Damian's POV
Flipping through the pages of the newly published magazine. Henry came running towards me with his arms wide open.
"Hide me daddy!" He jumped on me, aggressively looking for where to hide from his predator.
"Hold on there champ, you will bruise yourself!" I held onto him but he insisted on hiding, he pulled my T-shirt up then hid himself inside my clothes.
"Oh I see, you ran to your father, right!" Samantha said as she came towards me, she was chasing him with a slipper in her hands.
"Leave my little boy alone Sammy!" I said while trying to play along.
"Now, Henry apologize to your mother," I brought him out of my shirt then placed him on the floor, he ran towards her then gave her a hug.
"I am sorry mum, I love you" he whispered, then ran back inside, children…
I went back to read the magazine but it was pulled from my hands.
"Hey!, give me that, it's important"
She rolled her eyes, then tossed the papers across the room.
"What makes the piece of paper important?, and besides you didn't even ask him what he did, you just told him to apologize, is that how to treat a misbehaving child!"
A sigh escaped my lips. I was tired of all this, "can you not nag for one day? Whatever he had done, he had apologized to you, he even confessed his feelings for you in the process, what more do you want?"
"You can't see it can you!, you can't see what you are doing wrong, Henry has taken after you so much now, and not only that, he ran towards you, and you didn't caution him, or ask what he had done that made me chase him the way I did"
"What did he say or do?" I finally asked, just to fulfill all righteousness.
"Well if you must know he said you let him go the to the pack today, and he saw two twin sisters, he loves one, and he didn't like the other one, and he had made example of me being the latter which he didn't like, all because he had overheard us arguing about Lisa, and you fuckin caused it, now my son thinks his father doesn't love his mother, but rather his mothers dead sister"
Lisa… Lisa, the only word I heard after all she had said.
"Damisn, you won't say anything right?, you won't say anything!"
"It was only one time Sammy, and you brought up that argument not me, each time you compare yourself with Lisa not me, If there's anyone to blame here, then blame yourself, and besides you should have cautioned him rather than threaten to smack him,"
"You are totally unbelievable, you know most times you make me feel like I am not enough,"
I stood up from my seat, I wasn't mentally prepared to hear what she had to say now, I was enjoying my stay on the patio before she came, and now I felt overly nauseous.
"Damian!, come back here Damian!, Damian!"
I walked towards the study room then locked the door. A long awaited sigh escaped my lips as I sagged on the door, my palm cupping my face in distress.
I took in a deep breath while trying to calm my mind down but nothing worked, her name was like hypnosis in my mind, it automatically made me sad and depressed but I held it In.
She died five years ago. When she left my house after signing the divorce paper, she jumped into the water, and after weeks of looking for her, parts of her were washed up shore.
I haven't gotten myself ever since I heard the news, she died with my children in her belly, I killed her, I was the reason she died.
I stood from the seat. Then walked over to the cabinet far from the response table.
When Samantha came in as my wife, I was meant to dispose all of Lisa pictures, but I kept one, and it was the day of our wedding, she was dressed in a wedding gown, with the widest smile I had ever seen before, even while we were married she her smiled as much as she did on our wedding day.
Then beside her picture was her perfume, I sprayed it on my hands anytime I felt distressed and I tapped my cheeks with it.
I performed this ritual with my eyes closed so It could feel like she was the one before me,telling me that she forgave me, it made me relax each time, but once I opened my eyes I was back to reality. And my guilt amplified.
I traced my fingers around the lines of her face. It gladdened my heart to see her smile, but I kept it just as fast.
I could not leave my life in the past, I could not keep doing this forever, she was dead, Lisa died. And she isn't coming back.
I pulled the picture from the cabinet with her perfume alongside then tossed it in the trash, brought out a lighter from my pockets then lighted the side of the picture before dumping it into the trash can.
This was my final goodbye.
"Rest in leave Lisa, and forgive me, but I have to learn how to live my life without guilt,and I am not prepared to see you now, I am sorry" I whispered into the flames, but as I turned to leave, I felt my heart palpitate vigorously, if almost crippled my legs.
I could not let her picture burn, I turned back to the flames, without a second thought I grabbed the picture then began to dust the flames out. I hugged it. Sighed and sagged back to the floor.
Looking at the picture, it had only burnt the side of my face. And her smile was untouched.
I kissed it again.
The lyrics of a particular song I had listened to all these years played in my mind.
'And you only miss the light with its burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go'
While I stared at the roof top, being in total fuck up, I found myself dozing off.
I laidback in silence for hours before I decided to come out, when I finally did, Samantha and Henry weren't there. I asked about them, and I was told that they had left hours earlier.
Going back to my room to have a proper rest, my phone rang, it was grandpa.
"Hello sir" I said, completely bemused.
"Damian, when will Henry be coming over, he hasn't been here in a week" grandpa said over the phone, he had become so obsessed with Henry, ever since he was born, it was as though the love and obsession he had over me was diverted to my little boy.
And also the fact that he had come down with a stroke, a year ago, the only way to seek dopamine was to watch Henry ramble about, and play games with him.
"I will bring him tomorrow, how are you doing?" I asked, he sighed over the phone .
"Fine enough to survive the year, there's a possibility of me coming out of the stroke, but I am not optimistic about it. But that aside, I called to ask about you. How's your family?,"
"Fine sir"
"Your wife, how's she, I can't wait to hear the news of another baby, and maybe this time, it will be a daughter, I dream of twins all the time, all though my lineage, there have been twin sisters, and I hope I see one from your end before I die" he teased, while laughing.
I laughed along.
"I hope so too, I want to have female children, maybe it could fill the void Chloe and Claire's death caused"
There was silence between us, Chloe and Claire were my little siblings, they died in a plane crash alongside my parents on their way to see me across the country, I never healed from the pain.
While we had nothing to say again, I sat there, listening to our breath, but thankfully there was a knock on my door. My first thought was Henry, but Henry never knocked, he would push the door wide open, so I just walked over to see who it was.
"Sir, a flower came in for your wife" one of the workers said, while holding a massive flower bouquet.
Who would send Samantha flowers?
I took it then placed it on the bed, while I continued on the call but the note attached to the flower caught my attention.
"Knock knock
Who's there?
Your darkest secret.
My heart skipped, darkest secret?. Who could this be?
"Grandpa, something really urgent came up, I will call you later."