"Those who come into this world are truly the most unfortunate ones," the pot-bellied fat sage murmured as he shook his head slowly. He turned around to look at me.
"Well, I suppose there's not much to say", the sage closed his eyes as he took out a small sheet of paper. "But first things first, we must take a picture." The sage took out a small instant camera. He snapped a quick picture in my face. Finally, unable to bear the confusion of the situation, I spoke up.
"Sir, I understand that I probably just died, so is this the afterworld that I've been transported to?"
There was a long silence as the sage slowly took the photo out of the camera. He then took a small card and carefully, as not to mess the photo up, pasted it onto the card.
"The most straightforward answer is yes, you have passed. Do you remember your passing?"
"I slightly recall, but wait, you still haven't answered my previous question"
The sage interrupted me, "I suppose you have recalled them. Now to answer your question, no, this is not the afterlife you are thinking of, but yes, this is similar. It is what you ungrateful humans wish for: a second chance at life. Seriously, why don't you guys do it right the first time?"
"Maybe if you listened to us, we could've…" I muttered.
"Ah, nevermind! You humans always have an excuse up your sleeve." The sage had a slight look of disgust and pity on his face. He reminded me of one of those womanizing office bosses in soap operas. He sat cross legged in a spacious office chair, and had a large unkempt oak desk which held a myriad of office supplies. He finished writing on the card, and soon gave it to me.
"What's this? An otherworldly drivers' license?"
"No, you dense mortal, it's your card with your abilities."
"Abilities? Like a role-playing game?"
"I suppose."
"Wouldn't that just make me literally living in an isekai-ish world?"
"What's this newfangled slang you're using?"
"Forget it," I said as I took a look at the card. It was the size of a library card. To the left, there was the picture he took of me. To the right, it said the name, Seidou. Below the name, there were two large words in an foreign language. Below each word was more of this language.
"Wait a minute, this isn't even my name! And what is this script? It doesn't seem like anything I've ever seen in my life!"
"Well too bad, now it is. The language that is used in the world you are about to be reincarnated!" The sage's frown turned into a slight smirk. "I see you haven't seen the most important part." The sage got down from his chair and wobbled over. "Take a look at the very top, what do you think these are?"
I turned my attention towards where he was pointing. There were four dark vertical slashes next to each other. "I assume these are solely for decorative purposes?" I sarcastically asked him.
The sage took a step back, almost falling over. "Ai! I thought a person like you would have more brain! Out of all the victims I've seen today, you are the most difficult one I've had to deal with! Agh! Are you retarded?"
"Do you not appreciate my sarcasm?"
"No! Why can't you humans just be straight to the point? It would make life so much easier for you!"
"You still haven't told me what the slashes are for, haven't you?"
The sage staggered back to his chair and plopped down. He took a deep breath and began, "These are how many lives you have. As you might have seen, there are four. That means you have four lives in the world." he repeated slowly, as if I were a kindergartner listening to a storybook. "Each time you use up one of your lives, you will end up here. If you run out of lives, you will die. Forever. Geez! Why is it so hard to explain to each one of you humans?"
"Wait, so if I die, I'll actually die?"
"I suppose. Who knows? No one that has died here has ever come back. Anyways, I'm getting impatient. I have more people I need to send down. Are you ready? Once you die, you can always come back for a peaceful chat." The sage opened up a dark portal and motioned for me to step into it.
"Peaceful" huh? Peaceful my ass! That sage is nothing but a pain in the ass. "Wait! Before I leave, what is your name?"
The sage laughed and waved me off. "Don't worry about it! I'll tell you once you die for the first time! Now on you go!"
I took a step towards the portal, and my heart started beating quickly. I could feel the force of the portal drawing me in. I closed my eyes, and jumped.
I fell, and fell, and fell, until everything seemed dizzy, and I closed my eyes.