Chapter 32 - Chapter 32: "Closure"

Demian woke up the next morning cradled in Dracos arms, a familiar feeling of safety enveloped him for the first time in a while. That is until he saw the dark mark tainting Dracos bare skin. His stomach twisted and he instinctively sat up in bed, this woke Malfoy and he groaned in displeasure."Please, it's so early." He said under his breath, trying to coax him back into bed.Demians heart was racing, and he swallowed nervously, "It's nothing, I'm sorry. Just a bad dream." He lied. "But I don't think I can sleep anymore."Draco groaned again, "Agh fine, I'm up." He sat up he brushed his fingers through his hair, moving it away from his tired face.Demian felt a kiss on his shoulder and smiled a bit, his heart that had just calmed started to race once more."You have no idea how much I've missed you." Draco said suddenly. Demian felt the familiar heat of blush staining his cheeks."I would have come home sooner, had you just said something." He admitted to him.Draco sighed, "You're right. And I'll make that up to you in the future." He promised.This made Demian smile again, hands snaked around his waist and pulled him closer, he leaned into Dracos grasp."We need to figure something out, about the mark." Demian said suddenly. "Summer is getting closer every day..."Dracos grasp got a little looser, he sighed once again. "Every time I think about it, I feel sick." Draco admitted, a hint of fear in his voice.Demian looked up at him, studying his face. He could see the worry. He could hear his heartbeat quickening for a different reason than his own. He felt so sorry for him. He felt responsible for his fate. He turned away, unable to look at him any longer."Draco I...I never apologized.""For what?" He said, curiously."For being the reason you have this mark. For being the reason that all of this is happening. I can't imagine the pain you've endured. I thought just coming out as gay was going to be the hardest thing I did this year, but you...you've given so much for me."Draco was silent for a moment, searching for the right words to say, but they never came. Demian continued,"I should thank you. For everything you did for me. For us. There's nothing in the world I could say right now to express how much it matters to me, but I just know that I will never forget it."The room was quiet for a moment and Draco slowly turned him around cupped his face, he kissed him once deeply and leaned his forehead against Demians, "Thank you..." He said, quietly. Demian could see tears in his eyes but they never fell. They shared in a moment of comfort within one another until it was time to get ready for classes.The rest of the week was uneventful and filled with exams, Demian flew through them with a new sense of confidence. He felt fulfilled for the first time in a while and was determined to figure out whatever he could about the dark mark as soon as the O.W.L.s were over. That Friday night, as he exited his last test a weight lifted off his chest. He sighed with relief and headed to his common room. Peter was sitting on the couch with Penny already, basking in the fireplace."Hey man." He said, "It's finally fucking over.""You're telling me, I feel amazing leaving that last class." He exhaled and sat next to them."So, what's going on tonight then?"Peter shrugged a bit, "Nothing that I know of, everyones still a little you know, put off on the partying."A pang of guilt stabbed Demian."You know I heard he came back tonight."Anoth pang of guilt, accompanied by Demians stomach dropping."He-he did?"Peter just nodded.The room was quiet for a minute."So, are you going to say anything to him?" Penny said, suddenly.Peter shot her a look but he ignored him, staring right at Demian."I'm not sure I should..." He admitted to them."That's bullshit." Peter said. "You need closure, and you know it.""I never said I didn't." Demian said sharply, "But Draco...""What does you getting closure have anything to do with him?" Penny said."You guys are right, I just...things are going so well with us I don't want anything to throw it off.""So tell him." Peter said, "Don't hide it."Demian sighed. "Fuck you guys, for being right." He stood up suddenly."I'm going to do it now, while I'm running on pure adrenaline. Swear I could pass out at any moment."Peter and Penny both laughed."Good luck." Penny said."I'm going to need it." Demian replied. He turned on his heels and headed for the Slytherin common room.When he entered, he saw him standing there with Blaise, he tried not to catch his gaze but his heart skipped a beat when their eyes met briefly. He walked right up to Dracos door and went inside. Draco wasn't there yet. He sighed, feeling his moment of courage dissipating. He wrote him a note, explaining what was going on."Draco,Terrence is back. I'm going to ask him what happened and attempt to get some closure. Please don't be angry with me.I love you.Demian."He left it sitting on his dresser and exited the room quickly.He walked back into the common room and straight up to Higgs. "Terrence um...can I talk to you for a minute?"He broke away from his conversation and looked at him, "About what?" He said, coldly."I just, need to speak with you." He said, his courage slipping once more form the words coming out of his mouth."Fine, make it quick." He said. Blaise nodded and walked away, giving Demian an awkward wave.When they were finally alone, he broke the silence, "What is it Demian?" Terrence said. "What could you possibly want from me now?""Closure." He responded under his breath."Closure?" He questioned, "And what about my closure?"Demian was silent, he felt selfish. "Was my closure seeing him stick his tongue down your throat, or overdosing?"His words stung. Demian felt tears welling up in his eyes, he shuffled his feet nervously but couldn't talk."I'm sorry." Demian said quietly. "For everything.""Oh, you're sorry." Terrence said, "That's cute. You know, I'm sorry to."Demian looked up at him."Sorry I ever thought for one second you were the person I loved. You broke me Demian, saying sorry can't fix what happened to me. What happened to us. You have no idea what the fucks been going on with me, so caught up with your newfound love. Was it Draco or the Professor? I've heard so many things since coming back."Demian couldn't hold the tears back any longer and they fell freely.Terrence sighed and turned away from him."Fuck, stop crying." He said. "I wont forgive you just because you cry." His words broke, but he didn't turn back to face him."The truth is Demian, I wanted to die rather than be without you. But now I know that you never had feelings for me, you had feelings for whoever gave you the most attention." He crossed his arms his back still turned to Demian."That's not true." Demian said, finally speaking. He gathered what little courage remained after his harsh words. "I did have feelings for you, Terrence. You have no idea how hard it was for me to choose."Terrence scoffed but remained silent,"I felt horrible for what happened to you, I tried to not have anything to do with that night at the party. I didn't want you to see any of it and I tried to make Draco stop...I even came to visit you while you were unconscious against his wishes.""That doesn't make up for what happened." He said harshly."It doesn't. But it's the truth. You need to know how happy I am that you're alive."Terrence finally turned around, but didn't look at him. He sighed, audibly."I need time, Demian. Please."He just nodded, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He turned to walk away, heading straight for Dracos dorm where he waited for him to return. He contemplated throwing the note away, but decided against it. Eventually, Malfoy came home for the night. He was laughing with someone in the hallway when he entered, Demian curled up in bed already."Hey what's going on, are you okay?" He said immediately, sitting on the edge of the bed."Not really." Demian admitted."Talk to me." He insisted. Demian sat up, his eyes were red."You were right.""About what?" Draco said curiously."About Higgs. He did try to kill himself."Draco just sighed. "Demian, we've been through this already. It isn't your fault that fucking-" He stopped himself, "That he chose to do that to himself.""I just wanted some closure. To know that he was over me and would be okay. But he doesn't want to forgive me."Draco grit his teeth for a moment in an attempt to quell his rage. "So, you spoke to him then?""Only for a few minutes, in the common room." Demian admitted, you weren't home yet and I left a note." He pointed over to the dresser.Draco just sighed, "You know the old me would go out there right now and beat him for making you cry." He admitted, "But the new me would rather stay here with you and reassure you that as long as he's alive, that's what matters. So what, he tried to kill himself. He didn't succeed and it's unlikely he'll do it again without good reason.""But, seeing us every day..." Demian said."And? He was going to see it one day no matter what. He'll find someone else; I promise you that."Demian just nodded, but remained silent."Now stop moping and come here." He opened his arms, "Yay, he lived." He said, somewhat sarcastically. Demian tried not to smile, he leaned into his chest and felt the tears dry up.And for the first time in their relationship, Demian saw Draco quench the rage. He sighed in relief and he melted into his touch. For a while, they both said nothing. A knock at Dracos door sent them both back to reality and Demian sat up, looking at him curiously."Who could that be?""I have not the faintest idea." Draco said, he got up and answered the door, but no one was there. A mysterious letter was placed on the ground and he picked it up quickly, sighing in annoyance."I'm so fucking tired of all this secretive bullshit around here." He flipped it around and it had the unmistakable seal of his house. He opened it and read it silently to himself."Dearest Draco,I've searched relentlessly for the answers to the removal of the dark mark but have found nothing but speculation. This might sound strange, but I believe you should put your differences aside and ask Harry Potter for help. If anyone is going to know how, or might know someone who does, it's him. Do not let anyone see you fraternizing together. Be cautious and tell no one.Remember that I love you son,Your Mother."He sighed softly, lifting his wand and igniting the page until it turned to ashes as a precaution.Demian sat there on the bed watching him curiously, he raised his eyebrow as the ashes hit the floor."What was that?""My mother." He responded. "She couldn't find anything, thinks I should ask Potter for...help.""Are you going to do it?" Demian questioned."I mean, do I have any other choice?" He said, sighing to himself. "Haven't spoken to that annoying prick in months, and now I'm stuck groveling to him? I was supposed to kill him, not kiss his ass for a cure." He said, the rage sneaking its way back in.Demian got up then. "Draco stop, you were never going to kill him, were you?""I didn't want to, but that didn't mean I wouldn't if I was forced." He admitted."So then we need to get his help now, before the summer hits. It could take time for him to find the answer. Lets go right now." Demian insisted."Right fucking now?" Draco said, he crossed his arms in disapproval. "Fuck, you're serious.""Yes I'm serious. Please, do it for us. I don't want you to have to kill again, and we need to be rid of this mark if we want any chance of actually having a life together.""I know you're right, but we have a complicated history of me being a dick to him a lot. I doubt he would help me anyways.""There's no way to know if you don't try.""Yeah yeah, whatever." He said, "Lets go before I lose my nerve."They both got up and headed towards the Gryffindor common room. They stood outside anxiously for a moment."I've never actually be in their common room before I'll admit that." Draco said, "In fact I feel awkward just coming this close.""I'll do it." Demian said confidently, you just follow behind me."Not much of a follower but I'll take the back seat on this one. Lead the way." He said.Demian marched up to the portrait of the Fat Lady and spoke the password, only she didn't open the door."Why, you're not Gryffindor's. What could you want with this room?" She said, curiously."Please let us in, we just need to talk with someone." Demian pleaded.The Fat Lady just laughed, shuffling on her stone seat. "Who?""Harry Potter." Demian said to her, Draco shoved an elbow into his back."I'm supposed to be lying fucking low about this." He said to him."Oh um, it's me I want to speak with him personally." Demian lied. "He's just my...boyfriend."Draco scoffed, "What the fuck?" He said quietly."Oh I see....well, Master Potter isn't here anyway. So, the door will remain closed, unfortunately. Good Luck on your search." She said, giving them a coy smile.Draco sighed and turned to leave. Demian turned to him. "Wait, Draco. Let's just ask someone who might know where he is before we give up." He protested.When they were far enough away from the common room Draco turned to him, "Demian, listen. You have to be more careful; no one can know I'm speaking to Potter or some very bad things could happen." He said, fear tainting his words. "Do you understand that?""I'm sorry Draco..." He said softly. "I'll be more careful in the future, I promise.""You'd better." He said, somewhat sternly. Just then Ron Weasley came walking up the staircase, "Bingo." Draco said, "Ask that one there."Demian nodded and said to him, "Excuse me, do you know where Harry Potter is?""Blimey, it's true." Ron said, pointing to Malfoy. "You're dating this one here?""Fuck you Weasley, just tell us where Potter is.""Answer the question and I'll tell you." He said, somewhat demanding."Alright yes, It's true." Malfoy admitted to him."I never thought in a million years it was true." He tried to stifle a laugh, "But you know what, good for you Malfoy. You certainly look like a changed man if I ever saw one."Malfoy didn't know if his intentions were malicious in those words but he couldn't control himself he gripped Rons robes in his balled up fist and said to him, "Tell me where he is and take no more interest in my personal life. Who I fuck is my own business, just like who you don't fuck is yours." He dropped him."Geez Malfoy you're still a prick then I see, he's at Quidditch practice." He fixed his robes, "I never had a problem with who you fucked, just thought it was funny how quickly this school changes is all." He turned to leave, "Oh, nice to meet you Demian." He said before he left.When he was no longer in ear shot Demian turned to him, "How did he know my name?""Don't forget, you're dating me. It's kind of a big deal who I fuck, apparently. And especially when they're boys."Demian blushed a little bit, he hadn't thought about how the entire school had likely at least heard a rumor about them. In fact, maybe he'd been trying to hide that from himself in an attempt to spare his own feelings. He didn't like feeling like the center of attention, much less so than Draco did."What? You didn't know?" He laughed, "Showing your naivety again.""Hey, fuck you." Demian said, they laughed a bit together before heading out to the quidditch field, eager to talk to someone whom they hoped would help them.