Lizzie's POV
I spent the next few months trying not to think about Daniel, trying to not look him up to see if there was news. Going to appointments were bittersweet, I got to watch as every visit showed my baby growing inside of me and I loved it but it always brought me back to Daniel and how he would never get to see his child. The day I found out I was having a boy I went home and cried all evening in bed, I think I would have done the same if it was a girl too but still. When you find out what you're having your mind instantly goes to the memories you would create with your child. With a boy I could picture Daniel teaching him how to shave or work on cars not that Daniel knew how but still that where my mind went, with a girl it would have been daddy daughter dates or giving her away at her wedding which he probably would have done with Olie if he had had the chance.
The pain I felt was insurmountable and I needed way to move past it. There was no way to heal when the people responsible were still out there. There was no closure when I couldn't bury Daniels body. I was angry and the only way I would be able to cope was to find a way to make it right or at the very least never let it happen to someone else.
I had some credits from college and was able to put some of them towards an associate's degree in Criminal Justice and took the accelerated program, it was extremely hard work to have a baby right in the middle of it all but most of that was online so after having Daniel Jr It was only about a year later when I finally received it. This gave me time to work on my physical strength and take courses in just about anything I could that resembled street fighting as well as the more formal martial arts and defense classes. I had to train my instinct's to always fight dirty because although I had gotten away, there was no guarantee that they wouldn't come for me again, especially if they found out about DJ.
No matter how much I learned there was no way to determine what stuck without being in a situation to use it, which is why I took gun safety training and learned to shoot as well. Towards the end of college, I applied to the police department and started in the police academy about a month after graduating, I worked my ass off and the goal was to beat the department record by making detective a year earlier than anyone else had, I didn't think I had a chance, but I was going to try anyways.
I finally had stability for the first time since my parents died and for the first time since Daniel died, I finally started to feel safe. I knew how to fight and if it was a man I wouldn't stand a chance with well then, I knew how to shoot. I finally had friends and the best of all was Olie was now in remission and I knew it wouldn't have happened had I not married Daniel, so I never once regretted it.
"Lizzie, where is your head at girl?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my late husband, I was just thinking that if he hadn't had the good sense to leave me that life insurance policy then Olie might not be alive right now. I just miss him ya know?"
Gina flashed an apologetic smile and touched my hand: Sweety I am so sorry, to be a widow and so young too is just awful. I know you've said no but sweety I think you should start dating again. I didn't know Daniel but from everything you've told me, I think he would want you to be happy hun. I mean how long has it been?"
"It's been almost 2 years, it doesn't feel long enough but then again, I don't know if it ever will. Ugh… Maybe your right Gina… okay… work your magic and set me up"
"Yes!!! Okay you will not regret this girl, I promise."
I was getting ready for my date with James, it had been such a long time since I even had a date that I wasn't even sure how to do it anymore. I put a cute red blouse on and some high-rise jeans with some slip-on shoes that were cute but comfortable. I curled my hair but pulled it all to one side showing my exposed collar bone and shoulder. I left to meet him and felt extremely nervous for the first time in a long time. Gina gave me a description of what he looked like, but I wasn't prepared for how hot he was. He was a bit older, but he was polite and sweet and handsome and pretty much the whole package, there was only one glaring problem… He wasn't Daniel.
I spent the next few weeks getting to know James, he wasn't Daniel, but he did quash my desire for companionship. I felt bad going on more dates knowing how I felt but I found out why Gina picked him for me when he put me at ease by explaining that he had lost his wife and felt quite similar. He took me places which was a nice change of pace seeing as how I was used to staying home every night with two kids. It felt good to not be alone, we also had our sexual urges and although we were taking it slow, it was nice to be looked at with desire again.
I was putting the kids to bed and saying my good nights then to Linda the babysitter to let her know the details of the evening when there was a knock at the door. Linda looked at me questioningly and I shrugged my shoulders as I had no idea who it could possibly be. I walked to the door and opened it and saw a man. He was tall and had broad shoulders, and he looked exactly like Daniel so much so that I felt myself gasp and take a step back.