The smoggy horizon was gradually replaced by the looming skyline of Metropolis. Wade's eyes sparkled behind his mask as he caught sight of his destination. As the city unfolded before him, Wade leaned back in the rickety seat of the WWII plane, crossing his arms with the satisfaction of a job well done.
"Atlantis, check. Cursed island, check. Finally heading back to civilization." He sighed in mock relief, his mind whirling as he gazed at the city of steel and glass.
"Aah, the sweet scent of… freedom, democracy, and—what else?—oh right, healthcare for all," he said with a thick layer of sarcasm "not that i need it~". He gave a dramatic sigh. "Finally! Home!"
(Our home crushed because our fucking author got no other way to get us involved!)
"Now, how hard can it be to find a place to crash—"
The hum of the plane's engine spluttered once, then died entirely.
The grin faded. "Oh no. Not like this."
"Whoa, hold on!" He yanked at the yoke, trying for some semblance of control. "Easy, girl, just need to land somewhere… inconspicuous… maybe a nice park or, uh, anywhere but the biggest tower. we don't want any wars "
The closer it got, the clearer the building's letters became.
But the plane had other plans, diving with single-minded ferocity toward the tallest building in the city: LexCorp....like some weird fate was pushing it
The landing wasn't exactly a smooth one. Wade crashed through three floors, bypassed at least ten offices, and screeched to a halt directly into Lex Luthor's penthouse office, debris spilling in his wake. Wade crawled out of the cockpit, patting down his suit like he'd just stepped off a bus instead of a nearly totaled aircraft.
"Hey, Lexie! Long time no see!." Wade straightened up and saluted, a lopsided grin visible even beneath his mask.
Lex Luthor sat unphased at his desk, slowly lowering his newspaper to reveal an expression that could freeze lava. He didn't blink as he reached into his drawer, pulling out a monogrammed tissue and delicately dusting his suit.
"Welcome back, Wade," he replied in a glacial tone. "I'd offer you a seat, but—well, you just destroyed it."
"Fair. Though, I have to say, I thought a LexCorp window would've put up a better fight."
Lex's frown deepened. He glanced at his guards, giving them a subtle nod. "As much as I appreciate your… enthusiasm, I regret to inform you we have no missions available at this time." He gestured toward the guards, who stepped forward, glaring at Wade.
"Oh come on, Lex. Not even one teensy-weensy assassination attempt? A little extortion? Maybe a quick raid on a hidden lab? You know I could do with a little extra cash."
But Lex merely looked on, impassive. "Guards. Show Mr. Wilson out."
With a gleeful grin, Wade allowed himself to be lifted by the guards, who marched him toward the massive glass doors. "What, no 'thank you for visiting'? The man saves you from all kinds of boredom, and this is the thanks he gets? I even gave you a reason to invade Ira—uh, wait, or is it Bialya?" He paused, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Anyway! I meant for you to bring freedom and democracy!"
As the guards shoved him out onto the LexCorp building's pristine marble landing, Wade could only chuckle, taking his fall as gracefully as possible. The doors locked behind him, and he pulled himself to his feet, dusting off what little was left to dust. He turned to face the building, staring up at the many floors, the glint of glass and metal under the noon sun. Then, as if flipping a mental switch, Wade's expression turned mischievous.
"Oh, you wanna play hard-to-get, huh, Lex?" he muttered.
With one last look at the towering skyscraper, Wade's grin morphed into a mischievous smirk. He already had plans ticking in his head, ideas piling one on top of another in classic Wade fashion. But first… a little shopping.
___________________________________
A Few Days Later
Wade had taken to the streets, seeking out the city's underbelly, and in doing so, had become a makeshift hero for those without homes. With a few hilarious schemes, he managed to host a party for the local homeless community, complete with food, drinks, and a questionable amount of confetti. It was loud, chaotic, and entirely in his wheelhouse.
As he threw a handful of chips into the air, cheering for the crowd around him, the door to the alleyway swung open. The guards from LexCorp stepped in, their faces hard and unforgiving.
"Wade Wilson," one of them barked, cutting through the revelry like a knife. "You need to come with us. Mr.Lex wants to see you."
Wade blinked, momentarily taken aback. "Aw, c'mon! I'm in the middle of a party! Look, I've got cupcakes and everything!" He gestured at the half-eaten treats scattered around.
"Now," the guard repeated, his tone brokering no argument.
"Congratulations wade" Lex began, his voice dripping with politeness. The corners of his mouth quirked into a semblance of a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Wade raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Congratulations? What'd I win? A shiny trophy? A lifetime supply of tacos?"
Lex leaned forward, hands steepled in front of him. "It seems that a mysterious Owlman has stolen something important from us."
Wade's interest piqued, he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. "So~?"
Lex's smile faltered slightly, a muscle in his jaw twitching. The tension in the room thickened as the words hung between them. "When we contacted Sportsmaster, he was found in a coma," Lex continued, his tone steady but with a hint of frustration bubbling beneath the surface.
Wade shrugged, a playful grin dancing on his lips. "So~?"
"Additionally," Lex's voice strained with barely suppressed irritation, "Deathstroke is currently hiding from the Court of Owls..... And you're the most trusted man after them....""
Wade's eyebrows shot up. "So~?
At that, Lex's patience finally wore thin. His face turned a deep shade of crimson, and he slammed his hands on the desk, causing the scattered papers to flutter into the air. "So take this fucking mission, goddamn it!"
With that, he stormed out of the office, the heavy door swinging shut behind him with a resounding bang. Wade stood there for a moment, wide-eyed, before bursting into laughter. "Geez, someone needs to take a chill pill!"
As the laughter subsided, Lex's secretary, Mercy Graves, stepped forward, her demeanor professional and unyielding. "Mr. Wilson, if you would follow me, I can provide you with the details of your mission."
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