Raylen is drunk again—he really does love his wines. He genuinely cannot recall when he stopped being a social drinker and turned into a functional alcoholic, but that happened more than a decade ago and is, at this point in time, ultimately unimportant.
With Livia and the children around, this bad habit was better curbed. But now Livia and Cornelia are in Labar, and Cornelius is with Gertrude, and he has the time to indulge. And indulge he will.
As he raises the glass to his lips once more, the door to his bedroom slams open and who does he see but his estranged partner, clad in a white off-the-shoulder evening gown of intricately-pleated silk and holding a roll of newspaper? He blinks. Once. Twice. She is still there, looking like a beautiful dream. "Livia, what are you doing here?"
"Why can't I be here? Do you not want to see me?"
"Of course not. I am always happy to see you. You could have just given me a heads-up, that is all."
She sneers. "A heads-up so you have time to come up with better excuses?"
"I truly have no idea what you are talking about."
Livia stomps towards him—he briefly wonders how she is doing that so elegantly in high-heeled shoes—before shoving the newspaper to his face and unfurling it.
He is immediately confronted with photographic proof of his wrongdoing. "Ah. This is what you mean." He begins to feel a headache mounting. At the same time, he catches a whiff of alcohol from Livia. She must have been drinking too, perhaps to have the bravery to come at him.
"What else can I possibly mean?"
"I… I do not know." In hindsight, it should have been obvious that she was going to confront him about his infidelity—technically, he did cheat on her. Alas, he is drunk and prone to underestimating the intensity of women's emotions. "What do you want me to say?"
"Explain yourself," Livia huffs, "if you even can."
"There is nothing I can say that you do not already know. I met her at Kai's bar and slept with her."
"Who," hisses Livia through gritted teeth, "is she?"
"I do not know much other than the fact she is called Bethany. I do not believe I caught her surname. And frankly, I do not care either. She does not matter."
That's not the right thing to say, and he realises it the moment the words leave his mouth.
"Do I," Livia snaps, "matter then?"
"Of course! Of course you do. You are the mother of my children."
"Is that all I am? A glorified incubator?"
"Livia," he begins slowly, "I do not know how to convince you, but I do love you. I don't love you the way I love Delaney, but it does not mean my love for you is false. As for this Bethany woman, well, we were already separated by the time I met her. Surely I am allowed to grieve the end of my marriage with a reckless decision or two."
"Grieve?" she all but shouts, "I am still legally your wife!"
"I know," he replies evenly, "but you won't be for much longer. I know what I have done is disrespectful. I will make it up to you."
"How do you intend to make up for such a betrayal?" she demands and he notices, for the first time, that her large brown eyes are wet with indignation.
He realises he has been misinterpreting the situation wrongly all this while. "Is that what you view it as? A betrayal?"
"How else should I view it?" She sniffs a little. "A joke? A reward? A signal to also jump in bed with the next man I see."
Raylen hesitates before continuing. "It is not up to me to tell you how you should view it. Your emotions are valid. I can only try to convince you of my perspective."
"Go on."
"I assumed you would be enraged by the negative attention this incident was drawing, but I did not expect you to take it personally given that you no longer love me."
She stares at him for a long time before exclaiming, "Raylen Vale! Are you actually stupid?" Her eyes are red now and he is feeling even guiltier than ever before.
"I have been called that a lot, yes." He isn't sure what else he can say.
"I… I didn't want a divorce anymore!"
Now it is his turn to be in shock. "Why not?"
"I didn't want to separate the kids anymore! And I didn't want to leave you behind either. And then you did something as unforgivable and disgusting as this!"
She has not said that she loves him, but she may as well as have. And, fortunately or unfortunately, Raylen is someone particularly susceptible to open displays of sincere affection.
He blames, likely rightfully, his childhood and his parents for it.
Suddenly, Livia's anger is not anger but liveliness. Her bitterness is not bitterness but concern. Her contempt is not contempt but jealousy.
She still cares, surely. For him. For their little family.
Without warning, he pulls her close. She yelps in surprise as she raises her leg to stop herself from falling into his embrace.
Her knee is now between his legs. He doesn't mind.
Looking up at his beautiful wife, he asks in a husky voice, "So tell me how can I make up for this unforgivable act?"
Livia is staring at him with a mix of shock and disbelief. He can guess that she is trying to wrap her head around his audacity.
Really, she should know him better than this. He almost always gets the things he sets his mind on.
His hand has now slipped under her soft dress and is moving up to the back of her thigh.
She does not push him away—that is a good sign. He repeats himself, "Tell me, darling, how can I make this up to you?"