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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

Hooin_Kyoma
21
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 21 chs / week.
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1.4m
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Synopsis
"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.
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Chapter 1 - The Ritual. (1)

Under the fiery crimson light of the blood moon, a teenager was scurrying around his room holding a bag of food delight.

The room was nothing special.

It had four white walls, a dresser, a rug, a bed, a bedside lamp, a curtained window, a table with a potted plant and a simple door that was currently closed with a poster stuck to the back of it.

The poster was of a man with a golden crystal monocle over his right eye.

"This is it!" The young boy shouted in absolute joy as he looked outside the window at the fiery crimson moon.

"The ritual should have the best effects when the moon is eclipsing."

Not one to waste any more time at this auspicious moment in history, the boy began to run.

Running to the first corner of the room the boy stopped near the dresser and pulled out a stack of rotis, a staple food where he lived, and placed it onto the shelf built into the dresser.

Running around again, the boy came to the next corner of the room that was covered by the bed and placed a small bowl of rice on the corner of the bed surrounded by the walls.

Sliding down the bed towards the next corner, he placed down a glass of buttermilk on the curtained window.

And turning to the last corner he carefully placed a box of sweets on the same table as the potted plant.

A little drool leaked out of his lips as he admired the tasty sweets but he quickly shook his head and rid it of thoughts that were not useful to him.

Running back to the centre of the room the boy tried to relax and control his breathing. But the excitement in his eyes grew as he looked at the clock that was about to strike three 'o'clock in the morning.

"Alright. Now that this is done, I just need to chant the ritual incantations and connect with the deity to ask for what I want."

Taking the first step in a counterclockwise direction to make the side of a square, the young boy prepared to chant. 

Accompanying the tension created by the young boy, crimson moonlight danced on the pale leafless willow tree that shadowed his window, eagerly looking at the scene.

"The Immortal Lord of Heaven and Earth for Blessings."

Taking the next step counterclockwise to complete the square he chanted, "The Sky Lord Of Heaven And Earth For Blessings."

Taking the third step he chanted with increased reverence, "The Exalted Thearch of Heaven and Earth For Blessings."

Taking the final step he chanted in a slightly higher pitch, barely hiding the excitement as he etched closer to the ritual's completion, "The Celestial Worthy Of Heaven and Earth for Blessings."

"I Pray for a miracle."

"I Pray For A Way To Become the Lord Of The Mysteries."

"I Pray for you to use your Mighty Powers to Grant Me the Tag Of The Protagonist."

"I Pray for You to Grant your Follower this Simple Wish."

The boy standing on the original spot from where he had started the ritual closed his eyes and waited about five minutes for the ritual to end.

Throughout the time he remained silent, the boy's brows furrowed as if he was concentrating hard on something.

"No murmurings?"

"No ravings?"

"Did the ritual fail?" The boy mumbled as he squinted his eyes open in the dead of the night trying to spot something different about his surroundings.

*sigh*

"Do I need to light candles, set up a wall of spirituality and sanctify this place after all?" The boy wondered out loud with disappointment.

"But I don't know how to set up a wall of spirituality and sanctify this place."

"And which essential oils do I even burn to please the Celestial Worthy Of Heaven and Earth?"

"But didn't Zhou Mingrui do it without any of these?"

The boy soon finished his musings and walked towards all the corners with his shoulders slumped to recoup all the offerings. He wanted to begin feasting on the food that so eagerly wished to be tasted and was tempting him.

"Hmm…is it just me or did the food grow tastier?"

"Hmm…maybe this is a sign for me to redo the ritual with tastier foods."

"Well, I can always try during the next eclipse."

*SLAM*

*THUD*

"Huh? What was that?"

The boy was startled, and spilled a bit of buttermilk, as he watched the windows that had shut close with force enough to create resonating tremors through the room.

"Oh, must've been the wind."

The young boy opened the window and placed its latch onto the hook so that it wouldn't slam shut so suddenly once again.

"Why did it get so stormy all of a sudden?"

"Hmm…I'm sure the meteorological department will have some answers tomorrow."

"Or perhaps another cyclone is passing by and I missed the warning?"

*SSSSCCCCCCRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCHHHHHH*

A loud unfiltered noise that resembled the screeching of tyres poured in through the open window irritating the boy, causing him to take a few steps backwards while closing his ears.

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM*

The loud explosion took centre stage and for a few seconds overpowered the breathtaking crimson light that had painted the view of the city from outside his window.

"....beautiful."

The boy whispered into the cracks of the silent night that remained occupied mostly by the sounds of the explosion reaching high in the sky.

Several avian creatures screeched and tweeted with each other, painting the sightless picture of horror and disturbance. 

The birds near the explosion dove away or sheltered under ledges to avoid the brightly burning fiery embers raining down on the surroundings.

"When did so many crows start living here?"

The young boy looked at the fiery remains of what appeared to be a collision between multiple vehicles on the road. The largest he could recognise was an oil tanker that had exploded after a truck had buried into it.

"Scary…"

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM*

The young boy looked at the sight with an awestruck expression as the explosion had sent a cloud of smoke and fire high into the sky.

But that wasn't the only thing that the boy saw being sent flying into the sky.

"What the heck…."

The boy's head tilted to follow the head of the truck high into the sky until he found his face pressed onto the window grill, trying to peer beyond its bounds.

"Where did it go?" The boy wondered as the head of the truck left his vision. 

He stepped back to admire the explosion site once again.

The burning remains of the accident reflected off in the young man's enchanted eyes but before he could even react or understand what happened-

*BOOOOOOMMMMM*

-the head of the truck crashed into his room right through the roof and killed him by squishing him underneath itself like a bug under a leg.