I leaned back against the bar, my bandaged hand resting in my lap. The club had started to slow down a bit, and for the first time in a while, I actually felt myself breathe. Amartya sat next to me, looking unusually quiet. After everything that had happened tonight, I was too drained to overthink it, so I just let the silence hang between us for a while.
Finally, Amartya spoke up. "Can I be real for a sec?"
I turned my head towards him, raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you ever need permission to be real?"
He chuckled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "True, but… I dunno. I've just been feeling like I'm... coasting. Like, everyone expects me to take over the family business and be this... perfect dude, you know?"
I shrugged, taking a sip from my drink. "And you don't want that?"
He sighed, and for a second, he actually looked vulnerable—a rare sight. "Not really. I mean, I get it, I've got responsibilities and all, but... why does everything have to be about the future? Can't I just live in the moment for once?"
I smirked. "Oh, so now you want to be one of those 'live for today' types?"
He shot me a look, but there was a smile behind it. "I'm serious. It's just... exhausting being the guy everyone expects me to be. I want to figure out what I actually want, not just what everyone else thinks I should want."
I studied him for a moment. It was rare to see Amartya like this—so honest, so unfiltered. It kind of caught me off guard.
"So, what do you want?" I asked, half-expecting him to brush it off with a joke.
He shrugged. "Honestly? I have no idea. And for once, I think I'm okay with that."
I nodded, feeling that. "You're not alone. Sometimes it feels like we're all just going through the motions, pretending we've got it figured out when, really, none of us do."
"Right?" He looked over at me, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Guess we're both winging it, then."
I couldn't help but laugh a little. "Maybe. But that's okay. Maybe winging it is exactly what we need right now."
Amartya nudged me with his elbow. "So, what's your plan for the rest of the night, oh mighty wing-it queen?"
I rolled my eyes, but smiled anyway. "No plan. I'm too tired for plans. Let's just... see where the night takes us."
He raised his glass toward me, and I clinked mine against his. "To winging it," I said, feeling the weight of the day finally start to lift off my shoulders.
"To winging it," he repeated, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I could stop overthinking everything. At least for tonight.
We both laughed, and for a moment, the rest of the world faded away. It was just us, the sound of our voices bouncing off the walls of the nearly empty club. I felt the weight of everything—work, life, expectations—start to loosen its grip on me. Maybe this was what I needed. A night of just being, without any pressure to perform or succeed.
But, of course, that's when life decided to throw a curveball.
Out of nowhere, Amartya's phone buzzed on the bar. He glanced down at it, and his expression immediately changed—his usual laid-back demeanor replaced by something I couldn't quite read.
"Everything okay?" I asked, trying to keep my voice casual.
He hesitated for a second before shoving the phone back into his pocket. "Yeah, just... something from work. Nothing major."
I wasn't convinced, but I let it slide. "You sure?"
"Yeah, seriously," he said, his smile returning, but it didn't quite reach his eyes this time. "Anyway, where were we?"
I narrowed my eyes at him, but decided to drop it. Whatever it was, he clearly wasn't ready to talk about it. And honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to dig deeper tonight. I just wanted to enjoy this moment, without overcomplicating things.
"So, winging it?" I offered, trying to steer the conversation back to where we'd left off.
"Winging it," he agreed, raising his glass again. But this time, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. I watched him carefully as he took a sip, his eyes darting briefly toward the door. Something was definitely on his mind, something bigger than he was letting on.
But I pushed the thought away. Tonight wasn't the night to get into heavy stuff. Tonight was about letting go.
Still, as we continued to chat and joke around, I couldn't help but wonder what was really going on with him. And whether or not this easygoing, carefree Amartya was starting to crack under the weight of everything he wasn't saying.
Eventually, the club began to wind down, and the bartenders started cleaning up. I realized just how late it had gotten.
"You ready to head out?" I asked, stretching out the stiffness in my legs.
"Yeah," he said, though he seemed distracted. "Let's get out of here."
We paid our tab and stepped out into the cool night air. The streets were quieter now, a stark contrast to the chaotic noise from earlier. Amartya walked beside me, his hands shoved into his pockets, his mind clearly somewhere else.
"Thanks for tonight," I said, glancing over at him. "I really needed this."
He looked over at me and gave a small smile. "Anytime, Maya. Seriously."
There was something in his tone that felt... final. Like he was saying goodbye to more than just the night. But I didn't push it. Not yet, anyway.
We stopped by my car, and I turned to face him. "You sure you're okay?"
He hesitated for just a moment too long. "Yeah. I'm good. I promise."
I nodded, even though I wasn't sure I believed him. "Alright. Well, don't be a stranger, okay?"
He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "You either."
With that, I got into my car and drove away, the night fading into the background. But the feeling that something had shifted between us stayed with me, lingering in the air like a question that hadn't yet been asked.
And as I drove home, I couldn't shake the thought that maybe neither of us was as fine as we pretended to be.
As I drove home, the streets seemed emptier than usual. It was late, sure, but something about the quiet felt different—like everything had paused for a second, giving me time to think. My thoughts drifted back to Amartya. His weird shift in mood was still lingering in my mind, but I tried to push it aside. If he wanted to talk, he would. Eventually.
But then again, who was I kidding? We were both just coasting, weren't we? Putting off the real conversations, the hard decisions, pretending everything was fine until it wasn't. Maybe that's what made tonight feel so heavy. Not just him, but me too.
My phone buzzed on the passenger seat, pulling me out of my thoughts. It was an email—from work, of course. Even at this hour, there was no escaping it.
I sighed, pulling into my parking spot outside my building. For a second, I considered leaving the email unread, just ignoring it for the night. But I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't at least take a look.
The subject line read: *Urgent: Fabric Delay Update.*
I groaned. Of course. The one thing I was hoping wouldn't be an issue—still an issue. And it wasn't like I could just fix it with a snap of my fingers.
As I sat there in my car, the glow of the screen lighting up my tired face, I felt the weight of everything start to press down on me again. The brief reprieve I'd had with Amartya—gone. Now it was back to reality. Back to the constant grind of trying to keep my head above water while everything around me threatened to fall apart.
I locked my phone and leaned back in my seat, staring up at the night sky. How had it all gotten so complicated? When did life become this relentless cycle of stress and deadlines, with barely a moment to catch my breath?
I used to love what I did. Or at least, I thought I did. But lately, it all felt like one big blur—a never-ending chase for something I wasn't even sure I wanted anymore.
Maybe Amartya had a point. Maybe it wasn't about the future or the expectations. Maybe it was about just... letting go for a second. Living in the moment, like he said.
But how the hell do you do that when everything is falling apart?
I sighed again, forcing myself out of the car and into my apartment. The quietness of the place greeted me like an old friend, but instead of comfort, it just reminded me how alone I was in this mess.
As I threw my bag onto the couch, I couldn't help but wonder... was this it? Was this what my life was going to be from now on? Just surviving one day at a time, pretending like I had everything under control when I clearly didn't?
I shook my head, pushing the thoughts away. I couldn't afford to fall into that hole tonight. Not with everything I had on my plate tomorrow. There would be time to figure all of this out later. Right now, I just needed to get some sleep and hope tomorrow would be a little better.