The curtains in the bedroom were drawn tightly, making the whole room look dark and gloomy.
Compared to the sunny weather outside the window, it felt like a completely different world inside.
Iroha hadn't eaten for almost a day, so she lay on the bedside, her cell phone connected to the charger, playing a funny program.
However, she was just listening to the sound while her eyes wandered to an irrelevant place.
She had been in this state since she woke up on Wednesday.
She felt unable to talk to others about what had happened to her, and even if she did, they wouldn't understand. So, she bore the burden alone.
In front of the doctor, she had a glimmer of hope and vaguely explained her situation, but it turned out to be exactly what she had feared: the doctor could not help her.
The medication had no effect at all. She was still dragged into that dream and forced to watch those movies...
No, were they really just videos?
As the novelty wore off, whether it was the second night or the third, Iroha was already feeling a bit confused.
She watched her actions on the TV screen from a third-party perspective and couldn't help but reflect on why this was happening.
It could be said that the character on the screen was not just similar to her; it was exactly the same, in body shape, appearance, personality, and daily habits.
The more she thought about it, the more she fell into a state of existential doubt.
Then Iroha didn't even realize that she had substituted herself into the film and television on the screen.
She recalled the drama from Tuesday night.
Her unrelated brother, over time, had almost made his feelings for her explicit.
Everything seemed fine up to this point. Iroha guessed that the next plot might depict the sweet and warm daily life between her and Chisato.
From her third-party perspective, she could see that Chisato had been deeply in love with her since they were very young.
She even thought it would be nice if she could control the plot and accept him directly.
After all, this unrelated brother was good-looking and had a great personality—exactly what her ideal lover should be.
However, the plot on the screen did not unfold the way she wanted.
In the drama, she could not regard the person she spent day and night with as a love interest and chose to escape instead, signaling her unwillingness to face the situation.
Chisato understood her and respected her feelings, deciding not to bother her any further. He found other girlfriends, got married, and started a family after graduation.
The plot quickly took a turn for the worse, which is why Iroha had been so out of sorts these days.
Because of her own mistake in the drama, she caused her pregnant sister-in-law to fall down the stairs.
The sister-in-law's face contorted in pain, and a bright dark red appeared under her skirt.
Although her sister-in-law was rushed to the hospital in time, the baby in her belly was lost and could not be saved.
Her sister-in-law's body was severely traumatized; she lost her happiness as a woman and could no longer give birth.
The heavy slap from her father on the screen made Iroha, who was watching from a third-person perspective, feel equally shaken.
The immersive experience did not allow her to feel like an outsider; after all, the person on the screen was undeniably herself.
But this was just the beginning.
She stayed up all night on Wednesday, finding the escape shameful yet useful.
She no longer had to confront the painful plots in her dreams that she didn't want to see.
But escaping was only temporary; what she owed would eventually have to be repaid.
On Thursday, she could no longer hold on and fell asleep.
She was forced to pay double for the scenes she had not finished watching on Wednesday night, and on Thursday night, she watched four episodes in a row.
She appeared like a lost star on the screen. Because of her, unfortunate events unfolded one after another.
Her sister-in-law suffered from depression, and her brother's adoptive mother also passed away due to the loss of her baby.
Realizing she was infertile, her sister-in-law committed suicide by drowning...
Each of these incidents was a tragedy caused by her.
Iroha seemed to be dumbfounded, staring blankly at the unfolding scenes on the screen and the sorrowful reactions of her parents.
But the one she felt most guilty about was Chisato.
This brother, who had always treated her like a little princess and loved her since childhood, had his family ruined because of her.
He became addicted to alcohol and cigarettes, nearly turning into a disabled person.
Many scenes of him crying like a helpless child in the middle of the night kept appearing on the screen.
Seeing this, Iroha felt extremely distressed and guilty at first, but soon she became numb.
So when the door opened, she didn't even look over.
When the visitor slowly sat down by the bed and called her name, she realized it wasn't her mother, but Mr. Hiratsuka.
"The teacher is here to see you."
Hiratsuka Shizuka smiled gently and spoke softly in a tone that wouldn't irritate Iroha.
"What's going on? I heard your mother say that you don't even eat properly. This isn't okay."
Iroha's nose tinged with sourness.
What Hiratsuka didn't know was that Iroha now felt immense guilt toward her parents and had no way to face them, let alone communicate with them.
She had watched helplessly on the screen as her actions led to the rapid aging and decline of her parents, who were still quarreling privately about her and her brother's affairs.
Therefore, when an outsider appeared—someone who had almost no place in her dream— the emotions Iroha had been trying to suppress could finally be released.
Seeing her tear-streaked face, Hiratsuka didn't say anything. Instead, she reached out and pulled Iroha into her arms, gently patting her back to comfort her.
"...People like me really don't deserve to live in this world. It would be better to die," Iroha said through her sobs.
"What a stupid thing to say!"
Hiratsuka's tone became serious in an instant. She held the haggard Iroha's shoulders and made her face her directly.
"I don't know what you've been through, Isshiki, but never doubt your existence or the meaning of your life."
"Many people care about you. Don't say such self-destructive things, and never entertain such dangerous thoughts again."
"Teacher..."
"Cry if you want to. When you finish crying, I'll listen to what you have to say."
Hiratsuka held Iroha in her arms once more.
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