Zhu Lingjie sat in a daze for a long time before she came to her senses.
The joy of being reborn had already been greatly diluted.
Rationally, she could understand it.
Shi Hai having a girlfriend in college wasn't surprising.
After all, although she had known Shi Hai for many years, they had never really had a deeper connection.
Their relationship had remained at the level of 'childhood neighbors' and could not progress further.
Especially after Zhu Lingjie's family moved away, losing the advantageous 'neighbor' status, they barely saw each other until after graduating from university.
Zhu Lingjie remembered that the only time she saw Shi Hai during university was in the school library.
He sat there quietly reading all afternoon, while Zhu Lingjie hid in a corner, watching his side profile for the same duration.
She even marked that day as her lucky day, often wandering around the library hoping for another 'chance' encounter with Shi Hai...
However, the entire university time passed just like that.
Back then, Zhu Lingjie felt utterly desperate.
It was because of Shi Hai that she got into that university, yet their meetings during those four years could be counted on one hand... What was all her effort for?
Of course, she knew it was entirely her own problem.
Actually, Zhu Lingjie had a crush on Shi Hai for a long time.
She couldn't even remember when she started liking Shi Hai.
Because it was so long ago.
She also wanted to get closer to Shi Hai, but she just couldn't manage it.
This was because Zhu Lingjie had severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and mild androphobia.
Because of these psychological issues, she later developed social anxiety.
It was like she completely lost the ability to 'interact with people.'
She was slightly better with females, but when it came to males, she couldn't even utter a word.
Zhu Lingjie's psychological issues stemmed from witnessing something she shouldn't have as a child.
That was catching her father in the act of having an affair.
The dirty scene of her father entangled with an unfamiliar woman made her feel extremely uncomfortable and she fainted on the spot, scaring her father into taking her to the hospital immediately.
Later, Zhu Lingjie learned that her mother knew about and even tacitly agreed to her father's affair, as long as it didn't affect the family.
But as a result, Zhu Lingjie was left traumatized.
This made her father deeply regretful, prompting him to completely sever ties with his mistress and become very protective of his wife and daughter from then on.
This was why Zhu Lingjie's parents could now have a good relationship and go on a honeymoon.
However, the price for their harmonious marriage was that Zhu Lingjie could no longer interact with or even get close to boys without feeling nauseous.
Wherever she went, she had to be constantly prepared to disinfect herself and wouldn't allow anyone to touch her—not even family.
She only felt a tiny bit more comfortable around Shi Hai, whom she had liked for a long time.
That's why their elementary school teacher had seated them together, where they remained deskmates for six years.
With Shi Hai sitting beside her, Zhu Lingjie didn't feel as uncomfortable and could watch him from close up...
But saying more than a few words was still very difficult.
Her contradictory feelings always tormented her.
No... Actually, this wasn't the 'real reason.'
Later on, Zhu Lingjie realized she was just using her 'psychological issues' as an excuse.
So what if she had psychological problems? Didn't her feelings of love surpass that? In the end, she had never even tried to overcome it... Was it really impossible?
It was simply fear.
Because she had loved him for too long, too long to muster the courage to confess.
Because as long as she didn't confess, she wouldn't get hurt.
All she lacked was 'courage.'
Without the courage, no matter how much she liked him, she would eventually miss out.
But fate gave Zhu Lingjie another chance.
She had thought that after university, there would be no more opportunities to see Shi Hai.
Yet, as fresh graduates, both of them joined a new emerging company named 'Tianshi.'
Shi Hai took a technical position, while Zhu Lingjie became a legal advisor.
Their destinies miraculously continued to intertwine.
It felt like 'meant to be.'
At the company's welcome party, Zhu Lingjie gathered her courage and sat next to Shi Hai.
She drank a lot of alcohol, getting herself quite tipsy, hoping to use the alcohol-induced courage to confess her feelings.
However, she ended up blacking out from drinking too much... When she woke up, she found herself in Shi Hai's home.
Since they had known each other for a long time as childhood neighbors, Shi Hai couldn't just leave her there, nor could he let another man take advantage of her, so he carried her home.
Seeing Zhu Lingjie awake, Shi Hai's first reaction was to explain.
He assured her that although he had carried her back, he hadn't done anything inappropriate.
He hadn't even touched her skin, explaining everything to prove he meant no offense.
Only then did Zhu Lingjie realize that her behavior all these years had appeared to Shi Hai as 'rejection' and 'indifference.'
How could she confess now? It seemed like she had given him a negative impression!
However, this incident finally allowed them to start a real relationship.
She worked hard to explain her psychological issues to Shi Hai.
Upon learning the reasons, Shi Hai took great care of her at work.
Over time, many things happened, and Zhu Lingjie's psychological issues gradually improved.
Eventually, they ended up together...
Although the journey was difficult, the outcome was beautiful.
She finally achieved her dream of marrying her first love.
However, their happiness didn't last long.
Because Zhu Lingjie was reborn into the past.
She 'couldn't remember' what happened before her rebirth.
Initially, she was skeptical, wondering if it was all just a delusion.
But she refused to believe it was all her imagination.
Then came the anger.
Why did heaven take back the happiness she had just grasped?
Why choose her for this rebirth...?
After the anger, she calmed down and thought that this might not be a bad thing.
Although everything reset, she could start over.
And it was earlier than before—starting from university.
This was why she proposed to her parents to move back to their old home.
At least it would bring her physically closer to Shi Hai.
Living nearby would increase their chances of interaction, unlike last time when they only met once in four years of university.
So, meeting Shi Hai earlier became her most anticipated event after her rebirth.
To make a good impression on Shi Hai, she had put in a lot of effort to dress up.
And then she stumbled upon that scene...
The girl with the eye mask was probably his girlfriend from university. As far as she knew, Shi Hai hadn't dated anyone through high school.
But Shi Hai's university life was a complete mystery to Zhu Lingjie.
She never pried into his past relationships...
What he did with whom at home, she didn't know and had no way of knowing...
Even though Shi Hai said his mother was home, she probably just got off work around dinner time.
With the flexible university schedule, Shi Hai and that girl, Jian Sichun, might have been home all afternoon...
At this thought, Zhu Lingjie felt her stomach churn.
The intense nausea made her cover her mouth, tears squeezing out from the discomfort.
Her vision blurred, and the severe dizziness caused her to collapse.
This 'reaction'...!
It was just like when she caught her father cheating...
Why... She thought she had overcome this...
Zhu Lingjie lost consciousness.