Valerie's POV
Adrian stared at me for a while after my statement and looked away as if he was trying to get something straight. "Are you okay?" I asked him, placing my hand on his shoulder.
Looking at the floor, he smiled as though he saw something beautiful, while I waited for his answer. Adrian raised his gaze and looked at me. "If I die after the surgery, it means that there's more but not just in this life…" he repeated what I said.
"What we don't see or expect sometimes is more beautiful and better than what we see," I added.
"If I don't die, there's more in this life for me. I don't know if I want death or life but as you said, I should embrace it."
"Don't be scared," I mentioned. "Fear…fear is always human's downfall and it can also be our power but it always drives us crazy; the fear of what would happen. Live the moment and make it count," I cocked my head to one side and smiled at him.
"Cheer up," I hit him on his shoulder.
"How come you are still motivated?" It was a good question.
"I just…believe," I shrugged. "I believe in life and death. I believe in good and bad things. I believe in the dark and light. I believe that without the opposite, the word itself cannot exist. We exist because there's life and death and when it seems like I'm going to die, I prepare to embrace it. When things are hard, very hard…it's awful but I embrace it. Not embracing it is harder so I accept and work it out. Fighting it is pointless because it's time. Good times come and bad times come…I just need to accept it and keep moving.
My life is hard, I desire some things but Adrian, I've accepted my fate," I sighed and looked up at the television.
After my statement, silence reigned between us for some minutes. I guess we were both thinking about everything we had just discussed.
"You know, through my window, I witness how beautiful the sky is. I want to get a better view and I know going to the rooftop is the best place to enjoy the view, especially when it's late like now but I kept asking myself 'what's the point?' I don't care anymore, I want to view the sky and enjoy the nature surrounding the moment if it ever happens. Wanna come along?" He hopefully looked at me, holding my hand.
"Yes," I nodded with a genuine smile. I know, I know, little things make me happy.
We stood up and located the elevator. It felt like we were both going to heaven to find the place of rest and peace we've always wished for.
"How old are you, Adrian?" I asked him as the elevator took its time.
"I'm seventeen," he replied.
"I'm nineteen."
"You are my older sister then," he tilted his head and smiled at me just as I did to him earlier.
"Siblings?"
"I'm an only child," he replied.
"How does it feel?"
"No, my parents aren't together. I stayed with my Mom after my father chased the family he loved the most. He has never come to visit me ever since I've been in the hospital…"
"How long?"
"Three months. It has been boring but I was able to communicate with other patients like I did with you," he paused. "My Mom has lost hope in me and is seeing another man. He visited me once and my Mom comes twice a week to see me. I feel so lonely here," he was looking very sad.
I knew how it felt to be alone. If I were in his shoes, I'd wish to die and stop experiencing the kind of life that I might face if I eventually live after the surgery.
"What about you?" He asked because I didn't say anything.
"I'm pregnant," I laughed because he wouldn't expect that. "I lived with my toxic aunt's family and fell in love with a guy in the street. Turns out he was my aunt's ally. They wanted to make my life miserable. He's the father of the baby inside me and I was abandoned and betrayed…" I said it as if I wasn't really affected by what they did to me.
Adrian didn't allow me to finish my statement, he came close to me and wrapped his hands around me.
"That's too much to handle," he uttered.
I was surprised. No one has ever understood how painful it was for me but because I chose to let it go and skip the weeping part, they only patted me and told me everything would be okay.
Adrian was the first person who heard my story but listened to the pain behind my voice. He gave me a hug, knowing how hurt I was.
I never knew that I needed such a warm hug until I received one. I didn't care if he was a patient, I hugged him back and rested my head on his shoulder. We were the same height.
"It was…I…I…I," I couldn't express myself through words. I just hugged him with tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Don't say anything. I know, I know you are in so much pain," he caressed my back. The moment felt as though I was breathing my last breath because it was too perfect and warm.
I felt so comfortable and at rest. My heavy heart that was weighing in me and causing me to overthink every point of my life began to lessen the more he hugged me.
"Thank you, Adrian."
We were already sitting on the rooftop looking at the sky that was full of stars both big and small. He responded with a soft smile. "If I would die after this, I would die happily." He was joking, right?
Well, I laughed with him. "It's so peaceful here," I agreed with him.
"I never knew coming here would be so worth it."
I understood what he meant. The chilling weather brought us to the verge of shivering but the glimmering sky seemed to be keeping us warm from within. It felt like the perfect moment because we were feeling cold and warm at the same time.
I was also feeling excited in my stomach. There was nothing going right in my life. At this point, I was even thinking of getting an abortion but here I was laughing and chatting with Adrian.
It felt like a blessing to have met him. He added some meaning to my life and I wish that he'd also find a reason to live. He looked very sad but I was glad, I was able to make him smile even if it was only for a moment.
We talked about a lot of things that night and eventually went to bed, hoping to see the next day, the day for his surgery.
"You'll see me before the surgery," I promised Adrian as we departed. He had a room but I didn't because my stay in the hospital was short.