Honeslty, my first life wasn't anything impressive. I grew up in a merchant family, travelling from places to places to sell our products and learning different cultures around the world. One day, I had enough of constantly changing countries and never have a fixed roof above my head, so I rebelled against my family and ran away. I ended up in small village, where I use my family's teachings to install a small business - I basically became an innkeeper. And I stayed there for over sixty years.
My family searched me, of course, my father and brothers always overly concerned about me, but they never found me. My mother, though, came one day knocking to my frontdoor, but when she saw that I was well, she relented and promised to keep my location to herself. Thinking back, I had to admit they were good folks, especially considering their wealth.
Because that was my most uneventful and most peaceful life, I don't remember much of it, only that I was mostly content. I died in my bedroom, leaving the business to an orphan I had rescued and taught for thirteen years.
I thought that would be the end. When I opened my eyes, I understood that was far from it. I was a baby, surrounded by adults of a race I didn't recognise, hearing sounds (words) I couldn't make sense of. I quickly understood that somehow, I didn't lose my memories in my reincarnation, and I tried to live this life keeping my secret.
My second life was perhaps the most eventful of them, because I was born the first son of an Emperor, thus fated to inherit an Empire.
That had been a whole adventure, seriously. Sometimes fun, sometimes tragic, always entertaining. I learned a lot. I became Emperor pretty young, at fourteen, but thanks to the almost-eighty years I already had under my belt, I managed. Then they were political marriages, political intrigues, one or two love stories, a few heartaches, wars with other countries, deep friendships and unforgettable lessons. More than two hundred years of that.
Once again, I thought that would be it. With time, I slowly began to forget my first life, relegating it to a dream or a fantasy. I had lived so long as an Imperial, a drakekin male, that I couldn't imagine myself as a human female innkeeper anymore. I was ready to enter the river of death and the tree of reincarnation.
But, when I opened my eyes for the third time, I remembered in a flash my two first lives. Then, I began to seriously questioned myself. Was there something wrong with my soul ? Was I the subject of some experiments of a deity ? Why had I to bear almost three hundred years of memories, while other lifeforms could make their life anew without this burden ? What was happening ? Was I the only one ? How was it happing ? Why ? I dedicated my third life to those questions.
Fortunately, I was born the second daughter of a rich family, in a country where gender roles were pretty laxed and the social system as much benevolent as possible. I entered science schools, then magic academies, then Research Associations and finally founded my own place. I created a whole new field on souls, their passage in other dimensions, the purpose and duty of the gods.
I did not found my answers, at the end. I discovered new rules, new interactions between the magical, the physical and the mytical worlds. I tested so many theories and researched so many different fields. But I could not find why I kept my memories nor why was I the only one.
I died frustrated and angry, hoping this death would be my last.
When it turned out not to be, that another one awaited me, I became so very tired. My new family thought me sick and tried to get rid of my. The country and times I had awakened in were not kind. I turned a little crazy, because, there were already so much lives in my soul, I honesty did not remember since how long it had been…
Thankfully, I found love, and it helped me accept the situation I was in.
After my fourth life, my fifth, sixth and seventh passed much quickly. I simple learned to enjoy my new experiences, the new races I would discover, the new faces I would meet, the languages I would learn, the different societies. Sometimes I would live longer, sometimes I would die sooner.
I learn to love it, eventually. In times of crisis as well as in times of abundance.
Then came my eight life. At this point, I was pretty used to it. Each time, a new family, then I would have to relearn an entire new language, then depending on what I'd grasp of the status of the environment I would stumbled upon, I would reveal what I could do. All the while letting people assume I was some kind of precoce or genius. This time, it was war.
Oh, I had already survived war. My second, fourth and fifth reincarnations all saw multiples horrors of the same kind. The difference was, I had never experienced war as an infant. To my sensible brain not yet totally formated, it proved traumatising.
Witnessing the massacre of my family set me on a path of carnage. The magic I inherited from my genes awakened much sooner than it should have, leading me to harness some dangerous abilities. And soon, I found myself entangled in a conflict far bigger than anything I'd already lived through. I was unable to heal from the loss and terrified to stop my fight.
Ninety-seven years later.
I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I knew I had to relax, I was way too tensed for it to be healthy to my exhausted body. "We won" I thought, "it's okay, now, Elev. Relax."
A sound of metal pierced through the fog of my hearing. The weapon I just dropped. The sound brought me back to my reality.
Corpses, all around me. Dark and bloodied. I could smell only blood. Not mine.
"Eniho" I whispered, and the last echoes of my magic evaporated around me, revealing a sight of desolation.
Dawn was close. I could almost see the weak light coming up from the horizon, and I sighed.
"General" said a voice nearby. "Objetive completed. The enemy has been annihilated."
The stars were still viewable. I gathered as much as energy as I could, and raised my chin so I could see them.
"Caimillo" I called, using what was left of my voice.
My friend was before me in less than an instant. She took in my state, quiet and strong like I knew her.
"It's time" I croaked. "It's.."
I collapsed in her arms.
"Rest, Eleva" she murmured in my ears, "you deserve it."
I closed my eyes.
Despite the nightmare that surrounded us - a scene caused by me - I didn't regret this almost-century of warfare and slaughter. Caim had been worth it. The others, too. The experiences gained, the encounters, the multiples views and magical systems and ideologies and political systems and people.
All of it, worth it. Even this constant fight against death, or this fight against myself to bring my brain to fonction properly despite the trauma and horror. All of it was part of life, a life that was somewhat eternal for me, and that I couldn't help but love.
But damn it, next time, I wouldn't mind easy and confortable.