As I was enjoying the happiest moment of my life, my sister drew closer again. Thinking she was about to kiss me once more, I closed my eyes and waited for it. However, the sensation I expected never came. Instead, I felt her hands on my waist, and in the next moment, my body was lifted off the chair.
"W-What are you doing?"
I protested, but my sister didn't answer. She carried me in her arms and headed toward our bedroom. Fearing that struggling might be dangerous, I stayed still and let her carry me. She gently placed me on the bed, then climbed on top of me, straddling me.
"Are you sleepy already? It's still a bit early, but if you're tired, we can sleep together."
But for some reason, my sister didn't say anything for a while. She wasn't putting her weight on me, so it wasn't uncomfortable, but I couldn't move. Silently, she began to stroke my hair, brushing it from my forehead. Although her expression seemed to be smiling, her eyes were fixed. Why isn't she saying anything? Did I do something to make her angry?
"I-I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong? Please say something. I won't do it again, just don't leave me."
My happiness quickly turned into fear as the thought of being abandoned by my sister crossed my mind. I clung to her desperately, looking up at her. What did I do wrong? What should I do? As these thoughts raced through my mind, my sister suddenly embraced me. With her draped over me, I could feel her heartbeat and her scent, which helped ease my anxiety. As I began to calm down, I finally heard her voice.
"Why… why would you think that?"
"Sis?"
The voice I heard near my ear was the most fragile I had ever heard from her. Confused by this unfamiliar situation, I listened as she continued to speak in a faint voice.
"I thought I had been expressing my love to you in my own way. Yet, every time, you doubted it and became anxious. Just yesterday, you even asked if I was dating Shinobu. It seems my love hasn't reached you at all."
I had never seen my sister look so anxious before. I never realized that my own insecurities were causing her to feel this way too.
"I-I'm sorry."
"No, you don't need to apologize. Considering everything with those people, it's understandable that you'd feel that way. It's just that I couldn't convey my feelings strongly enough to overcome it."
The moment she said that, it all made sense. I realized why I couldn't bring myself to fully trust my sister. I was scared—scared of losing love again. If I convinced myself that I was the only one who loved her, I wouldn't have to fear losing it. If I pretended not to notice her love or believed that I was never loved to begin with, I could make excuses when I lost it again. I could say it was never there in the first place. But that way of thinking was what had been hurting her.
"It's not your fault. I'm sorry for not being able to believe in your love. I won't doubt you anymore from now on."
I resolve to comfort my older sister. Yet, even as I spoke, I can't help but feel that deep down, I'll probably doubt her again. Realizing this is one thing, but whether I can change it is another matter entirely.
"Yes, that would be fine. But you know, it hurts me too. Because no matter how much time passes, you still don't understand."
When she said that, I was left speechless. Because of my own weakness, I ended up hurting my sister. Overwhelmed with guilt and an unbearable feeling, my sister sat up, looked me in the eyes, and spoke clearly.
"That's why I've decided. I'm going to take all of you. A kiss isn't enough. I want you to know my love in every corner of your body."
Her eyes were murky, filled with madness. But in those eyes, so close that I could feel her breath, there was nothing but me. That made me inexplicably happy, filling me completely.
"I'll never let you go again. I swear to love you so much that you won't have a moment to feel insecure. So let's stay together forever, okay?"
With those words, my sister gently placed a kiss on me.