Chapter 6: Injected
"What happened, your highness?" Miseok caressed Hera's hair as she buried her face on her chest. Her whole shoulders shook and melted in her nanny's arms, and no matter how hard she embraced the princess, it never seemed to stop.
Hera shook her head as she clung to the sleeves of Miseok's uniform with trembling hands, which gave Miseok a glimpse of the princess' bleeding hand. Crescent red marks ran across her palm. Although the blood had dried off, one could still see how deep these wounds had gotten.
As a reflex, Miseok peeled Hera away from her and grabbed her hand to look at her wounds closely. The worried nanny then wordlessly took her other hand to see the same wounds.
She looked at the princess' bloodshot eyes. This time, her gaze was bright with fury. "Did he do this to you?"
Miseok could hardly control her anger, and Hera could see that. She was touched by how worried her nanny got, she almost said yes just to get back at the emperor. But in the end, she still shook her head and admitted, "It was me. I-I just got angry…and helpless…"
Miseok's eyes softened slightly, but the anger in them didn't lessen. "Oh, your highness!" She pulled the princess back into a hug. "I apologize for failing to protect you. It was entirely my fault!"
Hera shook her head. "No, it wasn't. None of this was our fault. It was his and his alone." The princess pulled away and wiped her tears with her wrist before she took a deep breath to compose herself. "Miseok, he lifted the royal decree. He allowed me to step out of the manor, but I have to bring Simon everywhere with me. And if I refuse…" somehow, the memories of being there resurfaced in her mind. The swords were unsheathed. Her heart raced. Simon was on the floor. She was about to die.
In a snap, it was like she was there again, standing below the person who wanted to kill her without swinging the sword himself. She felt so repulsed, the ceiling started to swirl and the bed seemed to collapse under her. She couldn't breathe and she felt like being broken in half. She felt like she was burning. She felt hot. She felt like melting. What is happening?
Miseok caught her shoulders and stilled her. "Your highness! Your highness! Listen to me!" Miseok shook her shoulders, but she couldn't focus. Everything seemed to blur. Her chest felt hot. She felt like exploding. "Your highness! Collect yourself!"
But I can't, Hera heard a voice in her head. Whether it was her or not, she couldn't tell. I can't control it! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm a mo–
She got lost in the voices she was hearing in her head. They were everywhere, and they were sorry and sorry and sorry and sorry then, suddenly, nothing. Complete silence.
She saw the ceiling again but she was already lying down. She had fallen on the floor. Her eyelids were heavy. She wanted to sleep. Before she did, she saw a disheveled Miseok looking down at her with a syringe in hand. Then, nothing.
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Vanilla.
There was a strong scent of vanilla and frosting in the air. There was also cinnamon, then some sugar. She heard some crunch and then tasted something sweet in her mouth.
Then, everything came into focus. There were flowers and leaves that covered a big silver dome above them. There were blue butterflies around and she was in front of a two-tiered cupcake tray and some toasted bread with butter. She thought they were sweet and liked them.
She reached for the yellow cupcake in front of her and saw small, chubby hands. Her fingers were the size of a matchstick, and they only covered half of the cupcake when she grabbed it.
But it felt normal, like her hands were always that way. They weren't. Or were they?
"El, stop that! You've had enough!" a voice reprimanded her as an adult hand took the yellow cupcake from her. A face emerged in front of her; it was of a woman with magenta eyes. Her face was bright. She was reprimanding her but she was still smiling. "This is already your fifth cupcake, sweetheart. Too much sweets is not good for you!"
She looked lovely. She wanted to hug her, but she spoke instead. "But I want more!"
Her voice was small and thin and wasn't hers.. It was young. It was El's. She isn't El. Who is El?
"You can have more tomorrow, baby." The woman smiled at her and placed the yellow cupcake on the tray. She flicked her hand and the whole tray of cupcakes was suddenly gone.
"Wah!" she gasped. "Where did my cupcakes go?!"
The woman smiled and took her from her seat. She was warm. "Somewhere you can't reach!" She laughed playfully before she planted a kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes to feel it.
It was soft and warm. She liked it… until she didn't.
It was warm then it became soft and prickly and ice cold and moist and damp.
She opened her eyes and she was in her room. A wet towel was placed on her forehead. She saw a retreating maid's back. The maid closed the doors. There was no one else, but she still looked around because she was looking for someone. She wanted to see someone. Who was it again?
She was talking to someone. Or did she? She wanted to see that person again. Or did she?
She squeezed her eyes closed. Suddenly, her head hurt.
"Your highness! Thank Asteria!" The doors opened and Miseok came running to her. She quickly put the basin of water she held down and sat beside her. She grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles with a smile. "How are you feeling? Does it hurt anywhere?"
Hera gave Miseok a weak smile. "I am feeling fine. Thank you, Miseok."
She smiled. "I am glad to hear that. I was worried because I injected you again."
The picture of Miseok looking down at her holding a syringe came back to her. Her nanny did inject her with something. Was she supposed to know about it? But she doesn't know anything.
"I… I don't–" she shook her head, furrowing her brows.
"I sincerely apologize, your highness, but I had to do it. You were… um… spiraling… again…"
That didn't make any sense to her. No memory came up. No fantasy world's knowledge.
After what happened with the emperor, she realized that she couldn't go on like this. She has to know about this world if she wants to survive. She has to know who Hera was and what this world is. And the only person who can give her all that information is the woman in front of her. She is the only one she could trust right now, and she believes she can be honest with her.
"Miseok, I,,, I have to tell you something." She squeezed her nanny's hand. "To tell you the truth, I… I am…" she hesitated; words refusing to bring themselves out of her lips.
"What is it, your highness?" Miseok urged.
How do I even say this? Hera thought because how does one even tell the people around them that she wasn't of their world? That she transmigrated into their world that she knew nothing of? That she wasn't the person they thought she was? That she wasn't Hera? How can she tell the only person who cared about the real Hera that the Hera she knew is now gone? How can she break Miseok's heart only enough for her to still help her?
I can't do this, she thought. I don't have to be honest. I can't hurt Miseok…
The pang in her chest urged her to lie instead. And she did.
"I can't remember anything since my eighteenth birthday," she told her, looking down. "I am sorry."
Miseok gasped. "Oh my heavens…"
"That is why, if I shall have any chance at beating the emperor, I need your help." Hera looked at her nanny's teary eyes.
"O-Of course, your highness. Anything!"
She breathed deeply. "You have to tell me everything: what I used to be like, my childhood, my likes and dislikes, the norm of this world—everything. Do not leave anything out, you hear me?"
Miseok nodded eagerly. "Understood, your highness."
"Thank you, Miseok. I am eternally grateful to you," she gave Miseok a small smile. "Let us start with this injection you were talking about. What is it? Does it bear any importance to me or to the emperor?"
Miseok hesitated but ultimately answered her. "Yes, your highness…"
"What is it?"
"It contained a potion from the empress," she said, "A potion produced to kill you."