of things to come.
In the days that followed, he would find himself paying more attention to his surroundings and looking at things with different eyes.
While removing art from the hallway corridors to repaint, he took notice of a particular picture of a fruit basket; in the brush strokes, he saw faces, ghastly twisted faces that he once again attributed to pareidolia in an effort to keep his sanity at a manageable level.
He was done unraveling the tapestry of mysteries and being bothered with thoughts of uncovering the secrets of the dark forces that lurked with- in the shadows. He was putting an end to the journey that led him close to the brink of madness and through questioning the boundaries of reality.
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One day, Nate received news that his favorite uncle Bart, his father figure, had passed away.
For the first time in almost ten years, Nate allowed himself to release everything he was going through and everything he would ever go through in a moment that he set aside to feel the loss, honor this moment, and cry.
Nate felt that now was the right time to do what Michael had pled for him to do, what Rod told him he needed to do, and what he finally felt was time to do: Go home and make peace with the past.
He called his boss to tell him he needed time away from work for one of the only two funerals he had ever dreaded having to attend, the second being his mother. While the phone was ringing, he heard a faint song playing in the background. He could barely make out the words, but he did hear enough to know that it was a rock song with the lyrics 'Never got to say goodbye.'
He knew that just a few people in the world knew they could communicate with him through music, and Bart was one of them.
After getting permission to leave work early and take time off, he went back to his room at the Life House and immersed himself in the vibes of his music library; a familiar song by the Red-Hot Chili Peppers called "Can't Stop" began to play. He had heard it countless times before, but this time, something caught his attention—the lyrics. They seemed to resonate with him in a way he had never noticed.
Intrigued, Nate took a closer look at the random playlist on his phone, shuffling through the songs. To his surprise, he found two tracks that he had not listened to in years both by the band 'The Used'; the first track was titled 'Blue and Yellow' with the following track titled 'A Box Full of Sharp Objects.'
He was instantly reminded of the blue and yellow colored box full of sharp objects that Ruth from Keystone gifted him, telling him that he would need it on his journey; this surprise made him believe that she knew what she was talking about.
He continued down the list, and what he found solidified something, or someone was trying to communicate with him because the following tracks were from the group '3 Doors Down' from their album '17 Days,' and then three spots down from that track was a song by the band 'Taproot' titled 'April Suits'.
It was as if the sequence of songs held a hidden message, a puzzle waiting to be deciphered.
A rush of curiosity flooded Nate's mind as he contemplated the date's significance—March 15th; it was Bart's birthday, and his funeral was seventeen days away from April 1st.
The synchronicity was undeniable.
Nate's heart raced with excitement and trepidation, realizing that this extraordinary journey was far from over.
"I can't believe it," Nate whispered to himself. "Just when I thought my life was settling into normalcy, the universe throws me back into this web of mystical, interdimensional insanity."
CHAPTER 13
Deciding to leave the place he described as 'Colorad-Hell' behind and with a renewed sense of purpose, Nate embraced this new chapter of his life with open arms.
He knew that the road ahead would be filled with challenges. Still, he was determined to use his experiences and journey to make a difference—to shine a light on the extraordinary hidden within the ordinary, just like the mythical beings that had crossed his path. He embarked on a quest to create art that would inspire, uplift, and transform the lives of those who encountered it.
Determined to uncover what made him so unique in the grand scheme of the gods, Nate embarked on a journey back to his hometown—where his extraordinary tale had initially unfolded. Each mile brought a flood of memories, a montage of encounters, revelations, and the eccentric individuals who had crossed his path.
The further he got away from Colorado, the more Nate's resolve grew stronger. No longer a mere pawn, he embraced the role of a protagonist in his own story, determined to uncover the truth that lay veiled beneath layers of deceit and illusion.
Nate returned home with newfound clarity and sobriety; he appreciated the beauty of the familiar landmarks, feeling a mixture of nostalgia and anticipation. The air seemed charged with an invisible energy as if the essence of his past experiences lingered in the atmosphere. Once again acclimated to the streets of his hometown, now accompanied by a symphony of emotions that surged within him. He reminded himself of the reason for coming back, his agenda to make peace with his mother, and he knew he would have his opportunity at his uncle's funeral.
The day of the memorial filled Nate's heart with a sadness he had not felt in a very long time; however, when he watched the urn with his beloved uncle's ashes being lowered into the burial vault, he was overcome with a sense of release, as if his uncle was telling him that he was in a better place.
After the service, he noticed his mother, Colleen, heading for her car and stopped her to ask if they could talk.
"Brian is working, and I have to get back home to feed the horses." She replied in the dismissive tone he remembered from his youth.
"Fine, I will meet you there," Nate replied.
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The long gravel road led to a quiet valley in the middle of the woods where Colleen shared a modest two-story log cabin with Nate's stepfather. He knew this would be an excellent time to have a private discussion because his mother would be alone due to her husband traversing the world working as an airline pilot and finally resolving any remaining angst that had been weighing him down for so long.
He surprised his mother by arriving with a bouquet.
"These are beautiful." She said with a beaming smile as he handed them to her.
"I have the perfect vase for them. Do you remember the one you made in your freshman year of high school and gave me for Mother's Day?" She asked.
"Don't tell me you still have that." He replied, sounding embarrassed at the memory of the dented glazed pot he presented her so long ago.
"I've saved everything you've given me." His mother said proudly.
"Alright, quit embarrassing me, and let's go feed your horses." Nate deflected with a smile.
Surrounded by the massive forest, they walked along the gravel path that led to the blue and white barn his stepfather built to look like an airplane hangar a quarter mile behind the cabin.
"I love this place. It's like God placed his finger in the middle of this forest and said, 'This will be a good place to build a home.'" His mother said with a warm smile.
"Mom, I came back here to apologize…for all of it. I don't understand why I did everything I did. It feels like I never had control of my own actions. But I won't believe that anything I did was anyone's fault but my own. During my travels, I also realized that I wouldn't change anything because it showed me who I don't want to be and how not to treat people. I'm done believing something other than me is controlling me. I want you to know that I love you, and I will no longer allow my demons to attack our relationship." Nate said with sincerity in his voice his mother had never heard before.
"Thank you for releasing me from that, and I love you too, Nathan." His mother replied before asking, "Are you back for good?" With a hint of hope in her voice.
"I saw an opportunity in Bart's passing not only to come and pay my respects but also to stay long enough to make peace with my past and finally mend some bridges. When I left before, it wasn't on the best terms. I came back to leave on my terms, on good terms." Nate replied.
They continued to catch up on life, with Nate detailing how everything he encountered held an introspective message, and he felt his travels were far from over because there were still many lessons waiting to be learned. He described what he felt to be the significance of his journey, the destruction of his past life and ego, and the birth of a fresh start. His mother told him that he seemed more vibrant, and she was happy to see him finally attain his new profound sense of awareness.
"You always had a way of turning a negative into a positive. I'm proud and glad that you are finally finding your peace. And I'm sure Bart is proud of you as well." His mother said.
"It was like he was giving me one last bit of advice and help to guide my heart in the right direction," Nate said as he looked up to the sky.
"You know, ever since you were a boy, I can always remember how you would just stare at the clouds, and I always wondered what you were thinking." His mother inquired.
"I'll let you in on a little secret, Mom. I never stared at the clouds. I was always looking past them because I knew there was something greater out there that I wanted to find." He said with a wink.
As they said their goodbyes, they shared a warm hug that radiated with peace and love, solidifying that any problems from the past were finally laid to rest.
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With an overwhelming desire to make peace with this place and leave on better terms than before, Nate set out to do what he said he would do: finish his mission to mend the burnt bridges of his past. He reached out to those he had distanced himself from one by one, seeking reconciliation and forgiveness.
He wasn't doing it for himself because he knew some bridges were better left burned. There would be people who wouldn't even give him a chance to speak; he knew who those people were, and he decided that trying to make peace with people who were jaded and filled with hate or resentment for him was a waste of energy.
He let go of the negativity and released the toxic influences that no longer held any power over him.
This wasn't for them.
This was his redemption.
While out having lunch with his brother Tony, who was catching him up on the events of the last seven years of his life, he was presented with a question from his estranged sibling,
"Why did you choose to come back here? You don't owe these people anything, and you don't need to make peace with anyone. If someone is holding on to any angst for you, they are only hurting themselves by keeping negativity in their lives instead of moving on and letting it go. It's not your problem to make those people happy."
Tony's words made sense to Nate. In that moment, those people who once seemed significant now faded into irrelevance.
"You're right, and thanks for the advice, bro. I will always appreciate your wisdom. Thanks for lunch, by the way."
However, Nate's gratitude was premature.
"Anytime, and I am glad you are finally in a good head space. Oh, and as for the lunch, I told the waiter the tab was yours, so thank you for lunch."
His brother replied as he left the sports bar in what Nate knew wouldn't be the last act of their rival brotherly hijinks.
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His next stop was to visit his friend Aubert, who was now married to Alana. Aubert probed Nate for stories from his time away.
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you while I was high, so how do you expect me to explain all of what happened while I'm sober, Aubert," Nate said.
"If there was anything positive that I can take from when you used drugs, it's that nothing you say could shock me anymore," Aubert sai