King sat on the side of the bed. His posture was slumped as if the world's worries weighed him down. His white dress shirt was unbuttoned to the waist.
He looked up when I entered the room, assessing me with dark eyes.
"You can't speak to my mom and Anya like that, Teela. What's gotten into you?"
That was more words than he'd spoken to me in a month. It enraged me. It excited me. It shamed me that my bad behavior resulted in me getting King's attention when everything I'd done to fit into the family had not.
I shrugged. "Sorry."
King shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. "Just do what you are supposed to do. Don't cause problems. You won't like Mom if you cause problems."
I didn't particularly like her now. I respected her, though. Millions of women did. She was an icon in the business world who symbolized what was possible with a lot of hard work and willpower. It took a lot of strength and determination to raise four boys alone while building a business empire. It was no wonder Lettie controlled her family as tightly as she did. She must have had to survive and raise such strong, successful men.
While King was the CEO of Heavenly Enterprises, Daniel headed the conglomerate's freight and logistics branch. Joshua was a well-respected surgeon. While in graduate school, Ben owned and operated Well Water, a popular college nightclub.
"Yes, King. I know."
King stood and pulled off his shirt. He nodded toward the bed. "Lay down."
Sex with King was as predictable as someone who didn't enjoy cooking preparing a meal from a recipe. Step one, lay down. Step two, King climbed on top of me. Step three, he groped at my left breast as if he was testing a melon for ripeness, and on it went. I knew down to the second how long it would take for him to move from one body part to the next until he would finally complete the deed.
In total, it took longer to bake the ziti than for King to finish, and the ziti was a lot spicier and more interesting than anything King did to my body.
Maybe I should prepare baked ziti every month. I could pop the pan into the oven and do my thing with King while it baked. Anya couldn't complain about my love life, such as it was, upsetting the family's schedule.
Afterward, I was required to lay there for ten minutes before I could clean up. It was ten minutes of pure humiliating torture when all I really wanted to do was scrub myself clean and go to sleep somewhere other than by this man.
If only there was a little bit of affection. Anything. A kiss. A kind word of appreciation. No, I didn't even need that much. If King had met my gaze just once to show me that whether he enjoyed it or not, we were in this together, I would have felt better.
Instead, I felt like just another product being test-driven by the Heavenly family until I proved myself worthy or was dropped as worthless.
King, on the other hand, grunted with completion and rolled over. His obligation was done for another month.
I took my time cleaning up, letting the cool water chill my skin, but more importantly, delaying returning to the bed where I'd have to lay next to King as if what we did was absolutely normal.
I was no fool. I might have been a virgin when I married, but I wasn't raised under a rock. I knew a normal sex life was supposed to be pleasurable. It was supposed to unite people and reenergize a healthy, loving relationship.
And I'd tried, too, in the beginning. I tried to emulate the passionate embraces I'd seen in moves. I tried to kiss King the way we had at the end of a date. I tried to smile and touch him and be a loving wife, but he'd shut me down with an iron mask, pushing my hands away, turning his head from my lips.
I was a quick learner. It didn't take me long to learn what was expected of me.
By the time I returned to bed, King was breathing softly. I laid down, hugging the edge of the bed, my back to King.
I tried to sleep, really, I did, but my mind was racing.
I kept asking myself if this was it? Maybe a baby would make things better. Lettie would get off my case about adding value, and the baby would welcome my affection. A baby needed hugs and kisses to thrived, didn't it? I didn't know a lot about babies, but I remembered wanting my mom's nurturing.
I wouldn't be alone if I had a baby.
But that spearheaded an even bigger concern. Was this the environment I wanted to bring a child into? My own father was a distant memory. He was a military man who had died in battle when I was a toddler, but I had pictures of him smiling with me in his arms. I had a hard time picturing King as an integral part of any child's life.
When King shifted on the bed and sighed, I knew he was still awake too. Before I chickened out. I asked the question I hadn't been able to shake all day.
"Is this it?"
Silence.
More silence.
King's voice filled the dark. "We can go again if you want."
That surprised me. We had never tried twice. Not once in three years. It had never even occurred to me that it was an option.
"No, King, that's not what I mean."
"Oh."
"I mean our marriage. Life here with the family. Is this it?"
"You're not happy?" King asked.
"Are you?"
Silence that stretched out so long I thought King had fallen asleep.
"This is it. It is consistent."
I rolled over to face him. His form was barely discernible in the darkness. "What if I'm not happy? What happens then?"
King raised up on an elbow. "Teela, I don't understand what you are asking."
"What if I'm not happy with taking care of the family and answering to your mother for everything down to when you and I are intimate? What if I don't like Anya's snide comments or not getting to eat until after everyone else has? You've not given me any money since we got married. I've not had a new pair of shoes or a new dress in three years. I can't remember the last time I went to a movie or spent an afternoon just enjoying living.
"What are my options?"
"This about new shoes? You should have funds for shoes. Everyone in the family has a living allowance. It should be enough—"
"It's not about shoes, King."
"You expect to live in Mom's house for free?"
"No, I don't, but I didn't expect it to be like this. I didn't expect us, you and I, to be like this."
"Maybe you should adjust your expectations. This is the real world, Teela, not some fairytale."
King
King rolled over, putting his back to his wife. He was confused as to why his wife was acting out. Teela had always been such a good girl before. Now she was fighting with Anya and asking hypothetical questions that were so irrelevant.
What did happiness have to do with anything? Life was a collaboration, whether it was at work or home. Harmony was key to consistent productivity. Everyone had to pull their own weight.
Harmony was based on strong, consistent leadership and clear expectations. After three years, Teela should be accustomed to living in the Heavenly household.
King never thought much about marriage, so when Teela's mom had suggested it as part of the bargaining process in the land deal, he had considered it an easy way to close the deal. Teela was a good girl who never pressed him for more than he was willing to give. She was quiet, punctual, and clean. The background check on Teela and the family came back clean.
His mother had discouraged him, but he really wanted that piece of land, and it was a good decision. The restaurant and shops were all money makers. Well worth having to share a bed with someone. Besides, Teela had shaped up into a pretty good home cook who didn't cause problems.
Until now.
From behind King, he heard a sound he was unfamiliar with. He rolled over and saw Teela was once again hugging the edge of the bed. Her shoulders shook slightly, and then it occurred to him. Teela was crying.
Life with Lettie had never prepared him for this, and if someone cried at work, his assistant Kai or his personal secretary Nan handled the tears.
He couldn't recall ever seeing Teela cry, not even at her mother's funeral.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yes." Teela's voice was little more than a whisper.
King made a mental note to have Kai buy Teela a new pair of shoes.