He parted the sea for Musa (AS)
He cold the fire for Ibrahim (AS)
He sprouted a river in the desert for Ismail (AS)
He saved Nuh (AS) from a flood that destroyed the entire world
He kept Yunus (AS) in the belly of a whale, safe.
He took Yusuf (AS) from the depth of a well to the throne
He is the one who healed Ayub (AS)
He saved Hood (AS), Saleh (AS), and Loot (AS) from His wrath on their people
It's a matter of time when He will say 'Kun' to my prayers. It's been months, and I know sometimes I am so eager that I start to have negative thoughts, but in the end, there is no one I have but Him. I don't have power, He has. I don't know anything when He is the Knower of the unseen. How can I even question when I am nothing in front of him? Allah Subhanu Wa Ta'ala is the most merciful. I have felt that mercy my entire life then who am I to question his plans?
I can pray, all I have to do is pray, all I can do is to pray because I believe that one day my prayers will be answered. All of this is what He has planned for me. Indeed, He is the best planner
One day he will bless me with her.
One day I will no longer live in these desperate moments to just have a glimpse of her face. One day i will be able to hold her. One day she will be mine, forever. I just have to have patient till that day, I just have to wait because it might seem impossible right now but I know what He had written for me will be mine when it will be the time
Sometimes it's impossible to ignore her so I just close my eyes and pray because prayer is all I have in my power. Her brother- the beast is still hurting her and I don't know what to do
A few months earlier I saw her in my garden with a bleeding nose. I asked Baba for a favor, and he went to talk to her, but Mary refused to be helped.
I feel weak, I feel like a coward, Mary needs help and I am useless. 'Maybe in the future I would be able to do something' is a false hope that I keep on giving myself.
Maybe in the future, I would be able to do something
I said to myself again like a coward every time I see her hurt. I want to go to save her, I want to keep her safe but I can't go to her. I can't have her
I don't want to give her false hopes. What if I failed to help and make it worse for her? I can't even make her feel happy. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to give her false hopes
I don't believe in my words, so every time this happens, I just start to pray. I am still guilty for not helping her.
Maybe in the future, I would be able to do something for her