'F***, why is it so cold?' Kaes thought, as the first thing he had felt when he regained consciousness was the blistering cold around him.
The moment he opened his eyes he wanted to close them as snow flew straight into them. But he couldn't stop them as it felt like something was prying his eyes open to witness what was soon to unfold.
Not even a few feet in front of him lay a man, blood splattered into the snow all around him, while even more poured out of him. Before Kaes could even process what he was looking at his feet already moved to the man as he crouched down and one word left his lips.
"papa."
A voice cried out with a russian accent, but instead of it being his normal voice it was a feminine voice, one that he thought was familiar. He didn't even know this man, so he wouldn't just run to him, much less call him 'papa'.
However when his hands came up his mind seemed to have a shocking revelation.
"Ohh s***." Kaes saw that one of his hands was in a glove but the other was bare, small, and white. Being black it didn't take long for him to come to the assumption that this wasn't his body and even more than that he wasn't in control of it, that he was just a spectator.
"Uhhhhh." Kaes groaned out he was still tired as all f*** and now even worse he was stuck in somebody's body and forced to watch whatever they do, feel whatever they feel.
As he was thinking, he felt their hands push into the man, he felt the blood stain their glove and cover their hands. But it was clear to anyone watching that whoever this was they weren't doing anything no matter how much strength they used.
He felt their mouths open and release cries, and every second made him wish he was deaf. Each cry felt heartbreaking, and full of anguish that even made Kaes feel empathetic to their plight.
Tears left their eyes only to freeze to their face due to the cold air, and even though it hurt like crazy the tears wouldn't stop and they continued freezing to their face. And even after their frozen tears covered the area around their eyes, the tears still didn't stop, whoever the man was meant a great deal to whoever was crying.
However the more Kaes watched the more he couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity, emotionally and physically.
"This excessive use of emotion, the smaller frame, her stubbornness, that's my mom." Kaes smiled for the first time in a while in deprecating humor. "But who's that then, my grandfather." Kaes said, looking at the dead man surrounded in blood and snow.
"Pity." Kaes said with a slight jolt of emotion.
This undoubtedly wasn't the present, perhaps a hallucination, perhaps everything this day was a hallucination and he could just sober up and wake back up and then go straight back to sleep. Yet oddly enough he doubted that this was really a dream and that everything he experienced and saw was reality.
However his words brought something up, if this was the past and he was watching his mother's memory, why would he be watching her memory of all people. Something about this didn't feel right, sure this whole day had been terrible but still, some little voice in his head was telling him, he was missing some important piece.
Snap
The sound of a twig breaking in half startled him and his past mother before he felt everything around him change. Now he was staring at the face of a familiar looking black man, draped in a leather black coat, showing a soft smile on his face.
"I mean I know that cry, I've been singing it everyday since I was born. The cry of losing someone who meant the world to you." The man started off, his smile turning slightly depricating, it seemed that his words touched a sore spot for him. Kaes watching from his past mother's eyes seemed to raise up his eyebrows for a second in curiosity before he heard another voice.
"Who… did, you lost, then?" His past mother's voice came out, full of slow, botched English, yet with a cry for empathy and warmth that anybody could hear.
"My mom and just a few years ago, my dad. That s*** is a pain like no other, and each time you can feel your heart break just a little more." Kaes could feel a twitch circulating through their whole body at his words, though Kaes could kinda piece together why. "So you?"`The odd man said as a cold breeze came.
"My papa, he was… a good, pierson, one of, the best." His past mother spoke, with her limited experience with English on view for the man. Yet her strong emotions for her papa were laid bare for all.
"It's always those ones, sometimes you just never realize until it is too late." Even though she misspoke or took breaks, he didn't care and responded normally with his original soft smile. His eyes glanced over at them with a kind look.
"Скажите, эта боль когда-нибудь заживет?(Tell me will this pain ever heal.)" The words this time came in Russian, much more clearer but only to those who spoke Russian, leaving the man with a blank face. And as they looked at his expression they ended up turning away for a few obvious reasons Kaes could guess.
"A wise man told me that after you lose someone you will think about them day in and day out. You will wake up thinking about them for weeks or months until one day you won't. It's because you realize that you lost something you can never really get back, love of a father or a mother, brother or sister,...lover it's gone and it ain't ever coming back, yet your mind ultimately makes the decision to move forward." The man spoke his heart out, but as he breathed in and out the cold air anybody could see he wasn't finished as even past Irina turned back around.
"If you're lucky, that is, I wake up thinking of her each and every day. What I'd give just to be in her arms for a second more." His voice was filled with a grand sense of longing, yet sorrow just the same, leaving Kaes confused on who this man is, and why his mom even knew him.
"So to answer your question…может быть(maybe)." The man said, shrugging his shoulders, going from a wise old man to a child in a second.
'Yo who the f*** is this n****?' Kaes thought, at the start of this bit, he was slightly curious about who he was, but now he had few questions for his mom when he left this place. Because it felt odd but he could tell that the two of them had a facial similarity, and were much closer in personality than he would've liked.
Even worse Kaes thought there was a possibility that he was getting a first person POV to his mother and his father meeting. However before the memory could continue, cracks, like cracks on glass, seemed to blur his vision, and through the cracks came a pinkish fog. And as more fog came through, his sight became more and more blurred until he couldn't see the man or the memory at all.
"Hmm…" Kaes was confused as his body felt normal and he could actually move now, but he was confused at all this fog surrounding him. But now instead of the memory all he could see was their house back in Miami, his baby pictures, a statue, and in a snowy part a wooden cabin.
"Why do I get the feeling that fog is going to come closer to me." Kaes spoke out, and when the fog did just that a tear almost left his eyes. "Come on man are you f****** kidding me!" Kaes screamed out because looking back on the pattern of the day that fog was something that was only going to cause him pain.
"F*** this day." Kaes said as the fog approached him even faster, as he didn't even bother to move, and just closed his eyes, as the fog engulfed him. At first the fog didn't do much of anything, besides prickle his skin, however that was until he felt a pain all over his body like something was piercing into his flesh.
The pain he felt was horrendous, and he was now on the verge of passing out for the twentieth time today. "F*** this s***." Kaes screamed out, his voice full of nothing but irritation and rage. However the moment he was done screaming the fog moved inside of his mouth and forced its way up into his brain.
Out of nothing but pure painful stimuli he opened his eyes only for them to red and black, and in less than a second the fog pierced them too. As he held back the agonizing scream of having one of the most sensitive areas of the human body pierced he looked around his entire body only to see nothing had changed, and that even though it felt like his skin was ripping there wasn't a drop of blood.
"No, blo-." Kaes couldn't even finish his thought as he coughed up a blob of greyish black goo, as he slowly started rising up, and losing control of his body once more.
"No, hey what is that?" He said his black and red eyes glued to what he coughed up. He didn't know what it was but he knew it was important, but mostly that it was his and he was leaving it against his will.
"No, let me get real quick." He said to no one as his body didn't stop rising up, "Come on, I, I, need it, please." Kaes' voice now carried a hint of desperation, as his eyes turned back to normal. However, against his wishes he kept rising up, until he was finally above the pinkish fog.
The moment he was away from the fog all of the pain he was feeling was gone, yet the fog didn't seem to want him to leave yet, as it flew up and chased him with a ferocity.
"Are you f****** with me, ayo whatever's doing something do it faster. That s*** is f****** alive." Kaes screamed out to whatever would f****** listen as he really didn't want to be anywhere near this thing anymore. First off this fog was an unknown supernatural variable, and second it seemed to have a problem with him even though he did nothing wrong.
The fog was coming quickly at him, surrounding him from all sides, as he closed his eyes, accepting and lamenting whatever fate had in store for him. However, before the fog could engulf him once more, it was as if his prayers were answered as he ended up disappearing only to end up being at what he could best describe as a hospital room.
POP
The popping noise caught Kaes off guard as he had just gone from being at what he thought was the end of the line, to what he could best guess is another memory of his mom. However he couldn't focus as he was being hit by multiple different sensations all at once.
"Why does my stomach hurt, and my hair is sticking to my face, like…" Kaes spoke out loud before understood what was happening and all he could say was, "Yep."
"We apologize about the fireworks Ms. Van Helsing, it seems somebody has a lot to spare." a woman came up to them, and in her hands was a green blanket that even Kaes remembered. "Here's your little one, here's mommy, little guy." The woman said, placing the blanket in their hands as they looked at a cute, little, black baby all swaddled up.
"Mhmm." Kaes grunted as he didn't know what to say or think, it felt odd to carry and hold his baby self, and part of him felt grateful that this was the only part he was getting.
Kaes could feel a smile blossom on their lips as she held baby Kaes. She started to slowly grind their finger against his skin while he cooed in pleasure, causing the both of them to smile even more.
However, before she could continue, his vision cut to him looking at the carpet of the room before catching the side of his mother's head in view, and quickly his heartbeat started to ramp up in panic.
Gasp
Hearing his mother struggling to breathe, he tried to move only to be stopped by something lodged in his mouth. 'Nuisance.' he thought, as something went into his mouth but he was no longer concerned about that as he needed to check on his mom. And what he saw left his heart in shambles.
"Mom."