Hōrō no Tenshi
Chapter 2: If Only...
Celestial Kingdom
Lake of Wishes
Things hadn't gone quite well, and Luz became a victim of a being known as the God of Evil, Lucifer...
A life for a life.
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...
- H-h-hey Mila, I'm really sorry, I'm so, so sorry, this can't be true...
This can't be happening, right!? I want you to believe that this isn't true, please, everything will be okay Mila. She fought until-
- Step aside.
- Huh..?
- Step aside, Demon! To hell with you! You're no angel or anything! YOU don't deserve to breathe the same air as us angels... I'm so sick of it... every damn day is always a living hell when you cross into the lives of others. Why don't you do everyone in the Kingdom a favor and disappear once and for all? Everything you touch turns to ruin... everything, all of this is your fault, all the evil in this world is in that black halo, it has to be...
- M-Mila... I-I really am so sorry, really, I'm sor-
Mila lunged at Anna and grabbed her by the throat
- I don't believe a creature like you has feelings, you know, but do you feel this pain? Do you feel how it hurts and ties a knot in your throat? It's what I'm living with right now, not being able to cry because of a promise I made to my sister...
(With a sad voice) It should have been me... I should have gone instead of her, why? Why do you exist, Anna?! Why?! WHY DO YOU EXIST, DAMN IT?!!!
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- Luz loved you very much, I'm sure if you had gone, she would be devastated right now...
- SHUT UP, WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW IF YOU'VE NEVER HAD A FRIEND! NOR A FAMILY, LET ALONE A SISTER! YOU'VE NEVER HAD ANYTHING!!!
Hearing those words, Anna felt like her heart was about to burst...
- If only...
If only I had ignored that smell of blood.
If only I had gone to deal with those demons.
If only I had run faster.
If only I had returned in time.
If only...
If only you stopped existing, it would be a relief for everyone, don't you think?
Mila pierced Anna's chest with her fist.
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- Hey Mila, stop, that's enough! (Marlon)
- Marlon, hold her, we need to separate her from Anna before this gets even worse.
- Let go of me, p-please, I have to finish off this demon...
- Stop it, Mila, control yourself!
- P-please, let me finish her off...
Marlon decides to use his technique to neutralize Mila; he can disable up to three joints of the person he observes.
- Alright, this should keep her from struggling too much, so I'll take her to the Sanctuary to recover from the trauma.
- And Luz's body?
- Check its condition and see if it's still possible to save her.
Ash cautiously approaches Luz's body, noticing several deep wounds on her neck, arms, legs, and the most severe on her abdomen. But above all...
- W-what does this mean...?
- Ash, what's happening?
- H-her soul, her soul ISN'T HERE!!!
- What? That can't be, it's impossible! The souls of fallen angels take up to a whole year to leave the body. It's only been a few minutes since it happened...
- I don't know why this is happening, it's the first time something like this occurs...
I'll take her to the Sanctuary, to the research chamber. I need to study this case carefully with the other angels.
-Okay, let's hurry then.
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...
Everyone left the Lake of Wishes.
Everyone
Everyone except Anna...
- Well, it looks like I'm alone here, alone...
Anna stared at the sky...
A tear fell down her cheek, like autumn leaves from the trees. Slowly, one after another.
- Who am I!? What am I?? Why does everyone who doesn't hate me end up dying!?
I, I really don't want to cause trouble for anyone, I don't want anyone else to suffer because of me, not anymore...
Maybe I really am a demon after all; I've never fit in with the other angels, they're all too good for someone as damned as me...
No more...
No more...
(Anna plunges her hand into her chest and grabs her heart, ready to tear it out...)
No more...
If only I could tear out my heart...
There would be no more sad faces or pain in this world, right?
If only I would stop existing...
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- Hey, stop, okay?
A voice suddenly spoke
- Do you really plan to end it like this?
- Huh..?
- Hey, seriously, stop!
- Who... are you... where... are you?
- Here! Look up!
- B-but... what the hell are you?
- I'm an angel!
- A... an angel!?
- Yes, just like you!
- I don't understand...
That mysterious voice, which identified itself as an "angel," had a somewhat strange body, different from the other angels...
(It had the form of biblical angels, not humanoid like those from the Celestial Kingdom)
- Please stop hurting yourself, okay? Don't you feel pain? What would your parents think if they saw you like this?!
- You see...
I've lost the will to keep living. As long as I'm alive, there will be sad faces, unhappy hearts, and misfortunes...
I've had enough, so-
- Don't even think about it. You can't die here, bleeding out while leaving others to live tormented their whole lives because of your mistakes!!
Don't sink into your loneliness; only you can try to change how others see you, and it starts with yourself.
Do it for those who hate you, do it for those who once gave you a smile or tried to understand you.
Do it for those who love you-
- Love..? I've always wanted to understand what it is...
Everyone says they have someone who loves them and they can love others...
Why can't I love others without being hated? It makes me so angry...
- You know? Once, someone told me: "The person you should love the most is your future self, and to love them, you must learn to love yourself."
Until today, I never understood that phrase until I found you. You look so lost and sad, without hope or reasons to live, but that's why you need to rise up and continue living more than ever. If you don't try, how will you know if one day you could also love and be loved?
Those words resonated deep in Anna's heart, filling her with emotion, filling her with hope...
- I'm not going to give up...
I'm scared; I know I might be treated like trash for the rest of my life or never accepted by others.
But.
I want to believe. I want to try to be loved by the rest of the angels and to love them.
So please... s-save me.
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Fifty years had passed since that accident at the Lake of Wishes.
Celestial Kingdom
Sanctuary
...
- And you, Freya? What about your report?
- Huh? M-my report?
- Don't tell me you forgot about the patrol you were supposed to do near the Sacred Fields!?
- Ahh... that report.
Well, yes. I did verify that the flowers are... many and are of different colors and species..., um, what else...?
- Are you kidding me? Even rocks know that!
- S-sorry, Sensei Mila, I'll go right now to make my report, I'm leaving!
- You better make sure this time it's for real! And you two, go repair Marlon's and Ash's armor along with the other angels' who went on patrol today!
- Understood!
- Understood, Sensei!
In the fifty years that passed, no one knew anything about Anna.
There had been some changes within the Celestial Kingdom; Mila had become the Sensei of the angels aspiring to be patrollers in the future.
And regarding Luz's body, nothing could be done to save her. They decided to bury her near the Divinity so she could rest in peace...
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- Well, we've arrived.
- I see it's been a long time since I last walked around here, hasn't it?
- Who knows, anyway, do you feel ready?
- Yes... I have to try. Only then will I know if the story could have gone differently.
- Are you scared?
- I'm angry.
- Ah, really?
- I'm angry that I can't love others or be loved. I'm tired of this circus I'm forced to live in...
If only you hadn't saved me that day, who knows if I'd still be here today, standing, to change my life...
- Well, go ahead.
- Here I go.
- Goodbye, Anna, see you.
- See you, Bebé.
End of Chapter 2